Does anyone else feel like the unwanted one in the friend group?

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

I've got no friends my dog is more loyal.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm sorry you feel so bad @woxihuanni I was very similar growing up. I was the odd one out at school. I had friends in college but it was all based around beer. It wasn't until university that I made some real friends. I'm alone now due to illness but they reach out to me every once in a while.
You have friends here though. It's not the same I know, but it's something.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm sorry you feel so bad @woxihuanni I was very similar growing up. I was the odd one out at school. I had friends in college but it was all based around beer. It wasn't until university that I made some real friends. I'm alone now due to illness but they reach out to me every once in a while.
You have friends here though. It's not the same I know, but it's something.

It means a lot to me. Actually it was ungrateful of me to say that, I do have friends in real life as well. Just that when I am in a very bad place, it feels as if the most anybody can feel for me is pity.

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

My best friend and partner left me 6 weeks ago, I think. He didn't even break up clearly, so I don't know what is going on. Since then he pretends I don't exist anymore, doesn't message, doesn't call, doesn't come by, doesn't reciprocate if I call or message. We work at the same place, I see him every day, he treats me like I'm already dead. I say hi, he walks past stone faced.
My best friend (female best friend) told me she cannot be friends anymore because I have turned so negative since he started to treat me that way that she needs to protect her own mental health.

I have no one else in my life, but my partner and his family, his kids and mother, whom I by proxy also lost and miss very much, and my best female friend from work. I am all alone and isolated now, no one to talk to except the people here on the forum. But it's not the same as human contact, hearing someones voice, feeling someone's touch and warmth. That is why I will ctb, op. I cannot hold on anymore, to exist knowing what and whom I've lost.

One of my friends also left me because they claimed I was too negative and it was damaging their mental health. They said I was too depressing and dark.

 

[RestingGirl23]

Op, I've been in your situation before and let me tell you that if this is the case you should leave your so called "friends" and be by yourself. If they really like being around you they will call you and want you to be involved in their activities. Don't be around rude people that don't appreciate you, this is just going to hurt your feelings and your mental health.

Try to be involved in other things like hobbies and you will make new friends. If not it's better to be by yourself than sorrounded by negativity.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Same... and would probably benefit a few people whom I care for dearly if I ctb and leave them my $$

 

[Midnight]

I had the same thing from my early childhood until mid 20s. I never belonged, I was tolerated most of the time, but not a part of it. If I was around at school and kids made plans, I always asked if I can come too, and that was usually fine. But when they did the calling rounds to invite people, they never called me. I got used to it eventually and did my own thing. I read a lot, I played video games, surfed the net.. I somehow became the therapist in my class. People would come to me to talk to me about their problems, I'd listen and help and encourage, and then they'd go and forget I existed. Same at uni. After my mid 20s I stopped to try and make friends really. I'm too different to belong, I don't do any drugs, I don't party, I don't like to go out late. I am depressed, I go to work, I run out of energy, I go home. If I have anything left, I go to the gym. Not to a bar.

Your friends behavior doesn't say anything about you, it says something about them. About their level of kindness and compassion, about their level of development and egocentricism (I hope that is a word?). But I know it is painful to want to belong and to not be accepted. I cannot tell you how to deal with it, I found growing up very painful and isolating, very lonely and alienating. I'm still the therapist in the group of people I call friends-ish, I'm still depressed. But I found 2 people that reciprocated my feelings and interest. I lost them both by now and I cannot cope. I'm sorry op my story doesn't end on a happier note, this is a forum for suicide after all. If my story had a happy ending, I wouldn't be here.
Take care and be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

I relate alot to your story. Though i did somehow manage to be part of a group i was always the least interesting member or a "tag along" (i don't know if thats the correct word for it but yeah.) Spent my youth tagging along to bars and clubs because "that's how you meet people" it was just awfull every single time and i did it hundreds and hundreds of times throughout my teens and 20's. Like you're there but if you didn't it would not have made one bit of difference. Being used for other people's benefit without a single thing in return is also a specialty of mine. Like you i played the "Therapist" role almost daily. Listen to people's "problems" all the while thinking i should kill myself asap (but i never did).

I realise perfectly well i put myself in this position for the most part but i can't change who i am or what i feel. If i was more popular or not a loser i wouldn't have such been/feel such a loser either .. it's 50/50 on how i am vs how life turned out.

It could have all worked out but i was just not good looking/interesting/tall/fun/social enough. And way too kind on top of that.

When i made friends it was because i was either usefull to them or i had something that was of interest to them. For example in alot of bars i was nicknamed after the car i owned (i gained alot of interest because of it) they knew me because of the car not because of being me. It only brought interest from heaps of dudes unfortunately. It was a dickmagnet instead of a pussymagnet (pardon my french but i just had to phrase it that way)

That car was my pride and joy (not because it made me more "known" locally) now it's rotting away in a shed.

I was lucky not to have had a severe illness or be completely off my rocker but it all just didn't work out. Failure to launch i guess.

This reply became way to long. Excuse the vent/rant.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

When I was in college, yes. I was the one others tolerated but whose head they'd bite off if I opened my mouth. Then when I failed to become "a success," I was universally dumped. Chickens, rats, wolves, humans... Pecking order. :/

 

[justwhy?]

maybe fitting, given some of these posts

 

[Barbus]

In the past I've felt like I was allowed to hang out with my friend group because I had a driver's license and a car. Later on in life I was the unwanted leftovers. No one sought out my companionship unless they had no one else.

 

[PaYo]

My best friend and partner left me 6 weeks ago, I think. He didn't even break up clearly, so I don't know what is going on. Since then he pretends I don't exist anymore, doesn't message, doesn't call, doesn't come by, doesn't reciprocate if I call or message. We work at the same place, I see him every day, he treats me like I'm already dead. I say hi, he walks past stone faced.
My best friend (female best friend) told me she cannot be friends anymore because I have turned so negative since he started to treat me that way that she needs to protect her own mental health.

I have no one else in my life, but my partner and his family, his kids and mother, whom I by proxy also lost and miss very much, and my best female friend from work. I am all alone and isolated now, no one to talk to except the people here on the forum. But it's not the same as human contact, hearing someones voice, feeling someone's touch and warmth. That is why I will ctb, op. I cannot hold on anymore, to exist knowing what and whom I've lost.

Im sorry i cant ready anymore. I would cry if i could. At least you had this touch. Me? I cant remembrs to be touched by someone in past 10 years. I have never felt love and never been accepted since 2010. Right know i have one friend i meet twice a week or once in two week. But he is a man. Im no gay i need satisfaction. I have two more friends that accept me but they do drugs. And its ... my brain hurts after taking amphetamine. I cant think im blocked. Migraine popsup and feels like a shit. I cant live like this. And my friends thia real friends i have my entire life. They just. Forget about me. I tired to reconnect with them, but when you hear get the fuck out. Thats hurt. Igorance hurt. A girl i know my entire life, sister of my former colegue, hugs everyone in my street while we drinking and smoking on the street at night, she come to me, look at my face said oh thats you, turn back to me and leave

I wanna cry but i cant, i shut down my entire life all emotions, to not feel the pain. I no longer feel anything. I dont think, dont plan, i do everything to get out of here. My gramda is dying and i am like yeah, no big deal. Maybe im a little jelaus of her leaving this world, but it not thenway it should be. I know this is wrong, but this is the way it is. So. I m8ght be elliot rogder and just kill everyone. But im not, imwould kill only one person, and it is me.
They comparing me to a voldemort i have seen the conversation on facebook between them and you know how they speak about me? The one we dont speak about.

 

[With0ut]

Yep. Happens to me all the time. I've been told I'm "Too weird" and that's why people don't talk to me. How wonderful. And the friends I do have speak over me, ignore me, kind of play mean with me but it feels genuine. I feel like I don't belong at all.

my girlfriend is my only friend and all her friends say this about me and talk over me too. it pretty ass :/

 

[ClownWorld2023]

It´s like...people tolerate me hanging out with them but I know they don´t really care about me. They don´t notice if I´m not there, or if I seem sad or am acting strange. They don´t treat me the same way they treat their other friends. Sometimes we´ll all be talking and they´ll just up and leave. Walk away chatting without even noticing that they left me behind. It is seemingly impossible for me to find anyone who genuinely likes me for who I am.

I can relate to this.

And this even happened online.

After that I discarded those people immediately and didn't look back.

 

[Inthewind]

I can relate to this.

And this even happened online.

After that I discarded those people immediately and didn't look back.

Yeah, best to discard those people, they dont add value to our lives they just bring us down they dont realize what value we have. IF they dont think about us then why think about them and waste time on thos epeople who dont bother to make sure we are there. I been invited to things then pretty much ignored. its annoying and dumb so I only go places I want to really goto with or without them.