Does anyone else get scared when they think about ctb?

[Samuel]

Death is all I think about anymore.

 

[Karenbaker]

Death is all I think about anymore.

I think if you don't fear death your not a rational person - everyone perhaps fears death because for me two things, fear of the unknown although I suspect death is pretty much like being under during an operation in a hospital you have zero knowledge of anything ... and fear of the pain your going to leave behind with other family members

 

[Samuel]

I fear the unknown.

 

[bygone]

Fear is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I have everything I need to be able to end it. Every day I hope today will be the day I overcome my fear and end it. I've spent the whole morning just trying to psyche myself up to be able to do it.

 

[Samuel]

Fear is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I have everything I need to be able to end it. Every day I hope today will be the day I overcome my fear and end it. I've spent the whole morning just trying to psyche myself up to be able to do it.

What's your method?

 

[bygone]

What's your method?

N

 

[wanttodie]

me to samuel Death is all I think about anymore.

 

[angie]

Fear is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I have everything I need to be able to end it. Every day I hope today will be the day I overcome my fear and end it. I've spent the whole morning just trying to psyche myself up to be able to do it.

i know the feeling im scared too ,wish i could just get over it like others have

 

[millefeui]

I am way past being scared. Whatever comes after death doesn't scare me anymore and the act of dying in itself is nothing to be feared.

 

[Tiburcio]

Not exactly. I want to escape life but ever I try it something pushes me back. I can't override it and it's very fucked.

 

[bag.of.cats]

No, I get very sad, because I wish my life was more than this, but because of circumstances that are out of my control, I have no choice.

 

[Tomasnil]

Scared yes ..... but im more scared of failing or living.

 

[angie]

if i was sure i wouldnt fail id go ahead but i worry sooo much about the amount anti emetics to take ?
will they make meill n prevent me taking the N ?
will the N be so awfull i wont be able to drink it ? all these things r my dilemma ,sure its same for others if i knew it would be ok i wouldnt hesitate , i just cant think of another way apart from hanging and i probably would get it wrong ,least u dont need to worry about anti emetics or horrible taste stuff lol

 

[Deleted member 847]

Inhibited yes, scared no.

 

[angie]

if anti emetics affected me badly id be rushed into hospital then probably a nut house lol

 

[angie]

has anyone ever taken 60mg anti emetics in one stat dose .thats what ppeh niscke recommends

 

[musicislife]

if i was sure i wouldnt fail id go ahead but i worry sooo much about the amount anti emetics to take ?
will they make meill n prevent me taking the N ?
will the N be so awfull i wont be able to drink it ? all these things r my dilemma ,sure its same for others if i knew it would be ok i wouldnt hesitate , i just cant think of another way apart from hanging and i probably would get it wrong ,least u dont need to worry about anti emetics or horrible taste stuff lol

That's what terrifies me about the stuff it's a hell of a lot if money to throw down the drain if it's simply undrinkable !! Keep reading it tastes like rotten milk I mean c'mon really ??? Do a taste test let some milk go warm and off date and take a sniff if you can drink that you can drink N sadly I'm too weak

 

[RainAndSadness]

No. I'm kinda excited to finally escape all that suffer. All the pain and struggle will be gone. And knowing I'll have a peaceful and painless death with N really takes away all fear from leaving this world forever.

 

[Decker]

if i was sure i wouldnt fail id go ahead but i worry sooo much about the amount anti emetics to take ?
will they make meill n prevent me taking the N ?
will the N be so awfull i wont be able to drink it ? all these things r my dilemma ,sure its same for others if i knew it would be ok i wouldnt hesitate , i just cant think of another way apart from hanging and i probably would get it wrong ,least u dont need to worry about anti emetics or horrible taste stuff lol

 

[Decker]

Do u have the N?

 

[VanHeineken]

Our brains are hardwired with the survival Instinct. Overcoming the fear can be a hard fight. But I am very committed. This life is shit!

 

[wanttodie]

Scared yes ..... but im more scared of failing or living.

yes me to im more scared of failing then living.

 

[Erik]

Definitely. Not knowing what's gonna happen afterwards is one of the main reasons I'm still alive.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

As other here have already said, fear alone is keeping me around. Hope died quite a while ago. No friends. No relatives. No community. Work online--and I'm not needed there, just a laborer. When my cash runs out, though, ctb will be far, far, far more appealing a choice than homelessness.

My fantasy is for a state to start allowing us to just walk into a clean, compassionate, welcoming clinic to have it all painlessly taken care of. I wouldn't even mind being pre-wrapped in plastic.

 

[Imaginos]

No. Quite the opposite, really. Thinking about suicide/death can be really quite comforting. Truth be told, it's one of my favorite (if only) past times at this point. Actually doing it, however. That's a different story. In the moment, right as I'm about to take the last step. That's where my fear would strangle me into submission. I'm too weak & lazy to even get that far, frankly. Taking it all in is more depressing than anything else. As I sit here I'd say I'm more scared of how much worse life is going to get for me as I continue to age & decay, squatting in the ruins of my dark corner, rotting away on a fucking worthless rock that I wish with all my being could just disappear forever. What can someone like me do in the face of all this? What?

 

[Definitelyworried]

Yes I get very scared. But why do I keep thinking about it. Must be something even more scary that leads me to that thought.