Venting Does anyone else feel like their reason for wanting to CTB is stupid?

[ausboy96]

I'd rather keep my reason to myself but I sometimes feel like my reasoning is very stupid but I can't let it go.

I made a really, really BIG mistake and I can't cope with it anymore.

If I wasn't so stupid I wouldn't be in this mess and if I wasn't such a pussy I wouldn't be having to suffer rn.

Ugh.

 

[worldexploder]

Not at all. My reasons are very complex.

I don't think there is a "dumb" reason to want to CTB. If you want out you want out. Everyone has their reasons.

 

[Letmego. Please]

There are no dumb reasons, no pathetic reasons, no stupid reasons, just a persons own personal suffering, all of the adjectives put before the reasons are society trying to make us feel like we are wrong.

I spent years struggling to make sense of why 8 in 10 people who had lived the same experiences as me were able to get on with life while i battled myself, in the end it was a shrink who helped me make sense of it, some of us can bounce back time & again like a postman's rubber band, others by virtue of genetic's etc ended up with more of a poundshop rubber band so can only bounce a few times before going twang.

I really hope that makes some sense....

 

[Help_Me]

I can't decide, because it's a complex of different reasons. I confirm I am stupid because thinking of ctb as a result of problems with my relations. Still, the primary problem is my life itself.

 

[Letmego. Please]

It doesn't have to be one massive thing, it is often a large amount of 'small' things that when put together become unsurmountable and mix in a good dose of 'this world is hell'.

 

[Diow]

I dont know, i dont wanna die, i wanna live again on another body, another country

 

[Letmego. Please]

Become a Buddhist ?

Apologies if that is a tad flippant, wasn't meant to be

 

[Diow]

Become a Buddhist ?

Apologies if that is a tad flippant, wasn't meant to be

No, im sensitive, feel things, my bigger wish is die, i dont know for short why

 

[wanttodie]

Not at all

 

[worldexploder]

The way I see it, there are more reasons to die than to live. More reasons not to have children than to procreate.

 

[TiredHorse]

I know that I can look at my reasons for wanting to ctb and see them as silly and minor --Look around! People overcome such sorrows/obstacles all the time!-- and yet at the same time I can't find a way to actually overcome them. Being able to see them as stupid doesn't make them feel stupid. Just because I can look at pain rationally doesn't make it any less painful.

 

[TAW122]

I have many reasons to die, due to life circumstances as well as philosophical reasons too. It is complicated and quite long, but the short answer to your question is, no there isn't really a stupid reason to ctb. If one wants to go, then he/she should be able to go, even if they had a good life, because they might have just gotten 'tired' of life and wanted an end.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

In my opinion, you don't need a "good" reason, just like you don't need a "good" reason to be depressed.

Also, the world itself is so utterly objectively terrible that that alone seems like a good enough reason to me and that's not counting all the personal issues one might have.

 

[stargazer]

No.

I feel my reasons are valid and well-considered.

Am I selfish? Sure am. Do I care? Not a single bit.

I've had 4 years to justify it to myself.

Perhaps that's where my mental state has become the 'dark' guy I am now.

I was innocent. Those were the good old worry free days.

 

[GreenLantern]

I thought about it a lot, logically and practically. And given my life, my problems, and what I know now; I'd be "stupid" not to ctb.

 

[Watson]

I don't feel like my reasons are stupid because I can't help but feel the way I do, since my life has become what it has.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

There's no such thing as a stupid reason to want to ctb. There's a whole bunch of stupid reasons on the other hand to want to continue living. Why should you have to justify your decision to anyone? The decision is yours and yours alone. If you think it's a good enough reason than it's a good enough reason, period.

 

[15dec]

I don't think any reasons are stupid, when I'm thinking logically about all this. Sometimes I feel like my reason is but I suppose that's natural if you're feeling depressed.

 

[Sanguinius]

Yes. I feel like a tard in some way. Just not able to cope with the world and too idiotic to change my values.

 

[Misanthrope]

I'd rather keep my reason to myself but I sometimes feel like my reasoning is very stupid but I can't let it go.

I made a really, really BIG mistake and I can't cope with it anymore.

If I wasn't so stupid I wouldn't be in this mess and if I wasn't such a pussy I wouldn't be having to suffer rn.

Ugh.

The fact you are on this site speaks volumes to how much pain you must be in. The reasons don't matter in that way, you shouldn't judge them as stupid. There is nothing stupid about being in pain, whatever reason or form it takes. It is also not wise to compare pain to others. Because if you go down that route you could argue that everyone's reasons here are stupid and invalid, as they don't know the pain of living in North Korea forced to eat their babies to stave off starvation.

You are also not a pussy. To kill yourself is to go against the grain of every hardwired response to the threat of death. Even unconscious your body will fight to live. That is a lot to consciously contend with! We live in an unkind world enough as it is with people happy to denigrate us. Why add to that with your own self belittling language of stupid and pussy? When it is obvious you are a human being suffering through an experience you are finding hard to cope with. Try and be gentle with yourself if you can, because no one else will do that for you.

Peace.

 

[ReadyasEver]

We are all built different. What some people can or want to endure is completely different than the person next to them. No one should have to validate their reasons. For a very long period of my life I looked at CTB as the coward's way ( societal influences ), it took time for me to realize over the past year as my own situation with health turned into a tsunami of crap that I was wrong. You and you alone have the choice on when to live and when to die. I think the Judeo-Christian mantra here in the US and Europe really has robbed people of their final choices. We are of this earth, we live and we return to her.

 

[gingerplum]

The fact you are on this site speaks volumes to how much pain you must be in. The reasons don't matter in that way, you shouldn't judge them as stupid. There is nothing stupid about being in pain, whatever reason or form it takes. It is also not wise to compare pain to others. Because if you go down that route you could argue that everyone's reasons here are stupid and invalid, as they don't know the pain of living in North Korea forced to eat their babies to stave off starvation.

You are also not a pussy. To kill yourself is to go against the grain of every hardwired response to the threat of death. Even unconscious your body will fight to live. That is a lot to consciously contend with! We live in an unkind world enough as it is with people happy to denigrate us. Why add to that with your own self belittling language of stupid and pussy? When it is obvious you are a human being suffering through an experience you are finding hard to cope with. Try and be gentle with yourself if you can, because no one else will do that for you.

Peace.

"The fact that you are on this site speaks volumes to how much pain you must be in".

Thank you. Your words gave me both acknowledgement and validation at a time when I was feeling really, really low.

 

[bigj75]

In my opinion, you don't need a "good" reason, just like you don't need a "good" reason to be depressed.

Also, the world itself is so utterly objectively terrible that that alone seems like a good enough reason to me and that's not counting all the personal issues one might have.

I agree. Suffering is subjective. If the end result is the same it doesn't matter what brought it about.

 

[gingerplum]

I agree. Suffering is subjective. If the end result is the same it doesn't matter what brought it about.

This. This so much.

 

[Lefty]

I wouldn't say there is dumb reasons to die. I think most people who die have their reasons. There are multiple reasons why I want to.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

The fact you are on this site speaks volumes to how much pain you must be in. The reasons don't matter in that way, you shouldn't judge them as stupid. There is nothing stupid about being in pain, whatever reason or form it takes. It is also not wise to compare pain to others. Because if you go down that route you could argue that everyone's reasons here are stupid and invalid, as they don't know the pain of living in North Korea forced to eat their babies to stave off starvation.

You are also not a pussy. To kill yourself is to go against the grain of every hardwired response to the threat of death. Even unconscious your body will fight to live. That is a lot to consciously contend with! We live in an unkind world enough as it is with people happy to denigrate us. Why add to that with your own self belittling language of stupid and pussy? When it is obvious you are a human being suffering through an experience you are finding hard to cope with. Try and be gentle with yourself if you can, because no one else will do that for you.

Peace.

I feel like my reason is dumb and this comment really helped, thank you

 

[Final Escape]

I'd rather keep my reason to myself but I sometimes feel like my reasoning is very stupid but I can't let it go.

I made a really, really BIG mistake and I can't cope with it anymore.

If I wasn't so stupid I wouldn't be in this mess and if I wasn't such a pussy I wouldn't be having to suffer rn.

Ugh.

No

 

[therhydler]

Yes. Especially when I think that most people in my situation would be able to just move on with their lives. But I can't help the way I feel and the way my mind functions. I'm trying to come to terms with this. If I could help it I would. There is just NO WAY I can

 

[Sanguinius]

Yes. Especially when I think that most people in my situation would be able to just move on with their lives. But I can't help the way I feel and the way my mind functions. I'm trying to come to terms with this. If I could help it I would. There is just NO WAY I can

Yes... Mee too.
*hugs...

 

[checking out]

No-one has the right to disrespect your reasons to want to die. Your life is precisely that - yours. Sure there may be others that have had it worse than you. No doubt there are people who have suffered worse and got through it. You are not those people. You are you. If you truly believe that life is not worth living, and you have thought long and hard about it, then your reason(s) for CTB are legitimate.