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nootthenoot

nootthenoot

Your local cat lover
Oct 11, 2022
50
I have no clue why I'm depressed, and it's pissing everyone off. I know that I'm a shitty person in general, and I know that this life sucks, and I know that I really want to ctb. But whenever anyone asks me why, I can't give them an answer. And then they start asking me variations of the same question, and I have to give a bogus answer. I don't know why I want to die, I just know my life is shit and I want to die. I know these people want to help me, but by focusing on finding a reason that wasn't there in the first place, you're wasting my time.

Anyone else feel this way?
 
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Idontmatter

Just want it all to be over
Oct 25, 2021
647
I have no clue why I'm depressed, and it's pissing everyone off. I know that I'm a shitty person in general, and I know that this life sucks, and I know that I really want to ctb. But whenever anyone asks me why, I can't give them an answer. And then they start asking me variations of the same question, and I have to give a bogus answer. I don't know why I want to die, I just know my life is shit and I want to die. I know these people want to help me, but by focusing on finding a reason that wasn't there in the first place, you're wasting my time.

Anyone else feel this way?
Yes, this is my problem too. I can't say exactly why I'm depressed but I just am. When I was in a mental facility last year the doctor kept asking me what happened to cause my depression. I kept saying I have no idea. All I know is I've tried everything to get better and nothing works so here I am. Making my plans to kill myself.
 
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S

SarRy

Student
Oct 5, 2022
193
Yes and no. In truth, I had depression before I had a real reason. I guess the closest thing to a reason back then was some feeling that I wasn't good enough and that the world was cruel. Now, as time has passed, I have my regrets to push me down. I guess the difference is that while I may not have wanted to live before, now I want to die. It's a lack of good versus the presence of the bad problem. I don't know why I thought that the good in life wasn't for me, but as time went on I was proven right. I know there is good out there. I know some people are happy. It's just not for me apparently.
 
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Outandproud

Outandproud

Don’t send pm without asking first
Oct 17, 2021
174
Daddy issues., mother neglect.. been depressed since been a kid.. not fit in anywhere.. lazy self abandoned .. just that for me.. serch inside your self youll find it.. maybe you cant fixe it but can cope with it with help
I know exactly why
Why babe
 
almaranthine

almaranthine

Wizard
Nov 28, 2019
615
I know why I'm the way I am, and it makes me even angrier at myself. I know exactly where I went wrong in life and why my life became the train wreck that it is. I know precisely why my mental health deteriorated and what triggered my mental illness. Knowing why doesn't make any of it any better, unfortunately.
 
Outandproud

Outandproud

Don’t send pm without asking first
Oct 17, 2021
174
I know why I'm the way I am, and it makes me even angrier at myself. I know exactly where I went wrong in life and why my life became the train wreck that it is. I know precisely why my mental health deteriorated and what triggered my mental illness. Knowing why doesn't make any of it any better, unfortunately.
Im so sorry dear, it must be hard on you that it cannot be fixed, whatever it is
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,601
I feel like depression changes your actual outlook on life. The definition of it encompasses this- you no longer find pleasure in things you used to enjoy. So- everything looks hopeless and meaningless. I don't think there are always specific things that are upsetting- it's an overall feeling.

I guess the next question is why we get depressed in the first place. I guess there are sometimes specific events that trigger it but I'm not sure. I think it can be genetic. I'm not convinced that all of our default settings are happy to begin with. I think I've always been a pessimist- even as a child.

A college therapist once asked me if I remembered a time when I was happy. I guess that's useful- to try and establish when and why things started going wrong. Have you had happier times or have you always felt like this? I guess it tries to root out what's important to you in life and I suppose there's a hope we simply strayed away from that and returning to it will make us 'better'. Not terribly convinced myself...

I relate to you saying everyone is becoming pissed off by your depression. Doesn't that piss you off even more though?!! It does me. Gets to the point where it feels easier/ better just to avoid people or to talk about neutral subjects like the weather!

I'm sorry you are suffering. I do feel the same. Do you ever ask the people asking you why you want to die- Why they want to live? I loved it in the new Ghostbusters film when the only reason Melissa McCarthy could come up with was soup!
 
Summer Child

Summer Child

-cognitive dissonance personified-
Oct 15, 2022
23
Me. I think it's just my general vibe, my personality. Just been like this for a long time. I do have my reasons to be upset, but, even when I'm happy, I think of dying at that moment so I could have died happy. Before anything bad had a chance to happen again. So, bad things happening or not, I'll always just seem kind of sad.

I do experience happiness, it's just, temporary reprieve, I guess? It's kind of stopped helping now, got too used to it.
 
myfinalform

myfinalform

Member
Oct 12, 2022
65
in my opinion i think im suicidal because i have no friends anymore that i could contact and talk about stuffs or hang out like we used to do or even play games online
 
nootthenoot

nootthenoot

Your local cat lover
Oct 11, 2022
50
If your life sucks (as you said) its normal to feel depressed
Ah, that makes sense. If only the psych system can take that as an answer, since whenever I give that as an answer, the question following that is 'why?'. Like, can't someone's life suck in general even if there's nothing specific causing it to suck?
I feel like depression changes your actual outlook on life. The definition of it encompasses this- you no longer find pleasure in things you used to enjoy. So- everything looks hopeless and meaningless. I don't think there are always specific things that are upsetting- it's an overall feeling.

I guess the next question is why we get depressed in the first place. I guess there are sometimes specific events that trigger it but I'm not sure. I think it can be genetic. I'm not convinced that all of our default settings are happy to begin with. I think I've always been a pessimist- even as a child.

A college therapist once asked me if I remembered a time when I was happy. I guess that's useful- to try and establish when and why things started going wrong. Have you had happier times or have you always felt like this? I guess it tries to root out what's important to you in life and I suppose there's a hope we simply strayed away from that and returning to it will make us 'better'. Not terribly convinced myself...

I relate to you saying everyone is becoming pissed off by your depression. Doesn't that piss you off even more though?!! It does me. Gets to the point where it feels easier/ better just to avoid people or to talk about neutral subjects like the weather!

I'm sorry you are suffering. I do feel the same. Do you ever ask the people asking you why you want to die- Why they want to live? I loved it in the new Ghostbusters film when the only reason Melissa McCarthy could come up with was soup!
I guess that explains it. I've always been a depressed and pessimistic person, even as a kid. It makes sense that it's why I my outlook on life is so negative. The last thing you said also makes sense, cause non-depressed/suicidal people usually can't fathom why anyone would want to die. I think I'm going to ask people why they want to live from now on, so then they can have an idea of what I'm going through.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
I have no clue why I'm depressed, and it's pissing everyone off. I know that I'm a shitty person in general, and I know that this life sucks, and I know that I really want to ctb. But whenever anyone asks me why, I can't give them an answer. And then they start asking me variations of the same question, and I have to give a bogus answer. I don't know why I want to die, I just know my life is shit and I want to die. I know these people want to help me, but by focusing on finding a reason that wasn't there in the first place, you're wasting my time.

Anyone else feel this way?
I can't tell you why I feel this way, only that I do feel this way.
 
Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,758
If only the psych system can take that as an answer, since whenever I give that as an answer, the question following that is 'why?'
you should questioning then why you keep going there
 
FadeOut

FadeOut

Member
Aug 9, 2022
51
Partly.

I know I am suicidal because of my anxiety/OCD, which is draining most of my energy. There are some hints as to why I might have developed it in the first place, but it's not entirely clear.

But I also feel like life makes no sense, to put it shortly, and the reason for this is way more unclear.
 
Message In A Bottle

Message In A Bottle

📜 Just me, myself, and I
Apr 1, 2022
374
Social isolation…also had some childhood trauma and emotional neglect. Controlling parents could also be a factor. I've been in a cage for so long, and now that I'm "free to leave" I don't know what to do or what path to follow. It's like letting a caged animal loose and expecting it to fend for itself.
 
nootthenoot

nootthenoot

Your local cat lover
Oct 11, 2022
50
you should questioning then why you keep going there
I'm forced to, if I had a chose in the matter I probably wouldn't at this point. But at this point it's too late to do anything, I just have to roll with it.
 

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