Does anyone else here self harm?

[ghostunderthelight]

I guess I just want to know how many of us are also on here. I find talking to other self-harmers relaxing in a way.

I also want to know your opinions on self-harm. I've never really understood why it's so bad. It's not hurting anyone else, and, for the past four years, it has held me back from ctb, which is the "ultimate evil" in pro-lifers' eyes. I know that it can end up being life-threatening, but most people don't cut that deep.

Due to my parents, I have to hide all my cuts. This makes it so that I've started cutting much, much deeper in order to make my scars easier to hide. If they didn't make me afraid of their reaction, I would stay with lighter cuts.

I just don't understand why there's such a stigma against cutting, especially as a coping mechanism, if it isn't threatening your life or the lives of others.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

*raises hands* though I'm not actively doing it anymore due to awkward questions. That said, nobody has yet to answer my question "Why is it ok for others to hurt me, but not ok for me to hurt myself?" My first psych tried to convince me not to perpetuate the cycle of having myself being hurt, but I fail to see her point in this issue.

 

[tieiwi]

I do but I hit myself. I'm too scared to do anything else. I think the stigma around self harm is truly because it makes people uncomfortable. Seeing someone's cuts means that they harm themselves purposely and to some people they can't understand why they would do that. It's a scary thing to imagine for them maybe. I know it makes me uncomfortable seeing friends or people I know having self harm scars because I know what they did to get them. It doesn't make me feel so nice. I guess some people who are happy with their lives and are content can't process why someone would want to self harm. Just like how some of us can't process how some people can keep living their life and be happy. But I do believe that it's because it makes people uncomfortable which is why self harm is so stigmatized. I understand feeling uncomfortable can be one thing but I think it's wrong to shame people who do self harm. Like you wrote in your post it's not harming anyone else.

 

[icetea15]

Feel you my brother. I've never understood why self-harm is socially unacceptable if mental ill people do it. I put no one in danger but myself. As long as you're aware of your choice and can live with the scars, there's no reason to socially ostracize someone for it.

 

[CommitSudoku]

How do you find talking to other self-harmers relaxing?

I'm mixed on self harm. I don't think it deserves the reputation it has. To me it's a valid way of coping and I try not to come off wrong about it. But in the past two notable people to me have self harmed and I knew about it. Both had considered suicide in the past but weren't actively and had somewhat decided to live as far as I was aware. Knowing that they wanted something from life but it still hurt them so much that it made them hurt themselves, that hurt me. And I believe both wanted to move on from that way of coping. Knowing I couldn't do anything physically was hard, since I knew how much they were hurting and they didn't want to hurt themselves but it was just how they had learned to cope. I don't think it's the most healthy way to cope. Effective, but not really healthy. It became something hard for them to overcome and watching someone you care about struggle or fall apart hurts you. So I can understand people don't want to see us bleeding or know we cut. It's basically saying we're in so much pain and cannot do anything else and most people who haven't been there before wouldn't really know how to deal with it. Even those who have don't really.

Our pain can cause others' pain, even if it's just mental. We know how bad mental pain is as well. I've stopped feeling as much from cutting sometimes so I don't do it as much now. It's become empty like a lot of things. In the past it definitely helped so I try not to deny anyone the option or come off poorly about it, but it can still be hard knowing you can't do anything but watch someone you care about hurt themselves so their pain extends in a new direction.

 

[myopybyproxy]

yes, in various ways and degrees

i wouldn't feel comfortable advising anyone how to self harm worse, how to cut deeper etc - that is something you figure out with time - as they say, practise makes progress

it's different to suicide methods because incorrect information about suicide can leave you a paralysed or brain dead, unable to fend for yourself or get it right the next time - which is worse than death in my opinion. whereas information about how to 'properly' self harm can also leave you a cripple or in even more chronic pain - eg necrosis from severe burns, severing nerves in the limbs. also there is no option to 'practise' with suicide - either you get it right or you don't, and if you don't, the result can be disastrous

whether it is acceptable to share information depends on how bad will be the outcome of how that knowledge is utilised

 

[BorntoLose]

Not so much anymore, but my forearm is covered with scars from when I was younger. Always was a bit of a coping mechanism but over time I just became more and more numb to it. I used to feel some slight form of relief at least, wish that was still the case tbh.

 

[TMGS]

I stopped doing it for someone else, but I still have a lot of scars from it. I don't want to come off as abusive or manipulative because I do cut to relieve my pain, and I know that's not healthy in a relationship.

Most of my issues come from relationships, I tend to go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship and it's making me a very toxic person because I never even considered self-harm until my mid 20's.

I won't lie, not cutting is really making me feel hopeless, especially in the current relationship I'm in. I already ordered some things for my exit. I used to lurk this forum a bit, and it's nice to be able to express and see that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

Occasionally. Less than 20 times from 2013 to now. Usually a shaving razor (if impulsive) or Exacto knife blade (if plotting) on the upper thighs, sternum and up against my bra strap. I need places that can be concealed during pole dance class (sports bra and short shorts), but usually throw in a cut in a visible location for good measure. Nice to look at.

 

[Starrywaters]

I think most people "self harm" in the sense that people self medicate with things that are harmful in large qtys. For example alcohol.

While we might think of self harm as physical wounds inflicted on one's self I would consider myself somebody who indulges in self harm type behaviours that are detrimental to my wellbeing, mind and body but may not be a physical wound type of self harm.

Just my thoughts anyway, either way, it's sadly terribly common for people to self harm in some manner.

 

[Treeline589]

I had self harmed in the past, stopped for about 4 years, but as of Tuesday have started again

 

[TakeMeBack07]

I do because i feel incredibly euphoric when i self harm. I like punishing myself. It's as if I'm teaming up with the rest of the world on myself and this gives me immense gratification. IDK why it does. Maybe acceptance with a group? idk.
because damn, i give up being on this lonely road.

 

[Notemia]

I think self harm as it's perceived is stigmatized because it's associated with mental illness and some methods look scarier than they actually are. For example constantly cutting yourself to a certain safe depth is orders of magnitude less harmful than alcohol abuse, which normal people don't view with as much fear and disgust. The only issue is not always doing it the same way or trying to keep going further, but if that's the criteria then you can kill yourself with pretty much every "socially acceptable" self harm method that doesn't get labelled as self harm.

 

[SuicidalManiac]

I

I guess I just want to know how many of us are also on here. I find talking to other self-harmers relaxing in a way.

I also want to know your opinions on self-harm. I've never really understood why it's so bad. It's not hurting anyone else, and, for the past four years, it has held me back from ctb, which is the "ultimate evil" in pro-lifers' eyes. I know that it can end up being life-threatening, but most people don't cut that deep.

Due to my parents, I have to hide all my cuts. This makes it so that I've started cutting much, much deeper in order to make my scars easier to hide. If they didn't make me afraid of their reaction, I would stay with lighter cuts.

I just don't understand why there's such a stigma against cutting, especially as a coping mechanism, if it isn't threatening your life or the lives of others.

I know like the reason i cut myself is so that other people wont be able to hurt me anyways like I hurt myself you think you can hurt me bitch and also cauz it kinda gives me confidence and calms my mind down a bit...

 

[EmptyFields]

Hear, hear, and I feel that struggle of having to hide the cuts, too. I said in another thread, I consider it nothing more than a matter of bodily autonomy. Someone I know once caught a scar on my hand and figured out what it was. I justified it as a coping mechanism, and asked "who is it hurting?" She silently extended a single finger at me, as if to point. I rolled my eyes and thought, "did you feel really cool when you did that?"

 

[TJuk]

I had self harmed in the past, stopped for about 4 years, but as of Tuesday have started again

Doesn't make you less of a person to have started again. It's difficult to stop and 4 years is good.

But also going a few days or even hours without is also good to achieve. It's ok to have a slip up

 

[stupid little girl]

Hello, I self-harm too. My opinion on self-harm is that I wish I wouldn't have ever done it, but oh well. However, I am fine with having done it all these years. I don't know exactly why or how, but I've come to find comfort in cutting myself. Now, this isn't always the case. I still self-harm as a form of self-punishment or to relieve myself of physical pain. I think there's a stigma around it because it's unnatural to an extent. For instance, the usual human instinct is to avoid pain and so for someone to cause direct pain to themselves it's just odd and hard to grasp. Oh, but I forgot about this. Can we talk about emotional/mental self-harm? Because that gives me a whole new type of high. Saying/reading things that will physically make my heart hurt is top-tier self-harm for me.

 

[shadowchaser]

Yes. I haven't gone more than a month without since I started and right now it's a few times a week. I also don't understand why it's "bad", even though I probably should - I have nerve damage in several places, scars that limit mobility, have had way too many sutures/staples. Aside from the physical consequences, one argument I've heard against self harm is that it doesn't fix the problem, if that perspective helps at all.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I started when I was 15 and haven't stopped since 25 now, not so much now tho due to my relationship, but I think about it constantly and have cut over small scratches from the cats to hold over the urge.

 

[loststar]

I do, the initial pain anf helps me focus and to stop hyper fixating on things. Pluss it gives me s bit of a buzz after. Like smoking after waiting all day

 

[FogFilledLife]

Only smack myself. No reason to weaken my arms or legs.

 

[thereisthemist]

I used to cut but these days I only have time to just poking with knifes lmao
that way there's no obvious wound and can be done multiple times on a same spot

 

[Weebster]

No. I've never understood risking a staph infection

 

[Achlys]

Almost never. I don't like pain. I did try it once when I was younger in part to see what the fuss was about, though. I dug my nails in and ripped the skin up my arm. I got some unwanted attention from that.

If there's any physical pain I inflict upon myself, it'll be if/when I ctb.

 

[caughtinthelabrinth]

Almost never. I don't like pain. I did try it once when I was younger in part to see what the fuss was about, though. I dug my nails in and ripped the skin up my arm. I got some unwanted attention from that.

If there's any physical pain I inflict upon myself, it'll be if/when I ctb.

i feel this i used to cut myself with knifes when I needed a small amount of peace now I'm back to self harming but my arm is covered with dried nail marks

 

[BrokenLine]

Yes, i have a lot when younger. And less often over the years.