Venting Does anyone else feel like dying mainly because they don't want to try anymore?

[Dead beat dad]

I'm just tired. Tired of swimming against the tide

 

[brighter]

Welcome to the Machine

I remember this. It was so iconic.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I am not planning to ctb atm but I am definitely always sort of world weary. I feel like I even walk and carry myself like a much older man. I've always felt sluggish and out of it, and I'm not real vital or energetic in any way. It feels as if I was tired from the day I was born. My parents said that even as a kid I didn't want to walk anywhere or really do anything. I also feel beat down by life's failures. So in that sense I do feel too bogged down. I am trying to improve though, difficult as it is.

 

[Quinlor]

Me. I decided 10 years ago that I would keep alive until I give up completely . So this day came and I am since the beginning of the year trying kill myself
So I thank you that this forum exists

 

[Walilamdzi]

I don't want to have to make any more decisions. I want freedom from having to plan and decide things.

 

[silentsinger]

Me. I decided 10 years ago that I would keep alive until I give up completely . So this day came and I am since the beginning of the year trying kill myself
So I thank you that this forum exists

This honestly is something I identify with so much. Bless you. Although our circumstances are probably very different, I too feel that way, that I have tried hard and tried enough that it is something o wont regret in my final moments. I want to hug you and help you. I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

[Quinlor]

This honestly is something I identify with so much. Bless you. Although our circumstances are probably very different, I too feel that way, that I have tried hard and tried enough that it is something o wont regret in my final moments. I want to hug you and help you. I'm sorry you feel this way.

Thank you for the kind words. I know that it's difficult not intoxicated the other people's behavior here. I wish that you find your peace and if I could I would help and hug everyone here.

 

[silentsinger]

Sending you so much love

 

[deflagrat]

Yup. I'm living off retirement savings right now. People think I'm lazy because I don't get a job. What they don't understand--and what I'm not allowed to say--is, "Why would I try so hard to get a job when I can't even find a reason to exist."

Yeah, that's my problem too. Life is pointless and I don't really enjoy it that much. It's sad to realize that life is really shitty for everyone else too. I still have a few reasons to live, but if I had to try to get a job I would have killed myself when I was 18.

I guess I am "lucky" because I don't need to work to have a decent life (my parents pay for that, disability benefits help too), and that makes life much easier. I am still waiting for a "better method" than mine, as in, new methods to kill yourself painlessly, one of the reasons why I think it's still necessary for me to live. Let's hope PPeH delivers.

 

[silentsinger]

Thank you for the kind words. I know that it's difficult not intoxicated the other people's behavior here. I wish that you find your peace and if I could I would help and hug everyone here.

Please don't thank me, I don't like to say it to people face to face but I absolutely love talking to people. So THANK YOU for posting

 

[Mofreeko]

Yes. We live to pay bills and then we die. I don't have the motivation to do that.

You hit the nail on the head.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So exhausted from just trying to survive a life I don't even want and didn't ask for. It was forced on me.

 

[Glim]

Being human is such a pain in the ass. You have to constantly strive to acquire capital in order to pay for resources and shelter, perform hygiene maintenance and health check-ups, fix and consume meals + liquids daily, relieve yourself of waste and sexual urges, invest in retirement and health insurance, are tempted to consume harmful substances in the form of drugs, alcohol and junk food, and are prone to getting mangled and developing health problems - all the while knowing that you are perpetually rotting and will still die despite all your effort to constantly stave off harm.






I have existence dysphoria. I wish I was a Gem-being instead of a pulsating, decaying meatbag with organs and blood sloshing inside of me.

 

[Please_stop]

Yes... I've tried and tried so hard, got and lost so much in the process. Realistically, I think most of us could be "happy" again if we tried. But I just don't want to face the thought of putting that much effort and be hurt again.

 

[TAW122]

There are times in my life where I do feel lots of apathy and simply don't care if I live or die. I would say that as of now, I'm not really looking forward to dying, but if I die, then so be it. I'm just riding out the waves in life as of now.

 

[asdasan]

Most, if not all decisions I've made in life landed me in some sort of catastrophic situation. So yes, I am done trying. I just keep losing things.

Damn this.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Anyone else sick of constantly struggling? Constantly trying? Do you also feel often that you come out of the womb onto a treadmill, and you keep jogging and jogging and jogging no matter how exhausted you are 'til you finally die and roll off the treadmill?

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So true!

 

[dandan]

Since I was 18 years old I thought: " I have to learn to be OK with myself, then everything else would be fine"
Twenty years have gone by... I've put off work, making money, relationships, friends, events...
and i'm still not OK with myself

I've put great effort, but not good results
and NOW I have to quit spending time thinking on how to be OK with myself, on trying to get better
and I have to think in work, making money, paying rent, and surviving

I dont want to stop thinking in how could I get better with myself
but I have to work
seems like i'm reaching the end of the rope....

cause I dont want to try no more...

 

[couragetodie]

how we perceive life is what makes life good or bad. digging a ditch can either be terrible or enjoyable based on our mind's perception of the task. same for just about anything we do to survive. the ones who are not on SS, find pleasure (or at least not displeasure) in doing tasks that people who are depressed, anxious, etc don't find pleasure in. There are monks who find joy in seeing a new leaf growing. for those of us suffering from shit from childhood when depression/anxiety rear their ugly heads we fail to see beauty in just about anything and catastrophe everywhere. for you that are young on this site, I hope that you can fight through your pain and emerge as happier adults. I have experienced great joys in my life — but my failure to accept loss is what has brought me here.

 

[been_there]

You get to a point where you're weary with trying with people anymore and eventually that includes yourself. Here's something I wish I knew thirty years ago, you have to be so careful how much of yourself you give to people who will never reciprocate. Not trying to blame, it was my choice at the time. But it just wears you out after a few decades.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Anyone else sick of constantly struggling? Constantly trying? Do you also feel often that you come out of the womb onto a treadmill, and you keep jogging and jogging and jogging no matter how exhausted you are 'til you finally die and roll off the treadmill?

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I can totally relate as a society we are hushed onto the treadmill, education, job, family naturally certain milestones are celebrated.

But we didn't choose to be here so we should have the choice to leave if we wish.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Yes, exactly. Making such effort to survive in this world feels so pointless. I didn't ask to be born. I was completely fine in my state of nonexistence, and now I'm here, being forced to do things I don't want to do in order to survive, and if it wasn't worse enough, I will be pressured by society to perpetuate this endless cycle of suffering by making other human beings. This is so unfair. I want to quit.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I'm tired of fighting on this perpetual battleground just so things can slowly get from bad to worse with life constantly eat my soul away. There's no reason to try, I'm done.

 

[faultypiston]

Yessssir

 

[Orin]

 

[not_a_robot]

yep.
one guy said to me, "life is all one big fight, one long battle, you just have to keep fighting, keep fighting. Life is struggle."
I looked at him like he was nuts. I go
"why the fuck would anyone want to live that way? You're right, but why should anyone want to live in a constant struggle that never fucking ends? It's miserable. Is that your dog?"
"Yeah she's mine."
"Does she bite?"
"Hell yeah she bites."
"Good girl. Good for her."

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

And then a lot of people try to delude themselves into finding meaning by "building a family" in order to validate their existence. All while ignoring the fact that they just brought another human into the world. A human who had no say in whether or not he/she wanted to be born. A human who will probably grow up to be just another wage slave, continuing the endless cycle of meaningless suffering.

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Add "build a family (aka bring more wage slaves into the world in an attempt to validate your own existence)" and this would be accurate.

 

[dandan]

Too many attempts , this is my last attempt but I have lied before, I'm just greatly calmed and feel honest, I'm making an attempt at living, I want to enjoy the time I got left, I don't want to spend the time I have left sad or wishing to die, no! I rather live and do things and kill myself anyway.

 

[Lol]

yeah. i just don't see myself going on with a future that has me working until i die.

 

[LastFlowers]

When trying is no guarantee of your reasons for catching the bus resolving, I don't see the point.
Not for me anyhow.