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archiveofpain

archiveofpain

Member
May 29, 2024
25
As the title says, I wonder if someone else experiences this? Lately I'm finding my depression is a lot worse with summer coming up soon probably because I see this as the biggest reminder that I have no life.

I see everyone else enjoying life and here I am contemplating CTB because I have nothing at all beyond rotting all day in bed and mindless scrolling. It doesn't help that I live in a small town that has nothing so the best I can do is going for a walk but everyday feels so terribly repetitive and dull that I don't know if I can keep going like this. The one thing that holds me here is the fact that I don't want to traumatize my only friend but I really want to give up and just quit everything, I don't know for how long I'll be able to hold on
 
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S

spicyfriedtofu

Idiot
Jun 10, 2018
68
Yes, exactly this. Mostly I'm slightly less depressed in the summer, but I've definitely had summer depressions for the reasons you mention, and I always have anxiety and feelings of purposelessness. Especially when going for walks downtown.
 
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lost_ange2211

lost_ange2211

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
146
I always though winter would be worse for my mind (darkness, brown nature,..) But I love the cold. And summer is just a pain with the heat and the quick changing weather before massive heat waves which stalls me quickly. I also don't like high temperature and high humidity my body just feels more weak and tired and makes me wanna sleep most of the time.

So yeah I also struggle a lot with summer.
 
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Yuki_03

Yuki_03

I really can't take it
Aug 9, 2023
488
Yeah, but mainly because it's my birthday and holidays and seeing people having all that happiness just makes me want to ctb,
 
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D

DeIetedUser4739

Guest
Apr 21, 2024
428
I can't spend half the day sleeping in summer because it's so hot, I was very suicidal a few months ago when it was summer but was also tranquillized by antipsychotics so had no energy and just wanted to lay down but it was too hot, it was absolute torture.

If I had SN or a gun I would've been dead back then but now I've survived it and have a bit of energy plus the coolness of Autumn/Winter I can sleep most of the day, I still want to die but not as desperate to end things like in summer.
 
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_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,094
Summer is the worst, heat, sweat, insects, no sleep bcuz its bright most of the time
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
755
Reverse season affective disorder here 👋 . Absolutely.
 
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Л

Лена

Member
Apr 18, 2024
26
As the title says, I wonder if someone else experiences this? Lately I'm finding my depression is a lot worse with summer coming up soon probably because I see this as the biggest reminder that I have no life.

I see everyone else enjoying life and here I am contemplating CTB because I have nothing at all beyond rotting all day in bed and mindless scrolling. It doesn't help that I live in a small town that has nothing so the best I can do is going for a walk but everyday feels so terribly repetitive and dull that I don't know if I can keep going like this. The one thing that holds me here is the fact that I don't want to traumatize my only friend but I really want to give up and just quit everything, I don't know for how long I'll be able to hold on
You are describing my story directly. I can't see how people live either. To remember that two years ago I was a super positive person. I'm thinking of leaving soon. I lie down all the time and don't get up. One female doctor destroyed my life forever.
 
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Saturn_

Saturn_

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
Apr 22, 2024
408
All the worst things that happen in my life seem to take place in spring, and I'm left to make sense of the deep depression that follows me into summer.
 
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set0553

set0553

самоубийство
May 16, 2024
111
😂 I was beginning to think I was the only one that has seasonal depression, not in the winter like most, but during summer/spring.. I seem to feel slightly better in deep fall and in winter and I prefer the cold and dark. Maybe the fact I work a job year around that's outside for 9 hours a day, and the heat/warmth is very uncomfortable, and many more ppl around too. Winter days and nights I'm basically by myself all day, which is what I most prefer..
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,377
My trauma happened in summer so its a reminder how much i hate summer. Being hot and sweaty and its to bright outside and to many people
 
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eatantz

eatantz

I luv dolls
Nov 4, 2023
520
Summer is hell, I can't sleep and I can't leave the house. I can't wear revealing/cool clothes since I'm insecure of my body and my scars. Literally a nightmare
 
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Kurai

Kurai

Suffering
Jul 23, 2023
149
Summer is the worst for me as everyone is out and lively. I'm over here stuck in my room bed rotting all day I just want to ctb already
 
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maneose

maneose

私は雨
Sep 10, 2023
45
very, everything is just so quiet and repetitive. school sucks but at least it gave me an opportunity to leave my house and keep me distracted. i always feel like i'm rotting away because all i do is wake up, play games, and sleep. i feel like my anxiety has gotten so much worse too and i can't even bring myself to text my friends. i think it's amplified because in highschool i at least had a reason to not be able to leave the house but i just feel like a major loser knowing i'm almost 20 and can't even go to the park by myself because of my parents. also trying to plan to make my life better but i can't even make myself do anything i know i need to do. the heat isn't a problem for me, it's annoying at times but since i'm inside all the time it doesn't effect me. but even if it did i live in a desert so i've gotten used to it
 
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TapeMachine

TapeMachine

perpetually confused
Jan 12, 2023
385
Summer used to help me. The boost of sunshine during the spring/summer months significantly increased my motivation and energy.

But this year, I'm feeling worse. I keep waiting for the typical surge of motivation to materialize, but I'm as listless as ever. And the guilt I feel for essentially wasting away inside my house whilst neglecting my loved ones is...paramount. It's so much more obvious how reclusive I've become during a season when others are vacationing, getting together, and so on.
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Specialist
Dec 1, 2022
317
I actually feel better in winter, I let myself hibernate and I love big warm coats and scarves and coming home and feeling cozy.
In summer i hear people having parties/ barbecues and generally having fun while I'm missing out being depressed by myself. Makes me feel rubbish.
 
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L

lizzywizzy09

Specialist
May 11, 2024
393
I hate it. Everyone is out there having their hot girl summer and then there's me, hiding in the house or wearing sweaters due to insecurity and sweating half to death.
 
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deadtomorrow

deadtomorrow

Member
Oct 25, 2023
73
I love the summer weather, but it makes me want to hesitate going outside because that's the time people are outside, enjoying their lives and that weather with other humans and i have to watch not being able to do the same
 
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Onelegman

Onelegman

I use a translator
May 24, 2024
553
Definitely yes, changes in season and temperature in general affect me a lot, but in summer things go crazy, the heat, the obligation to go on vacation with my parents to the beach, getting up early to get a place on the beach , putting on the cream... I'm so nervous that as soon as I get up I start to gag and I have to soak my head in cold water and take an antiemetic so I can have breakfast 30 minutes later. I hate it
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,828
I hate the summer. Too hot and sticky, and something about the bright sun depresses me. I find it lonely for some reason. Give me some comfy rain, clouds and wind any day. I like the autumn best.
 
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jarik

jarik

Student
Jun 12, 2024
161
yes, i,m…
I hate the summer. Too hot and sticky, and something about the bright sun depresses me. I find it lonely for some reason. Give me some comfy rain, clouds and wind any day. I like the autumn best.
I hate the summer I hate the sun, I prefer to stay at home in the cold and I prefer winter
 
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Proxycake

Proxycake

Matrimony
Feb 20, 2023
69
Yeah, but I think for me it's mainly the weather. I hate when it's bright out, I draw my blackout curtains and sit inside all day until it isn't so blinding out - then when you go outside at night, it's still hot. Terrible.
 
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abchia

abchia

Student
Aug 28, 2023
123
Yes, every summer. I spend much more time around family during this time of year and they always make ignorant/mean comments. Over the years, I realize I get noticeably worse during the summer. And it just seems to keep getting worse lol. Everyone seems to be happier and more lively, they hang out and have more fun, and I feel like a dead person trapped within myself.
 
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Afflicted

Afflicted

I'm a priest from the underworld, Guess who?
Feb 27, 2023
12
I agree, my father caught the bus in the summer many moons ago so it's the only thing I can think about. Also doesn't help it's hot as balls and there's nasty ass bugs everywhere.
 
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randomeyes11

randomeyes11

Ready to go home
Jun 14, 2024
18
It is known that summer heat brings out impatience, anger, and irritation (more than normal) in people. Especially in places like the US South, people tend to loose it more. It's one of the reasons why they won't even do many films in places like Florida. Because the film crews are miserable and tempers are short while they carry gear and sweat it out. Half the time I don't wanna be near anyone else as miserable as I feel in the summer unless it's in the AC. It brings out your worst side.
 
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S

Suspect_Device

Student
Jul 10, 2022
125
Heat aggravates most medical conditions, and for me it's the discs in my neck get really irritated. Plus it's so fucking bright outside that shit sucks. Here in the us south you can't escape the heat even in the ac. It really makes one just want to fucking eat a bullet.
 
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jbear824

jbear824

trapped & scared
Jul 4, 2023
402
Big time. Summer is misery for me. Summer does to me what SAD does to others in winter.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

long time sunshine
Jun 14, 2024
181
As the title says, I wonder if someone else experiences this? Lately I'm finding my depression is a lot worse with summer coming up soon probably because I see this as the biggest reminder that I have no life.

I see everyone else enjoying life and here I am contemplating CTB because I have nothing at all beyond rotting all day in bed and mindless scrolling. It doesn't help that I live in a small town that has nothing so the best I can do is going for a walk but everyday feels so terribly repetitive and dull that I don't know if I can keep going like this. The one thing that holds me here is the fact that I don't want to traumatize my only friend but I really want to give up and just quit everything, I don't know for how long I'll be able to hold on
Yes, very much so.

Since around the end of December (right before Christmas break) I'd been on a long, slow downward mental slide with a few dips and peaks. I hit my first big dip about two months ago, the 20th-ish, and the slide has significantly steepened since then. I hit my lowest point about two weeks ago and have stayed there since then. Today's a bit of a high point but no more so than an average day in early December.
 
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Sk1rtd4b

Sk1rtd4b

Member
May 13, 2024
29
As the title says, I wonder if someone else experiences this? Lately I'm finding my depression is a lot worse with summer coming up soon probably because I see this as the biggest reminder that I have no life.

I see everyone else enjoying life and here I am contemplating CTB because I have nothing at all beyond rotting all day in bed and mindless scrolling. It doesn't help that I live in a small town that has nothing so the best I can do is going for a walk but everyday feels so terribly repetitive and dull that I don't know if I can keep going like this. The one thing that holds me here is the fact that I don't want to traumatize my only friend but I really want to give up and just quit everything, I don't know for how long I'll be able to hold on
Was gonna make a post on this. With no distractions it's just you and your thoughts and it really dawns on you just how alone you are
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,619
I wouldn't say that the summer makes me more suicidal than I already am. However, at the same time, I really hate and loathe summer. For me, it's the worst season. I hate how hot it is. Summer makes me feel so uncomfortable. I think that I hate summer because of my autism as I noticed that many autistic people seem to hate summer too
 
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