Discussion Does anyone else have romanticised suicide fantasies?

[friendlychinchilla]

I have found comfort in the idea of suicide for quite some time now and fantasies of how it would take place, how it would feel, where it would be, who would be there with me etc..

I've had this idea of renting a nice Airbnb somewhere in Europe, preferably in a beautiful location with other people/ another person. I would wish to find solace and connection with others in my last moments.

and then going to a woods. We could talk, possibly experiment with substances because fuck it hardly matters at this point in time or do whatever we felt like in that moment, fulfil any last desires we may have and when we feel ready take SN or maybe some other method.

or possibly we could find a scenic cliff and jump together hand in hand.

Does anyone else have frequent fantasies such as those? I would love to hear them if you feel comfortable sharing.

(Also I'm still looking for a particular to leave this world with so if anyone in Europe is interested please let me know!) :)

 

[Circles]

Yes but like all things in my life i know it'll be disappointing even if it was achievable. Romanticizing anything is just setting atleast for myself up for failure.

 

[friendlychinchilla]

Yes but like all things in my life i know it'll be disappointing even if it was achievable. Romanticizing anything is just setting atleast for myself up for failure.

I understand how you feel but I still cling to these fantasies as they give me comfort and a foolish sense of hope that at least my parting can be peaceful.. Even if it can't possibly live up to my expectations that's okay because it's still my ticket out of a needlessly prolonged and painful life

 

[1lastchance]

I think about it quite often but I don't find comfort in it because it both scares me to die but I'm too scared to live too. With my current situation in life I can't seem to make any choices that benefit me. I'm a waste of space and a waste of resources for others in life. And everyone I encountered so far in my life has more or less let me know it in some form or fashion. Usually passive aggressively. The world loves to be passive aggressive to people. It's the most diabolical form of mental abuse.

but yes I think of different ways that could end it all. I just wish I had the courage to walk down ANY path with my head held high. But my head hangs low. My eyes at my feet and stay stuck at the fork in the road without knowing where I'm going or how to cope with what is coming ahead. All I know is that all I see is negativity and darkness. I struggle to find His light. I struggle everyday that I breath. I feel horrible and hopeless every day and no one wants to be around that kind of person. But I feel like making a change will only result in making things worse, or no better than where I'm at now. So I stay stuck. Lost in my mind and my books. Searching for the cure all and trying to muster what little effort I can just to go into work and get paid. Luckily we still wear masks because no one wants to see my depression on my face everyday. And no one can hear or know my thoughts scraping and scratching away at my insides, slowly eroding away what's left of me.

 

[Shadowplay]

I have found comfort in the idea of suicide for quite some time now and fantasies of how it would take place, how it would feel, where it would be, who would be there with me etc..

I've had this idea of renting a nice Airbnb somewhere in Europe, preferably in a beautiful location with other people/ another person. I would wish to find solace and connection with others in my last moments.

and then going to a woods. We could talk, possibly experiment with substances because fuck it hardly matters at this point in time or do whatever we felt like in that moment, fulfil any last desires we may have and when we feel ready take SN or maybe some other method.

or possibly we could find a scenic cliff and jump together hand in hand.

Does anyone else have frequent fantasies such as those? I would love to hear them if you feel comfortable sharing.

(Also I'm still looking for a particular to leave this world with so if anyone in Europe is interested please let me know!) :)

Nah I feel ya. My ideal is to CTB spooning with someone else; I'd love to have that connection in death I never had in life. I joked about hiring a sex worker for the night and taking N. without telling them, but would traumatise them obviously so not really gunna do it. There is a website where you can pay people to hug you so you could do that, but wouldn't want to traumatise them.

As for jumping reminds me of this lyric from The Decemberists

& While the seagulls are crying
We fall, but our souls are flying

 

[Pluto]

I understand how you feel but I still cling to these fantasies as they give me comfort and a foolish sense of hope that at least my parting can be peaceful.. Even if it can't possibly live up to my expectations that's okay because it's still my ticket out of a needlessly prolonged and painful life

Please just be aware that there are some extremely dangerous people who could take advantage of you. None of my own romanticised fantasies about anything have worked out very well.

I think in my own case, I'll make a final post here and have this community with me as I go. I wouldn't feel alone in spirit.

 

[friendlychinchilla]

Nah I feel ya. My ideal is to CTB spooning with someone else; I'd love to have that connection in death I never had in life. I joked about hiring a sex worker for the night and taking N. without telling them, but would traumatise them obviously so not really gunna do it. There is a website where you can pay people to hug you so you could do that, but wouldn't want to traumatise them.

As for jumping reminds me of this lyric from The Decemberists

& While the seagulls are crying
We fall, but our souls are flying

That sounds like a nice way to go :)
I would like something similar

I agree it's probably not the best to cause trauma for a sex worker. There's enough trauma in this world and it's good you're courteous enough to be considerate, some people aren't. Where are you located out of curiosity? Just general location.

Please just be aware that there are some extremely dangerous people who could take advantage of you. None of my own romanticised fantasies about anything have worked out very well.

I think in my own case, I'll make a final post here and have this community with me as I go. I wouldn't feel alone in spirit.

How did they go for you? I'll try and take precautions but my wish to leave is so strong I can't help but to act with a certain degree of recklessness. Hell at least being murdered isn't a strong concern XD

 

[Shadowplay]

That sounds like a nice way to go :)
I would like something similar

I agree it's probably not the best to cause trauma for a sex worker. There's enough trauma in this world and it's good you're courteous enough to be considerate, some people aren't. Where are you located out of curiosity? Just general location.

Yeah I would never do that; just a fantasy. I did even quasi-seriously consider Craiglist; not sure if people use it in Australia. Advertise on there honestly about what I want - no way that could go wrong. lol. Though that is an intriguing idea for a movie or shor film perhaps.

In Melbourne, Australia.

 

[friendlychinchilla]

Yeah I would never do that; just a fantasy. I did even quasi-seriously consider Craiglist; not sure if people use it in Australia. Advertise on there honestly about what I want - no way that could go wrong. lol. Though that is an intriguing idea for a movie or shor film perhaps.

In Melbourne, Australia.

Maybe hit me up if you're in Europe haha That sounds lovely :)
It truly would be an enthralling concept for a movie. At least I would definitely watch a movie like that if it existed.

 

[シルエット]

I actually thought about jumping with the person I loved the most like in the music video of racing into the night, A very upbeat sounding Japanese song that is actually really depressing, But me fantasizing only makes me feel worse knowing I wont ever get to achieve that. Afterall, she hates me like she hates everyone else.

 

[Nolen]

Somewhat, what I would find intriguing is to meet up with a group of people determined to ctb and renting a remote cabin for the weekend. We could grill together, watch a movie, everyone can tell their story by the fire, just having a fun time and then on the last day leave this place indefinitely. Like cabin fever but with less blood, though probably the same amount of death.

 

[シルエット]

Somewhat, what I would find intriguing is to meet up with a group of people determined to ctb and renting a remote cabin for the weekend. We could grill together, watch a movie, everyone can tell their story by the fire, just having a fun time and then on the last day leave this place indefinitely. Like cabin fever but with less blood, though probably the same amount of death.

That actually sounds pretty amazing

 

[friendlychinchilla]

That actually sounds pretty amazing

It really does

 

[Nolen]

That actually sounds pretty amazing

In theory I guess but I'm not sure how it would play out and the logistics would be a nightmare haha. That being said I read cases of more than two people ctbing together but those where mostly close friends or family members and not complete strangers.

 

[friendlychinchilla]

In theory I guess but I'm not sure how it would play out and the logistics would be a nightmare haha. That being said I read cases of more than two people ctbing together but those where mostly close friends or family members and not complete strangers.

I like to think it's doable :) I'm going to try at least

 

[Nolen]

I like to think it's doable :) I'm going to try at least

Good luck and keep me updated on your progress. :D

 

[シルエット]

Good luck and keep me updated on your progress. :D

Me too, good luck

 

[friendlychinchilla]

Me too, good luck

Will do :)

 

[Shadowplay]

Maybe hit me up if you're in Europe haha That sounds lovely :)
It truly would be an enthralling concept for a movie. At least I would definitely watch a movie like that if it existed.

I often have movie ideas, as well having movies I would like to remake. What country in Europe? Been to Europe once not easy to get to from Australia obviously.

'Jump Tomorrow' and 'Leaving Las Vegas' are good CTB movies.

 

[Mr2005]

It becomes a reason to live for some people. I bet they use dark theme

 

[friendlychinchilla]

I often have movie ideas, as well having movies I would like to remake. What country in Europe? Been to Europe once not easy to get to from Australia obviously.

'Jump Tomorrow' and 'Leaving Las Vegas' are good CTB movies.

I was looking for something to watch recently. I'll give them a go

I live in Ireland currently but I am considering travelling. Somewhere within Europe or the uk would be more doable for me personally.

I understand it would be awesome if you could join me tho :) Feel free to message me at anytime if you want to explore the possibility or for any other reason for that matter.

 

[Shadowplay]

That actually sounds pretty amazing

Again make an interesting movie. No doubt we'd be called a suicide cult or something. But it is strangely wholesome = we're all in the same boat so we support and understand each other.

I was looking for something to watch recently. I'll give them a go

I live in Ireland currently but I am considering travelling. Somewhere within Europe or the uk would be more doable for me personally.

I understand it would be awesome if you could join me tho :) Feel free to message me at anytime if you want to explore the possibility or for any other reason for that matter.

Ha - chatting with an Irish person on here. What is it with you guys? :-P I'm about to rewatch 'Leaving Las Vegas' haven't seen it in about 9 years, but I remember it being quite moving. 'Jump Tomorrow' might be harder to acquire. :-(

 

[Pluto]

I'll try and take precautions but my wish to leave is so strong I can't help but to act with a certain degree of recklessness. Hell at least being murdered isn't a strong concern XD

This is what I am talking about. I think the events happened in Ireland.

Scot accused of trying to murder two women he 'met on assisted suicide website'

A GLASGOW man is accused of trying to kill two women he allegedly offered to help on an assisted suicide website. Craig McInally, 29, is accused of messaging the vulnerable women online between May…

www.thescottishsun.co.uk

Having said that, I have become increasingly reckless as well so it's a case of 'do as I say, not as I do.' haha

 

[Lady black]

Yes I also have this imaganition. Finding a nice girl, spending a nice time with walks, fun and becoming best friends. Then going to a nice place, preparing our nooses, wearing partnerlook, one last hug and falling hand in hand in our nooses dying together never feeling alone. Then get together to heaven or becoming ghosts and helping lonely and sad people becoming better and haunting rapists bullies and bad people

 

[fultron12]

Yup, all the time, I have a place and method picked already. A cozy wooded area with tons of privacy, and I'm gonna do partial suspension with a lot of benadryl and alcohol. I've already written my suicide note, put it on my computer and my phone.

In my note I explicitly state that this is the way I CHOSE to go, with dignity, and that I wasn't desperate or wanting revenge. That way hopefully my family can make peace faster.

I imagine in the coming days, I'm gonna feel that "feeling " I get, have a nice day with my family and sneak out to the spot around midnight

 

[FuneralCry]

I want to die alone, far away from other people. I cannot stand people. My ideal situation would be to take N in a forest or even better fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

I do fantasize about it from time to time. I don't really care about guy or girl or even a robot, just having someone there with the same idea; no need for facades, no need for lies for both will ctb soon.

It is certainly, for me, an ideal scenario. But is just that, a fantasy.

Wish everyone the best of luck.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Somewhat, what I would find intriguing is to meet up with a group of people determined to ctb and renting a remote cabin for the weekend. We could grill together, watch a movie, everyone can tell their story by the fire, just having a fun time and then on the last day leave this place indefinitely. Like cabin fever but with less blood, though probably the same amount of death.

Brilliant....

 

[LDARbeforeROPE]

No, death and return to dust

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I was constantly emotionally abused by my family while growing up. Grades in school were a common pretext for the abuse.

So, I fantasized about hiding a knife in my pocket, showing my parents my report card, and stabbing myself in the heart while they scream at me about my grades. If Google Glass and SS existed at the time, I'd record their faces showing a weird combination of fear, guilt, and anger, and upload it to here for people to gawk at. Then after death, my ghost in Hell would watch the videos over and over again, snickering at what my family has to live with for the rest of their lives, while I swim in the Hellish Lake of Fire, feeling no pain; after all, my pain receptors are left behind with my corpse, and my soul can't feel pain from the fire.