M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,442
Dying peacefully in my sleep is probably my biggest wish. Most people aren't lucky enough to have this happen to them death always seems to involve some sort of pain or discomfort.
 
T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Nope. On the contrary, I wish I died in my sleep. Everytime I go to sleep I wish that.
 
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B

bpdandme

Experienced
Feb 3, 2020
239
In between being awake and sleeping I usually have a small period of feeling like I'm dying and I always panic
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
I have this too. I would be up till 1 am or so trying to jump / browsing best gore / whatever, and then I go back home / flick the lights off, Im trying to fall asleep and suddenly Im like 'But what if I die and stop existing? I dont want to stop existing! What if Im never found and my corpse bloats and turns all green and hideous?' and I cant sleep at all and either stay up staring at the wall or sleep with my dad
 
Brokenwings

Brokenwings

Someday Some Way
Mar 30, 2020
26
Afraid??? The best thing that could happen to me would be to fall asleep and never wake EVER AGAIN!
I agree best way to go
It's interesting because when I'm awake I constantly want to die. It's all I want. So much so that I fantasize about it when I'm going to bed.

But then right before I fall asleep I start picturing my corpse being buried, or rotting, or my body flailing around in a motel room, and it scares the shit out of me. It's enough to make me not want to CTB, but then as soon as I wake up I'm back to my normal suicidal self.

I just open my eyes and suddenly those things don't scare me at all.

Is anyone else like this?
I think I'm the opposite if I have to someday I'd rather it be in my sleep than anything else.
 
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DunnoWhyButYeah

DunnoWhyButYeah

~*-*~
Apr 3, 2020
385
Every night I wish I would die in my sleep:heart:
 
whereispeace

whereispeace

Member
Mar 18, 2020
95
Nah, bedtime is the most peaceful part of my day. I wish I'd die in my sleep.
 
H

Hoopali

Member
Apr 6, 2020
55
I had a really weird waking up kind of experience a few months ago. I had accidentally O'Ded on opiates. I was at home at the time and it was pure chance that i was found. I hadnt been in contact with my mental health team for a couple of weeks and they were worried so sent the Police out to do a welfare check. When i didnt answer the door they broke in and found me unconscious with a needle still in my arm. On the way to the hospital they gave me a shot of naloxone (it reverses the effects of opiates), and i "woke up" breifly but went straight out again. I remember at some point after receiving the naloxone, feeling like something was wrong, like maybe i was having a bad reaction to the naloxone and i vividly remember trying to tell the paramedics that there was something wrong, but i couldnt talk and i also remember trying to move my arms or legs & they wouldnt move either. It was like my brain was conscious and willing, but the rest of my body was unconscious. Like being a vegetable, aware of things around me and voices but totally unable to respond. It was the worst feeling. I cant even describe how bad that feeling was. Feeling like maybe this is it. When this was happening to me I also could feel my breathing getting weaker&weaker and knowing that very soon i will be taking my last breathe. I even remember hearing someone say, "were losing her". Then i remember my arm falling like a dead weight off the trolley and taking my last breathe. I wasnt scared thinking i was taking my last breathe, in fact i was talking to my mum and saying to her, Im coming mum, ill be with you soon. What scared me was the very real feeling that i was actually a vegetable and that the naloxone they gave me had some kind of bad effect on me and now i was going to be in this vegetative state. When i did eventually "wake up" in resus i was told that i had stopped breathing a couple of times and they had to resusitate me. Part of me was sad for waking up but also glad i didnt wake up as a vegetable. Ive spoke to several people since and im aware that people can go into bad withdrawal on being given Naloxone but i dont think thats what happened to me. I belivee i had some weird reaction to the Naloxone. Never again, thats all i know.

Yes my understanding of Naloxone is that it puts you into INSTANT withdrawal from opiates so if you were a fairly regular user you go from being high (or too high in your case) to cold turkey at the flick of a switch. It is supposed to be brutal as. I've only used liquid morphine and taken it orally.

With regard to the original question, sleep for me is my sanctuary. Waking up and knowing you are at the furthest point in the day from that sanctuary is the nightmare.
 
A

Angkorian

why am i still here
Apr 6, 2020
494
i understand your point. it'd be scary if you're still conscious after you die. but I don't think that's the case.

if it's really nothingness afterward, I would say that's the most peaceful way to go, no? idk about others but for me it would be a dream scenario (pun intended) :ahhha:
 
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