Does anyone else here think they're evil?

[jackodonnell]

I'm so disgusted with myself. I used to be a nice, moral person. But the past few months the way I think and see the world has become so warped. I did so many wrong and evil things, totally convinced that I had no other choice. I've completely lost who I used to be. I can never go back. I can never be the person that I was and I don't think I can ever be a good person again. And I still hurt people all the time. I think I've lost my mind. CTB is the only way I can redeem myself and even then I don't think it will be enough.

 

[Insomniac]

I can definitely can relate to that.

Sometimes I have the most horrible thoughts. I hurt others to get what I need and then convince myself that it is the only way. But it is not. It's the easy way.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I behaved badly out of weakness. Perhaps a distant anemic cousin to evil. Foolish and destructive most definitely.

 

[jackodonnell]

I hurt everyone I've ever loved and I enjoyed every minute of it. If I gave into my impulses I would do a lot more damage. I didn't used to be like this. I want to be a kind person who makes the world a better place but I think it's too late to change.

 

[Huntfish34]

I've had some of those thoughts a lot in the past 4 / 5 years. Generally as a Whole, for the most part I don't think I am evil.... But there are times when I can delve into the dark side of resentments and Absolute fucking hatred for others / myself. Can be a fairly vicious cycle to say the Least, like I'm a totally different person.

Just remember that you are Not alone, wish you the best.

 

[justwanttogo]

im not evil im just really egocentric.

what evil things did you do?
maybe youre just too hard on yourself and hate yourself for having desires..

evil is a kindof human evaluation or judgment, in nature there is nothing evil or saint, good or bad

so whatever you did, is kind of natural

its only bad if you decided to do it though you knew of the negative consequences it'll have on other beings

dont be too hard on yourself, life is hard afterall

wish you the best

 

[hungry_ghost]

Yes. I think about the "old" me, before failed endeavors and certain stressors tested my character, and I miss who I used to be.

I've done some horrible things in my life out of grief, spite, feeling trapped, feeling rejected and walked over.

I guess the only thing now is to keep those mistakes in the back of mind and make sure I never repeat them.

 

[jackodonnell]

im not evil im just really egocentric.

what evil things did you do?
maybe youre just too hard on yourself and hate yourself for having desires..

evil is a kindof human evaluation or judgment, in nature there is nothing evil or saint, good or bad

so whatever you did, is kind of natural

its only bad if you decided to do it though you knew of the negative consequences it'll have on other beings

dont be too hard on yourself, life is hard afterall

wish you the best

I stalked and harassed the only man I've ever had romantic feelings for. To the point where I was arrested and am under investigation. I did so many awful things to him because I refused to allow him to be happy with someone else. I purposefully wanted to make him miserable. I am evil.

 

[justwanttogo]

hmm that doesnt sound evil, just kinda immature.. no front though
i think it comes down to self love, if u really love him than youd be ok with him not being with you..
maybe youre more afraid of not being loved by him anymore, what wouldnt be so bad if you loved yourself enough..

but who am i to preach selflove, i hate myself soo much lol..
just really drunk

i bet you are pretty likeable

 

[GreenTree]

I'm not evil just foolish. Made many unwise choices. Basically every choice I ever made has been unwise and now I'm paying for it along with my family. That causes more pain than anything. I convinced myself that I was a good person. Then realised I'm not after a nervous breakdown. The devil is out to get fools and you need wisdom too avoid his carnage. Life is one big game. A stupid game. Should be more guidance from a higher being to help people make wiser decisions.

 

[come to dust]

I stalked and harassed the only man I've ever had romantic feelings for. To the point where I was arrested and am under investigation. I did so many awful things to him because I refused to allow him to be happy with someone else. I purposefully wanted to make him miserable. I am evil.

What was so great about him that no other man could compare?

 

[ambiendreams]

I stalked and harassed the only man I've ever had romantic feelings for. To the point where I was arrested and am under investigation. I did so many awful things to him because I refused to allow him to be happy with someone else. I purposefully wanted to make him miserable. I am evil.

Wow, thats very similar to my situation but I didn't get caught. I do think I'm evil for it too especially since I honestly find some of the things I did kind of funny. He wouldn't agree I'm sure lol. I was a kind person before him, he unlocked a part of me I didn't even know existed. So I definitely relate.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't think, I know.

 

[Aboutblue]

I stalked and harassed the only man I've ever had romantic feelings for. To the point where I was arrested and am under investigation. I did so many awful things to him because I refused to allow him to be happy with someone else. I purposefully wanted to make him miserable. I am evil.

Well I can't leave my ex alone and keep calling and emailing. For an entire. Fucking. Year. Every two weeks like clockwork then every two months and then this past week I lost my marbles completely and was calling her every other day to leave a crying voicemail. It may not be evil but it sure is fucked up. And at least a little evil if you look at the fact that she just wants to be left alone.

My sister says actions don't define us. I'm not so sure but labeling yourself as evil probably doesn't help. You may have done wrong things. Me too. But moving forward we can try to be better.

I think if you were really evil you wouldn't question it.

 

[jackodonnell]

What was so great about him that no other man could compare?

He is the most kind, caring, passionate, generous person I have ever met. He has dedicated his life to making people's lives better. He is so passionate and fights for people who often don't have a voice. He is also gorgeous and funny and interesting. I think he's perfect. I don't think he has any flaws.

 

[come to dust]

He is the most kind, caring, passionate, generous person I have ever met. He has dedicated his life to making people's lives better. He is so passionate and fights for people who often don't have a voice. He is also gorgeous and funny and interesting. I think he's perfect. I don't think he has any flaws.

I'm not convinced that there is any one superior being like this out there. Everyone has flaws.

Anyway, there are plenty of kind passionate people out there. I'm sure whatever physical looks you liked in him are also shared by other people.

 

[mykitsune]

evil isn't real

just giving into sin (as definied by religion) is a lot easier then being virtuous. everyone does it to some extent.

 

[Shu]

Ive become evil... well.. have a heavy heart that is..

 

[CTBgenuine]

There's a difference between DOING evil things and LOVING TO DO evil things. You've said you've loved every moment of it, so this suggests you're either a sadist or you have antisocial personality disorder aka psychopathic

 

[Kestrel]

Very.

I get horrific intrusive thoughts that plague me; I know people say we are helpless to such thoughts but I think for me they reveal my true nature.

My girlfriend selfharmed because of me being suicidal. I broke up with her to save her anymore pain when she told me, I felt terrible. I hurt her so much the only good thing in my life.

My preoccupation with being ugly makes me envious, self-centred and fragile. I waste time researching plastic surgery and insulting myself in the mirror when I could be helping people or meditating.

It's not suicide it's an execution I owe the world.

 

[Hirokami]

I think I've done some things that I genuinely regret, things I can't take back. Though, I don't think I'm evil as they were never done out of pure malice. Rather, most of the shitty things I've done were either done due to a lack of foresight or my autistic logic of trying to justify my actions. That being said, I still feel like I'm irredeemable as I'm mentally broken. I don't know if I could ever be like other people and I'm scared of myself because of that. It sometimes feels like I'm just a really bad day away from being a bull in a china shop.

 

[Symbiote]

I'm a bad person and did bad things, but I don't think i'm evil. My opinion of evil is pre-meditated and pro-revenge. Though I may have had thoughts of doing evil things, none of them came to fruition. They were merely just machinations of a disturbed mind in the throes of mental illness.

 

[September5th]

I can be evil some times. I mean, life isn't unfair or anything. I'm literally just harvesting what I plant.

 

[AloneInCollege]

I don't know if I'm evil. Undoubtedly an awful person, but not quite evil. But I guess there might still be time to cross that threshold.

 

[Slimetae]

Ehh more like cold and unfeeling bc of life I don't go outta my way to hurt people at least not anymore I was a pretty bad child tho .

 

[EvilStepSister]

Not evil, just Bad and justly deserving of everything bad that comes my way.

 

[Zzzzz]

Absolutely not. The average person is no better than I am.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I can definitely can relate to that.

Sometimes I have the most horrible thoughts. I hurt others to get what I need and then convince myself that it is the only way. But it is not. It's the easy way.

Exactly

 

[Orange010]

I wouldn't called myself "evil", but I won't deny I've hurt people by my action, or inaction. I hope they won't care when I deservingly die

 

[GoForDeath]

I'm so disgusted with myself. I used to be a nice, moral person. But the past few months the way I think and see the world has become so warped. I did so many wrong and evil things, totally convinced that I had no other choice. I've completely lost who I used to be. I can never go back. I can never be the person that I was and I don't think I can ever be a good person again. And I still hurt people all the time. I think I've lost my mind. CTB is the only way I can redeem myself and even then I don't think it will be enough.

I am probably not evil, tho I've done some horrible things while I was under psychosis, at least I haven't hurt anyone