Discussion Does anyone else feel nostalgia for the worst times of your life?

[lobotomie]

Title basically says everything I wanted to say.
Am I alone with this or does anyone feel the same? It's really weird, almost like a feeling of missing it despite hating it.

 

[Anonymousa]

I can somewhat understand if something good happened during that time. For me stuff like relationships while have been quite painful when problems happened, often caused by my fear of abandonment and paranoia of doing things wrong or my people pleasing behavior making me sacrifice my own needs but there were times where I comforted for it so I can miss that. I have also somewhat missed having big anxiety attacks and people comforting through them.

"Funny how we get attached to the struggle" -Old Woman from Celeste

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm the reverse really. I suppose I feel like, it's kind of unlikely things will ever feel as bad as they did when I was a child growing up with a (suspected) narcissist. I at least feel like I have a bit more control over life as an adult. Ultimately, that if it gets too bad, I have CTB as a more realistically achievable option also.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I think I get what you mean. Kinda like a delated realisation that feelings in bad times were actually significant and looking back I was justified in being fairly off and weird and actually calling it something. Then in 'quieter' times, I kinda feel like a fraud where I'm not feeling things so dramatically so can't justify complaining about anything.

 

[FoxSauce]

Honestly yeah , moslty my bad mental state was really bad in childhood but rn dealing stress related to financial problems I wish I could go back.

Odd feeling , I cant even explain it.

 

[lawr]

Though tons of people wish for more control, even as children, a lack of control can be comforting too. You don't have to blame yourself for anything as a child, and life is objectively much simpler. As you get older, you must deal with the hardship with the added weight of adulthood responsibilities. Everything that goes wrong is your fault now, because you had the power to do something about it. Not true in every case of course but my point is that it's easy to feel that way. My childhood consisted of very low lows and very high highs that often went hand in hand so, like you, I do sometimes find myself feeling nostalgia towards those moments. But it's more often that I wish I could turn back time and stand up for myself instead of letting things happen.

 

[Fresh Soju]

Definitely. I was suicidal, attempted a few times (pills rip) and didn't have many people or anything, but things were simple. All I had to care about what trying to CTB or get through the day. Nothing else.

 

[Custos]

Couldn't tell you, because it's now.

 

[Emerita]

Yes sometimes, I find myself missing the period after I lost a friend. During those first few months, life felt like it had come to a pause, and there was a sense of community among the mourners. Although it was a harrowing time, there was something profoundly special about the shared experience of grief. But after some time that pause stopped, and life went on. That moment was gone just like my friend.

 

[getoutgirl]

For a while I isolated completely in my dorm, ignoring calls and texts, weeks without ever going outside, just darkness and the light of the screen. Sure I was feeling like shit, suicidal, too depressed to even do anything about it, just awful, but the world was gone, and I was safe there. I emerged lil by lil, going back periodically until it wasn't sustainable. But even now I have some nostalgia for it, I'm drawn back to that state where I could just give up, wallow in the pain, rot in darkness away from all. It was easy even if I forget how painful.