Does anyone else plan to ctb but still make plans for the future

[mr.smileysad]

I want to ctb before I turn 30 but I still keep planning for the future as if I will keep on living. does anyone else do this?

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I am still very stingy.
I think it is smart to have a back up though.

 

[All washed up]

I've go no future plans or ctb plans at the moment.
It's ridiculous it's almost like I'm drifting to ctb thoughts as I've nothing else to plan for

 

[GreenGoblin]

I want to ctb before I turn 30 but I still keep planning for the future as if I will keep on living. does anyone else do this?

I do that as well, I'm an Irishman with three combat tours in the 'Stan, amongst other combat drops around the globe, sometimes I feel like I never left, I still make plans but like you say I have a date in mind but maybe we are holding off because we have something to actually live for, please consider long and hard mo chara as although it's the destination we all end up there is no going back, I hope that helps and if ever you need someone to talk to I'd proudly have a wee chat with you.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Gotta do something until that time comes. If you do something or just move around time runs faster. Time is a variable and can be easily manipulated by: drinking, doing something illegal, adrenaline chasing etc. Just sitting and doing nothing and waiting for the date can be a lot more torturous. Of course this applies to those who don't have any conditions that could potentially restrict the movement.

 

[GreenGoblin]

I've go no future plans or ctb plans at the moment.
It's ridiculous it's almost like I'm drifting to ctb thoughts as I've nothing else to plan for

I understand that completely my friend, apologies, I'm new here so

Gotta do something until that time comes. If you do something or just move around time runs faster. Time is a variable and can be easily manipulated by: drinking, doing something illegal, adrenaline chasing etc. Just sitting and doing nothing and waiting for the date can be a lot more torturous. Of course this applies to those who don't have any conditions that could potentially restrict the movement.

very true that, well put dearthair

 

[All washed up]

Hopefully this vaccine will sort out coronavirus and give me a chance to resume some of my interests that have been shutdown because of it and give me something to plan for

 

[GreenGoblin]

Hopefully this vaccine will sort out coronavirus and give me a chance to resume some of my interests that have been shutdown because of it and give me something to plan for

I hope so, won't be long just hang in there mo chara

 

[Weary Soul]

It is probably a habit to think and make plans for the future. I have done this all my life, ie, made plans for the future, so it has not been an easy habit to break.

I had a relative who was given about 2 weeks to live (he was dying of cancer). He went to his primary care physician and asked for a refill on a medication - a typical pattern of behavior for him. The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said. "Why? You will not be needing it."

 

[OrdinaryDay]

It is probably a habit to think and make plans for the future. I have done this all my life, ie, made plans for the future, so it has not been an easy habit to break.

I had a relative who was given about 2 weeks to live (he was dying of cancer). He went to his primary care physician and asked for a refill on a medication - a typical pattern of behavior for him. The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said. "Why? You will not be needing it."

This is so sad.. I'm so sorry ❤

 

[Weary Soul]

This is so sad.. I'm so sorry ❤

It was sad to see the shock and anger on his face, he was in denial right up to the end. I do not understand why the doctor didn't just fill the script for him... why shove it in his face? If he was in denial, so be it, it was where he needed to be.

Thank you for understanding, it was incredibly sad.

 

[Symbiote]

Always. It's good to have at least a couple of plans in the works. Death is only a safety net. I seek to rid myself from a toxic environment or die trying. I seek to live life on my own terms or die trying. I have the drive and ambition to make a six-figure income and live life to the fullest...or die trying. When opportunity presents itself, do you just take it and see where it goes? Or let it pass knowing that it's fruitless and you'll die anyways?

I figure I can keep trying until I can't try anymore.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

It is probably a habit to think and make plans for the future. I have done this all my life, ie, made plans for the future, so it has not been an easy habit to break.

I had a relative who was given about 2 weeks to live (he was dying of cancer). He went to his primary care physician and asked for a refill on a medication - a typical pattern of behavior for him. The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said. "Why? You will not be needing it."

Sad, and that primary is an idiot. Doctors aren't God or psychics. People dieing of cancer or other almients often greatly exceed their life expectancies based on the medical opinions, and in other cases they don't make it as long as expected. Their prognosis is nothing more than an educated guess.

Shit, look at people who are terminal and are being kept alive on life support until they ultimately get unplugged, and then some don't die. In fact, some make complete recoveries. I read one story of a guy who was determined brain dead, and he was on life support until he was finally unplugged to let him die, but he lived and fully recovered. He claims although he was medically ruled "brain dead" that he heard and understood everything that was happening around him in the hospital, but he was unable to respond or to acknowledge anything. So, seemingly this person was flat line on the brain wave machine , but he was still somehow conscious. Knowing these stories helps me understand parents who are reluctant to unplug their children from life support and take their cases to court to try and force hospital staff to keep their child hooked to the machines.

One never knows who is going to be the exception to the rule with any of this stuff.

 

[Weary Soul]

Always. It's good to have at least a couple of plans in the works. Death is only a safety net. I seek to rid myself from a toxic environment or die trying. I seek to live life on my own terms or die trying. I have the drive and ambition to make a six-figure income and live life to the fullest...or die trying. When opportunity presents itself, do you just take it and see where it goes? Or let it pass knowing that it's fruitless and you'll die anyways?

I figure I can keep trying until I can't try anymore.

I love what you said here and am sincerely wishing that you succeed.

What you said about having multiple plans in place for life is so crucial - I did not.

I made a 6-figure income for many, many years in a specialized field.

Life happened, my ex stole everything and injured my beyond repair or function, and I have absolutely no back-ups in place or support. Death is my final safety net and the only option I have left given my life experiences.

What I wrote above is in reference to stopping this habit now that death is approaching for me; however, if you have the wherewithal and drive to continue... then your advice here is as solid as it comes.

<3

Sad, and that primary is an idiot. Doctors aren't God or psychics. People dieing of cancer or other almients often greatly exceed their life expectancies based on the medical opinions, and in other cases they don't make it as long as expected. Their prognosis is nothing more than an educated guess.

Shit, look at people who are terminal and are being kept alive on life support until they ultimately get unplugged, and then some don't die. In fact, some make complete recoveries. I read one story of a guy who was determined brain dead, and he was on life support until he was finally unplugged to let him die, but he lived and fully recovered. He claims although he was medically ruled "brain dead" that he heard and understood everything that was happening around him in the hospital, but he was unable to respond or to acknowledge anything. So, seemingly this person was flat line on the brain wave machine , but he was still somehow conscious. Knowing these stories helps me understand parents who are reluctant to unplug their children from life support and take their cases to court to try and force hospital staff to keep their child hooked to the machines.

One never knows who is going to be the exception to the rule with any of this stuff.

Yup, that primary was nasty to say the least. Told him he was an asshat - my bad. ;)

Thank you <3

 

[Gnip]

I continually hedge my bets, always hoping that I'll wake up tomorrow morning with a different name, face, brain body and mind, with all of this having been nothing more than an easily forgotten nightmare, the product of a rude imagination, something which never happened.

 

[fixitinpost]

I gave up my long-term plans when I gave up on life. Many of those plans were made together with my ex-domestic partner of two years. House, kids, marriage - that kind of stuff. Then one day, about six months ago, she told me I'd only been good as a placeholder and took off with another guy.

Before it all started to weigh down on me, I made weekend plans and cooked lunch boxes and all that. I planned to get started with new hobbies and learn new skills. These days I don't even make plans for the day. I grocery shop 2-3 times a day, buying just what I need until the next time I have to eat (yeah, I know it's not great during a pandemic).

I had a relative who was given about 2 weeks to live (he was dying of cancer). He went to his primary care physician and asked for a refill on a medication - a typical pattern of behavior for him. The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said. "Why? You will not be needing it."

Oh man, that's extremely cold.

 

[Weary Soul]

Oh man, that's extremely cold.

Yes, it was, and your ex-domestic partner seems like a carbon copy. I am so sorry you went through this.

 

[Apathy's Girl]

This is the first time in a very long time that I've made future plans. I don't know if I will keep them. It doesn't matter to anyone but me. I'm just glad I have something to look forward to.

 

[Gnip]

It is probably a habit to think and make plans for the future. I have done this all my life, ie, made plans for the future, so it has not been an easy habit to break.

I had a relative who was given about 2 weeks to live (he was dying of cancer). He went to his primary care physician and asked for a refill on a medication - a typical pattern of behavior for him. The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said. "Why? You will not be needing it."

If anybody in my employ (which is exactly what this physician was, an employee) ever treats me like that, I will do everything in my power to destroy that person's career, life and reputation.

Many medical doctors don't seem to grasp the reality of the paying customer/patient-employee relationship. I take my business to health care providers who treat me properly. (My practitioners do not desire public praise, but their practices can't afford bad publicity in an internet day and age either.)

 

[Weary Soul]

If anybody in my employ (which is exactly what this physician was, an employee) ever treats me like that, I will do everything in my power to destroy that person's career, life and reputation.

Many medical doctors don't seem to grasp the reality of the paying customer/patient-employee relationship. I take my business to health care providers who treat me properly. (My practitioners do not desire public praise, but their practices can't afford bad publicity in an internet day and age either.)

Yes!

One time I accidentally cut my foot to the bone (severed a nerve and tendon) and was in severe pain.. When my relative relayed the story to him, the first words he said were, "Did she do it on purpose?"

O.O

Not bloody likely. I am NOT a fan of pain, and never had a history of self harm.

He had no business being a doctor or practicing medicine in any way. Unfortunately, I have met many like him along the way to the point I will no longer go to a doctor.

He is likely gone now given that he was quite elderly at the time and this was about 15 or so years ago.

<3

(@mr.smileysad - I am so sorry, my story sidetracked your thread ).

 

[GreenGoblin]

This is so sad.. I'm so sorry ❤

That heartless doctor who refused to give your dying relative something to ease his mind is in good need of a bad beating, he should broke his jaw, that's angered me, what a scumbag, what a heartless wander, pardon my swearing.

 

[Moon Flower]

I think it's a good idea. If you don't ctb you have a backup, and if you do ctb people won't see it coming/try to stop you

 

[Toptock]

Kinda. I know I'm impulsive so I'll do things like get groceries and occasionally plan lunches, but I've been turning down jobs and telling friends i wont be contacting them anymore because of my ctb plans.
I think there's no way I'll be seeking an actual vacation, or trip somewhere close.

 

[sadworld]

I've stopped planning things for the future a long time ago to be honest...

 

[k75]

I'm not trying to burn any bridges, so I'm maintaining while still making plans.

 

[NodusTollens]

I want to ctb before I turn 30 but I still keep planning for the future as if I will keep on living. does anyone else do this?

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with continuing to live & simultaneously plan. Life doesn't stop just because we are suicidal, if you want to plan for the worst &secretly hope for the best- I don't see anything wrong with it.

Do what works for you.

 

[stygal]

I have never had any longterm planning in my life. For example I never planned on having a family, my own home or a "well-paid/respected" job (didn't happen - I'm not sad about it).
I just always tried to stay afloat.....which thankfully worked out just fine till now - I've been extremely lucky in that regard.

My ctb won't change anything in my current lifestyle because of that "philosophy".

 

[NodusTollens]

I'm not trying to burn any bridges, so I'm maintaining while still making plans.

I find this incredibly troubling for myself bc when things take a turn I can't even be in the room with people, let alone have the energy to feign interest in conversation. I feel uncomfortable constantly, like the aura of my desire to CTB will emanate off me.

Like:

(;・・) ~~~(^_^;)~~~ (・・;)

I want to blend in, but I feel like people'll figure it out if I talk too much about myself or what's going on in my life.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I made a commitment to my cat's veterinarian to contact him next week. That's how far my plans are otherwise it is day to day. I swear, sometimes this cat is keeping me alive because I really don't want to stay but I can't exit yet.

 

[Varstraben]

I never planned my future, if I was I will not be in this forum today.
Technically I want to ctb since I'm around 11 years old, but because I'm a coward and a manipulator I didn't succeed for the moment.
I'm playing with staying on a chair with a noose around the neck for years only to relax myself and remove some stress, now I play with partial hanging without doing it completely only for evacuate some stress (I told myself that maybe one day I will accidentally pass out and die, so it make me happy), but as a coward I have never letting me completely doing it, most of time I stay immobile while crying.

Everything I done it was "maybe I should try it it could be fun", then the next day I was trying it and it took me to an engineer job but at the begin I wanted an easy job... only because one day I told to myself "software programming look fun" (plot twist : it's not when you have customers and responsibilities that you can't handle)

I'm still single and not planning anything, but if tomorrow I have any stupid idea that could make my life worst, I will do it without control and see what happen next.
No plan, no future, only present and unwanted consequences. Carpe diem like they said....