D

Daystavro

Experienced
Oct 15, 2018
269
That's honestly how I feel.
That even if somehow, my life miracoulsy tuened good, it won't make up for all the shit I already went through.
And all the bad experiences I went through.
 
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throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
"It has always seemed to me that my existence consisted purely and exclusively of nothing but the most outrageous nonsense." (Thomas ligotti)

it's the nonsense of my existence that hurts me the most and i know that nothing could ever solve this...
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
In all honestly what would a good life consist of?
 
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throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
Last edited:
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
Like. I won't remember my sexual abuse from my mother? Like I won't get triggered by stupid and small things, like the ice cream aisle?

You mean, I won't have to start at the bottom to develop necessary skills such as work ethic and developing normal interpersonal relations? That I won't be afraid to be vulnerable with others? Like I will have an understanding of what it's like to have a loving mother and a loving family?

Like being able to have loving, passionate, and intimate sex? You know, instead of passionless and mechanical fucking? No more needless anxiety? Helplessness? Depression? No crazy health conditions? No need for weekly therapy?

somehow, if that all went away. it would change my mind.
 
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N

Nik

Member
Oct 4, 2018
44
I've learnt not to trust the good. It gets taken away.
 
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M

Miljonar

Member
Oct 29, 2018
5
I wonder if I can take my Bitcoins with me after I'm gone? Or have a wallet in my grave?
Motherabuse or fatherabuse! What is wrong with those people?
As my mother was raped during her teens by 1000 of soldiers in a camp she probably thought it was normal. Sad!
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
My life really never turned good. Even when it did for short periods of time it was only a prelude to a much larger tragedy.

Life IS objectively a negative imposition. There is no yin yang 50/50 about it. One of the many analogies I came up with to prove my point is "The Chocolate Box Analogy".

Let's say you have a box filled with 50 pieces of chocolate. 49 are perfectly fine but unbeknownst to you, the 50th piece of is tainted with a tasteless/odorless poison. You eat all 49 pieces of chocolate and enjoy every bite. Then you bite into the last one and it sends you to the E.R. Despite the abundance of the "good" chocolate, it only takes that one peice for you to recognize the entire ordeal as a bad experience. That's life.

Our capacity to feel pain far outweighs our capacity to experience pleasure - both in intensity and duration. An orgasm doesn't feel as good as a broken arm feels bad for example.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
"good life" seems like an unsolvable oxymoron …
There are some objective standards that create a good life.

  • Good physical and mental health
  • financial stability
  • Shelter
  • hobby (something that you love to do)
  • good paying job or job you like a lot
  • companionship (friends, family, and sex)
Other than that I think everything else is subjective
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
Let's say you have a box filled with 50 pieces of chocolate. 49 are perfectly fine but unbeknownst to you, the 50th piece of is tainted with a tasteless/odorless poison. You eat all 49 pieces of chocolate and enjoy every bite. Then you bite into the last one and it sends you to the E.R. Despite the abundance of the "good" chocolate, it only takes that one peice for you to recognize the entire ordeal as a bad experience. That's life.

Our capacity to feel pain far outweighs our capacity to experience pleasure - both in intensity and duration. An orgasm doesn't feel as good as a broken arm feels bad for example.
i agree. for EXAMPLE You could have such a pleasurable life up till about 30 and a catastrophic event leaves you in a horrible condition to where you wish you were never born. That those 30 years of pleasure were not worth it.
 
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D

Daystavro

Experienced
Oct 15, 2018
269
i agree. for EXAMPLE You could have such a pleasurable life up till about 30 and a catastrophic event leaves you in a horrible condition to where you wish you were never born. That those 30 years of pleasure were not worth it.

 
throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
There are some objective standards that create a good life.

  • Good physical and mental health
  • financial stability
  • Shelter
  • hobby (something that you love to do)
  • good paying job or job you like a lot
  • companionship (friends, family, and sex)
Other than that I think everything else is subjective
it wouldnt change a thing in how i am feeling ..i am hurting because everything seems so pointless to me .. what's the reason behind all those things you listed ? … i can't find it … okay, i can feel some things.. like the love for my mum .. but for me nothing is enough .. no reason that could explain my existence and the suffering i feel ..i know nothing, everything is so uncertain … and this is hurting me
 
throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
it wouldnt change a thing in how i am feeling ..i am hurting because everything seems so pointless to me .. what's the reason behind all those things you listed ? … i can't find it … okay, i can feel some things.. like the love for my mum .. but for me nothing is enough .. no reason that could explain my existence and the suffering i feel ..i know nothing, everything is so uncertain … and this is hurting me
i cant live through some distractions ...without asking myself why … but i know that some people can live without that reason … and i dont blame them ..
 
bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
it wouldnt change a thing in how i am feeling ..i am hurting because everything seems so pointless to me .. what's the reason behind all those things you listed ? … i can't find it … okay, i can feel some things.. like the love for my mum .. but for me nothing is enough .. no reason that could explain my existence and the suffering i feel ..i know nothing, everything is so uncertain … and this is hurting me
personally I just try to find things to do that make me not care ABOUT the point of existence. All I know is I like sex, alcohol, food, and competition. If I have all those things then I tend to not care if it's all pointless since the pleasure of those things is enough to keep my will to live going. but I understand your point.
 
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