Discussion Does anyone else feel guilty about wanting CTB?

[Lary]

I hear all my friends and family telling me it's wrong to want to kill yourself. I wish I did not have this desire, but I can not think of anything else. Does anyone else feel guilty about wanting CTB?

 

[dolphin]

I don't feel guilty for wanting to, but I feel guilty that I'm going to.

 

[Ruffian]

Try to realize most people do not understand suicidal ideation or actual thoughts of suicide. Plus if you live in the USA there is a pervasive expectation to be positive about everything all the time. Most people are extremely selfish and make your feelings about them instead of you. There are some articles on the internet that explain how important it is to let someone talk about these feelings instead of being shut down like your friends and family are doing. Maybe you can find one and show them? It's really horrible that people have this attitude, and I'm sorry they are adding to your suffering. No one here will tell you its wrong, which is so refreshing. It may help you just to be here and be accepted. It's helped me a lot.

 

[VikingWinger]

Yes. So fucking much. Especially when I think about my mother and how that wound leave her. Heartbreaking

 

[Lary]

[QUOTE = "Ruffian, post: 295609, membro: 5109"]
Tente perceber que a maioria das pessoas não está pensando em suicídio ou medo do suicídio. Além disso, você se mora nos EUA, há uma expectativa generalizada de ser positivo sobre todo o tempo todo. A maioria das pessoas é extremamente egoísta e faz seus sentimentos sobre elas em vez de você. Existem dois artigos na internet que explicam como a vontade de falar, os sentimentos em vez de ser fechados como seus amigos e os que estão fazendo. Você pode encontrar e mostrar a eles? A really horrible as people needed this attitude, and eu disappointing are which being already the resolution. Aqui está o que é errado, o que é muito refrescante. Pode ser apenas um estar e ser aceito. Isso me ajudou muito.
[CITAR]
Sim, é muito bom falar abertamente sem ser julgada.

 

[wanttodie]

I don't feel guilty for wanting to end m life

 

[Superfluous]

Same here. No guilt at all. My life, my choice.

 

[JohnUK]

No. No guilt whatsoever.

 

[Ivenocare]

I feel very much so, I am wanting to do it in about an hour or two; all I can think of is my mother finding me, and what it will do to my family. It is an awful tearing feeling of contradictory, wanting freedom, yet not wanting to hurt others in the process.

 

[Escaper Boy]

I feel guilty in the sense that my reason for ctb is not "good enough". There are millions of other people on the planet who have things worse than me. Someone was born with incurable disease. Others are trapped inside disabilities.

And yet, myself who was "blessed" without any chronic illness whatsoever actively researching methods to ctb. This line of thinking made me feel even worse as a person. I feel like a spoiled brat, a loser who can only use "escape" as the only way to solve problems.

 

[Redt2go]

Of course, especially when agreeing to plans in a future I don't plan to live out

 

[Apostle]

Absolutely, for all the reasons stated here.

 

[Lary]

I feel very much so, I am wanting to do it in about an hour or two; all I can think of is my mother finding me, and what it will do to my family. It is an awful tearing feeling of contradictory, wanting freedom, yet not wanting to hurt others in the process.

I hope you find peace and relief

I feel guilty in the sense that my reason for ctb is not "good enough". There are millions of other people on the planet who have things worse than me. Someone was born with incurable disease. Others are trapped inside disabilities.

And yet, myself who was "blessed" without any chronic illness whatsoever actively researching methods to ctb. This line of thinking made me feel even worse as a person. I feel like a spoiled brat, a loser who can only use "escape" as the only way to solve problems.

In fact we have a chronic illness. Depression. And that's what kills us inside and makes us want CTB

 

[Apostle]

Really, dying and living both fill me with guilt. Dying hurts my family emotionally, living just lets me continue to be destructive and parasitic. Both are quite hideously guilt-ridden options for me.

 

[uiop]

I definitely feel guilty over my CTB. I don't feel apologetic over thinking about it all the time, since I'm still alive; I do, however; feel a strong sense of remorse when I actually go through it. I told my closest friends that I'm determined to to this, but don't know when. They get apprehensive about it, and try not to mention it, as it will bring the thought back into my head.

When I do CTB though, I'll definitely feel some guilt in a sense that I'll be hurting my family (although we're not even close), as well as my closest friends. Going by my own terms allow me to at least say goodbye to them. I'll definitely break their hearts, but, ultimately, they're forced to move on.

 

[Memento Mori]

guilt feelings will be removed before ctb
just takes some time. i hope not too much

 

[Ruffian]

I hope you find peace and relief

In fact we have a chronic illness. Depression. And that's what kills us inside and makes us want CTB

This.

 

[souljah222]

I hear all my friends and family telling me it's wrong to want to kill yourself. I wish I did not have this desire, but I can not think of anything else. Does anyone else feel guilty about wanting CTB?

I feel kinda guilty bc my mom raised me for 19 years, invested so much energy and money and now im just gonna leave. But on the other hand i obv never asked to be born especially the way i am. But i dont think anyone would feel guilty if i suffer the next 50 years just so i can exist in their lives lmao so fuck that tbh

 

[Help_Me]

To be honest... I don't. This weird world should be..

 

[JadedGray]

A little when it comes to my dog, but I know that she will be in good hands. I don't feel obligated to stay here for anyone else, and no one was ever here for me anyways. I don't really have any responsibilities I'm leaving behind either. There's nothing really keeping me here or making me feel guilty about leaving.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

No guilt at all. Maybe a little for my parents. Mostly zero guilt though. I honestly don't have that many connections to people. You know what I do have? A brain that's always broken. Debts that I can't seem to pay. Jobs I can't seem to find. I haven't even thought about the possibility of having a family for years. My relationships are usually broken. I get sicker and older by the day. I feel like a lost cause floating out into nothingness. Ending it all sounds great. One day I read a few cases of people who committed suicide that made me mad. How ironic is that? I have feelings about what they do. Why should I care what they do? Here I am planning to do the same thing. That made me realize something I never noticed before.

 

[headinghome]

Hell no I don't feel guilty… I am angry that we are denied this basic right. We should be allowed to choose an end to our suffering in a humane peaceful and dignified way

 

[Ruffian]

I feel guilty in the sense that my reason for ctb is not "good enough". There are millions of other people on the planet who have things worse than me. Someone was born with incurable disease. Others are trapped inside disabilities.

And yet, myself who was "blessed" without any chronic illness whatsoever actively researching methods to ctb. This line of thinking made me feel even worse as a person. I feel like a spoiled brat, a loser who can only use "escape" as the only way to solve problems.

My primary doctor isn't an MD, he's a Physician's Assistant and really down to earth. I said something like what you're saying after a follow up for an OD. He knows a lot about my story and I remember he told me it's all relative and no one would find what I go through easy. So I say the same to you. I've even been to support groups where I thought I hadn't suffered enough. Everyone there assured me I did. You just can't compare yourself to others; it's true in most aspects of life. Unless of course someone inspires you and you try to be a better person or something.

 

[Jovan1]

I feel guilty for wanting to again and that I keep it to myself. Haven't told anyone I want ctb again after I last attempted

 

[Hotsackage]

I'm not a proponent of ctbing. But my brain has fucked me so hard. Its personal, I basically wanna show it who's boss

 

[Hhhh]

I'm selfish, and I don't care. I'll never feel guilty about it, I deserve to die and finally be at peace.

 

[GoldenWingedShip]

I feel guilty when I imagine my family grieving. I don't feel guilty for wanting to die.

 

[GeorgeJL]

It depends on the person. If they have reason to live, and they have the tools for success then they should be ashamed of it. If one does suicide as a last ditch effort to save your dignity then there is no reason to be ashamed I don't think.

Personally for me I won't be ashamed because I will be waiting until I can't go any further.

 

[Pepper]

As horrible as this sounds, no I don't feel guilty for wanting to ctb. The way I'm living right now (I'm malnourished and under a lot of anxiety and stress which has affected my cognition) is not a way to live. I'd rather ctb before my parents die because then I'm completely screwed. I can understand that it may seem selfish, but isn't it also selfish of others wanting you to live when you're in immense physical and mental pain?

 

[catwalk]

No, noone would care