Venting Does anyone else feel like they don't deserve to CBT?

[certified_idiot]

I feel like I don't deserve to be depressed or to feel suicidal. I don't think my life is bad enough for me to CBT, but I feel like shit anyway, and I want to CBT. I have a roof over my head and enough food and 2 still living parents. I see other people in way worse situations than me, but they still want to live. I feel like I should be grateful for being this lucky, and I'm just a lazy coward for wanting to end it when there are people who have it much worse than me. Does anyone else feel the same?

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

There's a lot of things I feel like I don't deserve. Wish things were different. I don't mind killing myself but i wish I didn't have to go through the process of dying. I wish I could blink and I'm gone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not really. I know on paper, I have had a better life than some and a worse life than others. Just because someone suffers more, doesn't make your pain any less. No- I feel like this kind of thing is usually said to us by others to guilt trip us. Fact is- I can't give my (comparitively) 'easy' life to them. If I would- I could. Ultimately, none of us chose to be born. We were brought here and then expected to just get on with it the best we can and be grateful for the opportunity- but I'm not. Simple as that. I don't think it's right to expect someone to react in a particular way to their life. We react how we react. It's not necessarily our fault when we feel like we can't cope with our lives.

That all said- if this feeling is truly coming from within. If you have- deep down, a desire to enjoy life and feel grateful for it- that's different. That might be worth pursuing. I think it's important to distinguish though- which are your ideas/ ideas that you have accepted and which are ideas other people have imposed on you.

 

[warm dreams]

I understand you perfectly. Moreover, I created such a thread on this forum. I also considered myself just a whiner, a pussyboy, a coward, lazy, etc. But actually it is not. The fact that we are doing well financially does not mean that we should be happy. There are people on this forum who are in situations that are much worse than mine and I feel very sorry for them. But this does not reduce my suffering, my problems. We are all waging our own war, for some it is larger, for others it is smaller, but this does not change the fact that we all suffer according to our capabilities. Friend, I ask you not to judge yourself for the way you feel. Do not instill in yourself a feeling of guilt because your financial situation is better than that of another. You have every right to feel unhappy in this world.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Nobody deserves to die but personal circumstances may require the consideration of suicide. People of all classes commit suicide daily worldwide for their personal reasons.

I consider CTB bc I have poor expectations for my future and I don't want to experience an even lower lifestyle than I have already now ompared to what I had before my big failure. This is pretty low already and making me very suicidal sometimes to prevent myself from further suffering in the future.

I actually would want to live that 's why I don't deserve to CTB but when life is not worth to be lived any more then CTB is most likely inevitable.

 

[notherenotnow]

I bet that most people who want to ctb think like that. But suffering isnt really a competition, right? I dont think we should be compering eachother, as pain is rather a subjective, especially when it comes to emotional pain. But i of course completly understand what you mean. Uts just not something to worry about, since there will be always people who have it worse than us and wont ctb, but also people who from our point of view have it "better" tgan us and still will commit.

I dont really feel like i shouldnt ctb because others have it worse than me, but i do feel that way about self harm. One time an ex drug addict came to my school and told us about what it was like to be an addict. He told us about how he was cutting himself because he wanted to feel like he had control over something in his life. When he said that, i started cutting myself more since i couldnt stop thinking about how i dont have a "valid" reason to self harm.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Yes, I don't think I have done enough to retire yet.

 

[Mayonaise]

Truth is, each one of us is a unique individual and what can be bearable for me might not be bearable for you. If you ask a professional I think you'll be told the same.
For instance, I believe I always managed pretty well being alone while it's untolerable for many people.
The "somebody's got it worse than me and doesn't want to die" thing does not apply for the same reason.
Many rich/famous people ctb and everyone is asking "He had it all, money, success, why did he do that?"
You are only capable of feeling your own pain as you can't truly feel the pain of others.
I know very well what it means to feel guilty, I feel tremendously guilty towards my parents, because they've always supported and loved me and yet I feel like throwing away the life they gave me. Their love is not enough to save me from my eventual decision but I think this is the case for everyone who chooses to ctb despite having a loving family.
The fact that you feel guilty only shows that you're 100% human - only sociopaths aren't capable of feeling guilt.
Please, try not to judge yourself so badly. I don't know your reasons but I believe they are completely legit to you. If you haven't already, please consider seeking professional advice, you owe it to yourself.
I can relate to your situation. Much love to you