Venting does anyone else struggle with small talk?

[sulli]

it's been so difficult for me over the past few years and it's only getting harder.
people ask how i am, of course i just reply with "i'm good, how are you?" even though it's not true because they're just being polite and don't actually want to know. i get more & more exhausted each time i have to lie.
people ask what i've been up to, i don't have an answer for them. i can't say "rotting in bed, scrolling through sasu, cutting/starving myself, casting about desperately for a reason to live." in the same vein when people ask what my hobbies or interests are, i just can't remember. maybe if we all stuck to talking about the weather i'd have an easier time of it.
don't mistake this for me having a social life though it's mostly my therapist or case manager that ask me these things of late.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

absofuckinglutely. small talk makes me want to rip my skin off. thankfully the only time i have to do it is when i get injections, the nurse always asks how im doing etc. i think ive gotten better at it tho bc ive kind of got a bit of a script to follow. like it used to go:
them- how are you?
me- ok thanks.
and then itd be rly awkward cuz i wouldnt know what else to say, but ive gotten into the habit of saying "ok thanks, how are you?" which helps kind of push the focus off of me and back onto the other person. until they start asking questions like "what do you do, are you in education or in a job?" and then i have to decide whether i just say some vague shit like "oh im inbetween jobs atm" or i tell them the truth and have the conversation go awkward again. part of me wishes i just kept my old awkward way of replying bc it just ends the conversation but i always feel rude not asking how the other person is and i feel bad about it for the rest of the day >n< i cant fucking win with my brain lol

 

[sulli]

absofuckinglutely. small talk makes me want to rip my skin off. thankfully the only time i have to do it is when i get injections, the nurse always asks how im doing etc. i think ive gotten better at it tho bc ive kind of got a bit of a script to follow. like it used to go:
them- how are you?
me- ok thanks.
and then itd be rly awkward cuz i wouldnt know what else to say, but ive gotten into the habit of saying "ok thanks, how are you?" which helps kind of push the focus off of me and back onto the other person. until they start asking questions like "what do you do, are you in education or in a job?" and then i have to decide whether i just say some vague shit like "oh im inbetween jobs atm" or i tell them the truth and have the conversation go awkward again. part of me wishes i just kept my old awkward way of replying bc it just ends the conversation but i always feel rude not asking how the other person is and i feel bad about it for the rest of the day >n< i cant fucking win with my brain lol

I KNOW RIGHTTT i hate when people ask me what i do as if i'm not a hikikomori who briefly breached containment it's so embarrassing to have to admit to being 28 & nothing but a failure. let me decompose in peace please

 

[NumbItAll]

Yes, I crumble at the slightest bit of basic questioning. I prefer bantering about random nonsense instead of being grilled over the usual "what do you do for work, where did you go to school, etc."

people ask what i've been up to, i don't have an answer for them. i can't say "rotting in bed, scrolling through sasu, cutting/starving myself, casting about desperately for a reason to live."

sometimes it is fun to hit em with something like that just to see how they react tho

 

[sulli]

Yes, I crumble at the slightest bit of basic questioning. I prefer bantering about random nonsense instead of being grilled over the usual "what do you do for work, where did you go to school, etc."

sometimes it is fun to hit em with something like that just to see how they react tho

it is but i get accused of oversharing a lot so i try to tone it down

 

[NumbItAll]

it is but i get accused of oversharing a lot so i try to tone it down

hmmm maybe they are just overasking but yeah sometimes i forget that people actually enjoy/value life and accidentally say things that are alarming to them even though it's normal to me

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Depends on how much I click with someone. But 95% of the time I don't, so...

 

[Actovania]

Yeah, I hate it so much. I'm so confused why people feel the need to talk when there's absolutely no reason to. There's no point to the conversation in small talk and you aren't getting anywhere or learning anything about the person. If I give people genuine answers they will just avoid me because I'm not offering them what they wanted.

 

[movinout17]

100% since my current obsession is going on this site and getting hypnotized by the idea of suicide. So I have nothing to talk about. Ik, It's bad, like I want to be suicidal.

Even when I was more functional, before this site, I wasn't very good at small talk, it was always a struggle to be functional enough to be "normal" enough to hold a conversation.

Now, thanksgiving is coming up and I am dreading meeting the extended family.

 

[Kit1]

I struggle with any meaningless chatter - I listened to someone yesterday talk about a particular food with someone else and was amazed at this conversation.

 

[traumer]

i do and that's why i shamelessly lie about the things that don't even matter while small talks, it makes me get less uncomfy. did someone ask about my job? suddenly i'm a nurse and i have a night shift today so it's better if i go rest a bit. is anyone curious about my hobbies? suddenly my biggest hobby is to build stuff with sparkling water bottles (beypazarı)

 

[Unsure and Useless]

There's no such thing as small talk to me since I don't really know what constitutes as "small talk."

I have four modes:

1. Silence
2. Oversharing
3. Info dumping about something I'm obsessed about
4. Asking the most vile questions that would make even the Devil pause

Wanting anything more than that is like wanting a fish to sprout legs and walk on land!

 

[Blackpepperpancake]

I used to hate it, so I have come up a way to think of it as a games, keep asking questions to see which one they like and so on. People always like to talk about themselve, so far I could pretend to listening to a girl who was fangirling about stupid stuff, it was boring yet I think of it as a patience test.

 

[D1byRam3n]

All i can do just say hi...because I don't know what needs for me to be sharing about,it just like now...

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I struggle with talking in general. No matter how knowledgeable or passionate I am about a subject I just can't relay thoughts into words.