Discussion Does anyone else have a fear of dying but you also doesn't want to live?

[distorted network]

What I mean by this is that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now. As well as how my family would react to me being gone.

But on the other hand, I really fucking hate it here. I hate how I can't do anything meaningful or productive during the day and waste all of it on social media and doing unimportant things. I do nothing I don't have hobbies, friends that actually give a shit about me, good grades. I'm just a fuck up. And I don't think anything is really going to change that.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

 

[Don’tfallin]

Sorry you feel like this. I get it though.

For me, I'm sad that I know that I have to die. I wish I didn't but it's just the way things worked out for me.

 

[R_N]

It is common and normal to feel that. You want to escape pain first and foremost, and more often than not death seems like the perfect solution, complete end to it. The only issue is we are wired for survival more or less.

 

[DreamEnd]

What I mean by this is that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now. As well as how my family would react to me being gone.

But on the other hand, I really fucking hate it here. I hate how I can't do anything meaningful or productive during the day and waste all of it on social media and doing unimportant things. I do nothing I don't have hobbies, friends that actually give a shit about me, good grades. I'm just a fuck up. And I don't think anything is really going to change that.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

Yes I'm not religious but have a feeling I'm gonna regret it afterwards. Even though I probably won't have the capacity to analyse my actions I still am worried

 

[sserafim]

Yes I'm not religious but have a feeling I'm gonna regret it afterwards. Even though I probably won't have the capacity to analyse my actions I still am worried

Wdym? Like get reincarnated into a worse life or something?

 

[DreamEnd]

Wdym? Like get reincarnated into a worse life or something?

No idea I have read so much about ndes. I read that it's possible you will feel what your family feels after you died. But then once you go through that it's alright. Idk what to believe it's making me mad.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I'm 99.9% sure there is nothing after death. I'm more scared of dying than death itself, although eternal nothingness is a scary concept for sure. It's mostly the idea of my family grieving me that stops me. On the whole feeling like a fuck up and not wanting to be alive thing, I definitely know how that feels.

 

[dragonofenvy]

that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now.

I think that tons of people on this forum feel this way. Hence why they're still here. I try to tell myself that it'll be like just when I didn't exist for the past few billions of years. Those billions of years passed by very quickly didn't they? If you close your eyes and count to three, that's how long eternity is going to feel like.

If the religious people are right and there's a hell. Well, I'm already in hell. Sadly, we're hardcoded for survival. Death is surprisingly quite difficult once you begin putting your mind to it. That's probably why we feel the way you're feeling.

 

[DreamEnd]

I think that tons of people on this forum feel this way. Hence why they're still here. I try to tell myself that it'll be like just when I didn't exist for the past few billions of years. Those billions of years passed by very quickly didn't they? If you close your eyes and count to three, that's how long eternity is going to feel like.

If the religious people are right and there's a hell. Well, I'm already in hell. Sadly, we're hardcoded for survival. Death is surprisingly quite difficult once you begin putting your mind to it. That's probably why we feel the way you're feeling.

I used to think that too but I honestly don't remember what I experienced when I was two. So how would I remember what I experienced before I was born idk

 

[tuey32]

I haven't thought much about it tbh. There's literally no way of knowing and we're all gonna die eventually so I don't see much point ig.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not afraid of death as I believe that death is the most peaceful thing that can happen to a human. What I am afraid of is dying and the pain that will come from a suicide attempt. I have no attachment to living and I never did

 

[Macc_Lad_71]

What I mean by this is that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now. As well as how my family would react to me being gone.

But on the other hand, I really fucking hate it here. I hate how I can't do anything meaningful or productive during the day and waste all of it on social media and doing unimportant things. I do nothing I don't have hobbies, friends that actually give a shit about me, good grades. I'm just a fuck up. And I don't think anything is really going to change that.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

please don't fear death......it's beautiful. please try and wait until your time is called though.

 

[tbroken]

I'm not afraid of death, but I don't find this great will to live either. And it is mainly due to society: it is chaotic, not so well ruled and if i have to loose or to die, i prefer to decide by myself when and how.

 

[xmissellax]

I'm afraid of the dying process. Especially from illnesses in older age like cancer etc. as I have a lot second hand experience with it from family members suffering with it.

I'm not afraid of death. I am sad about it though as someone else said in this forum. I'm sad that I feel like I need to die and that I have suffered so much in life. I wish it didn't have to be like this and I could be like most others who are able to enjoy life for the most part and be content with passing however they are meant to pass.

But could never be me. I never imagined making it into my 20s let alone 40s, 50s or 60s. That would be pure torture in my brain. I think I was always going to go by my own hand no matter when that was going to be.

I have a very hard wired and fearful need of never feeling out of control, including in my own death.

 

[Z-A]

I just want the suffering to stop. Only CTB will put an end to that unfortunately. I'm only fearing the death process, the terror and pain that comes with it. I don't believe in afterlife, reincarnation, eternal nothingness or anything that comes after.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

What I mean by this is that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now. As well as how my family would react to me being gone.

But on the other hand, I really fucking hate it here. I hate how I can't do anything meaningful or productive during the day and waste all of it on social media and doing unimportant things. I do nothing I don't have hobbies, friends that actually give a shit about me, good grades. I'm just a fuck up. And I don't think anything is really going to change that.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

Just my two cents : I want to say I'm not afraid, but it appears unavoidable. A point where you see just how fragile life is, how even your most rigid, powerful beliefs, stability can be tested to the maximum, until its either broken beyond repair or changed into a state of dynamism unlike any other. I'm not afraid of death as an event either, because I know its gonna happen sooner or later and when it does, I embrace it. But it's like being at the edge of a cliff, or standing on shaky ground, never know what it's gonna give way to. Is it just endless freefall? Is it gonna be quick and painless or slow and agonizing? How is it gonna feel, what am I going to see? More questions than answers. Sometimes, all I want is to disappear, vanish into the hellishly comforting womb of darkness I come from, with the depths of my brain echoing "memento mori". Other times, I'm scared of its cold, unforgiving touch, when it gets close enough to make you feel just how heavy it really is. Everything blurs, becomes hazy, stops making sense, all I can think of instinctually is "NO". But then that's just it - it doesn't matter what I say or think about at that point because its happening and there's nothing I can do about it. Fear and calm become one, feelings merge and diverge, memories, ghosts, faces, scenes I never thought I'd see again. No amount of preparation can be enough to face it, yet that's all we're wired to do when we're alive, to be able to somehow give meaning to death through life, whereas its the opposite - our certain death gives meaning to our time here - that keeps us going. Maybe we'll never really figure it out, being human. Maybe we don't have to; we make of it as we choose.

 

[hopeless08]

What I mean by this is that I'm afraid of what will happen after death, if it'll be worse than what I'm going through now. As well as how my family would react to me being gone.

But on the other hand, I really fucking hate it here. I hate how I can't do anything meaningful or productive during the day and waste all of it on social media and doing unimportant things. I do nothing I don't have hobbies, friends that actually give a shit about me, good grades. I'm just a fuck up. And I don't think anything is really going to change that.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

I have that feeling as well I know I have to die since there is no other solution to end my pain. I don't want to die, obviously I wish I could be happy and to be free of pain but reality is cruel. Im also afraid of dying and of the impact it's going to have on my loved ones, I don't think they would be able to survive the pain of loosing me and it makes me feel so selfish but at the same time I can't bear being alive and enduring hell.
So I get you, I'm sorry for your pain and hope we find peace.