Discussion Does anyone else sort of take pride in suffering?

[PointlessStruggle]

I for some reason have begun to equate mental agony with virtue, and refuse to indulge in any classic coping mechanisms. In my head, I see it as averting my eyes from reality, and not staring life in the face. I take pride in forcing myself to peer into the abyss. One mentality I picked up that has helped me is I imagine that the entire world wants me to ctb. That as soon as I do it everyone will drop everything to cheer and dance. And I think that every breath I take causes agony to the rest of Earth. Obviously I don't actually think like that but it sort of hypes me up. Sort of a "don't give in!" thing.

 

[Arthaniel]

Admittedly, there is some artistry in it. If only such thinking supports you, maybe try to draw some motivation from it.

 

[Soul]

My grandmother started equating suffering with virtue at some point. Unfortunately she felt she was doing us all good by making us suffer in various ways. It was beaucoup fucked up.

 

[Belaya Noch]

There is something about it. Even Romanian writer Emil Cioran said something like this: "People take pride in their suffering" (however, imo his works are more like a poetic prose, not some consistent philosophy).

 

[Weary Soul]

I likely did a very long time ago, but now? Nah, I just want my suffering gone.

 

[SmellyRat]

There is something about it. Even Romanian writer Emil Cioran said something like this: "People take pride in their suffering" (however, imo his works are more like a poetic prose, not some consistent philosophy).

That's probably a coping mechanism we've developed to stop us from going insane.
Religions are good at this because they give a purpose to the suffering ie its to get to paradise etc...

 

[SuicideBoys93]

My therapist a while back told me individuals fall in love with the pain. They're afraid to get better because they feel as if the depression is what makes them unique. I had a run of good vibes not long ago where I finally felt like my head was pulled from the clouds. I didn't grasp what she meant until I was living better.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

Maybe. But that doesn't matter because society thinks you're a fucking loon for even dwelling on anything that's not productive.

 

[demuic]

No, I hate it. Compared to others, I may not have suffered as much, but even this level of suffering has already pushed me to CTB. Anything worse and I really would not be here right now.

Though now I no longer have any desire to attempt to be "cured" by fraudulent psychiatric pills.

In a way, I can only relate to those who have suffered like here on SS, those who haven't had strife in their life are alien to me, but I wish none of us had to suffer.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Sometimes yes. When I feel it under control I like to imagine it as a wave which I'm surfing on(surf that wave of agonizing suffering baby). This wave acts both as something that let's me experience the motion of life and also as something that can be the potential cause of my death, where I die by drowning in this wave of unknown depths. But when I don't feel my shit under control, then I'd much rather prefer to die asap because in those times my mind is like a separate entity looking for new ways to harm me from inside and everyone else around me.

 

[LastFlowers]

People who suffer to the degree where they want to take their life usually no longer have room for any kind of "pride" or growth from their unique experiences. It has gone too far and lasted too long. Though I can say that a certain degree of pain and suffering can bring about a more fleshed out human being.

The thing is, the people who really like to boast about how much they suffer are usually the ones yet to experience true and permanent suffering. They are the privileged who have to make up their own wounds in order to gain the sympathy card among their already stacked deck. I don't mean a quiet pride or respect for their own hell, I mean attention seeking behavior, wanting their hand in every pot.

 

[AutoTap]

me too we don't deserve to suffer

 

[MrBlue]

I do definitely aggree with not wanting to be deluded about my actual situation, but I also feel deeply ashamed of my suffering and pain. A better person would have escaped from the problems I face years and years ago, or never had them to begin with.

Yet I keep failing, keep slipping backward or hitting a wall to progress, and I don't think I'll ever reach a point that I would consider recovered even if I tried my hardest until I died of natural causes. I also hate that I can't seem to just man up and accept that I'll always be the way I am.