Does anyone else actually feel better when they wallow in their own misery?

[takeyourshotfunboy]

Talking to other suicidal people online and listening to depressing music/reading depressing books/watching depressing movies actually makes me feel better than anything else because I can't relate to anyone IRL. I don't want to talk to some therapist's pep talks about how I need healthy coping mechanisms and self-love. I don't want to be a burden to my friends and family. I don't want to go to a mental hospital, only to return feeling just as miserable as I did when I was admitted. I can't deny my unhappiness anymore.

 

[Stan]

I think for sure that denying how you feel is more damaging. Accepting how you feel and knowing that you are not a unique freak in the universe gives something to all of us.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Some of my "happiest" memories come from a period in my life when I was utterly fucked up mentally. I had more "fun" in the two years when I was certifiably insane than any other period of life.

This is extremely relateable! I had depression throughout all my teenage years but I truly lived I had so many fun and exciting experiences I lived more in 6 months as a teenager then I have in the last 5-7 years of adulthood.

 

[Untitled]

Yes, it sometimes make me feel better if I let negative emotions flood me.

Sometimes if a friend of mine is sad and starts crying in front of me, that can feel good too because it creates a very strong sense of connection between us, and this sadness is also beautiful in a way.

It is strange to me that most people try to avoid hearing about tragic things, like it is infectious or something.

 

[Done at Fifty]

Yes. I think its because when I'm miserable I feel I'm being truly honest with myself and seeing the world for what it really is - a horror show! When I'm happy its usually for show or because I lied to myself that everything will be fine.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Yes. I think its because when I'm miserable I feel I'm being truly honest with myself and seeing the world for what it really is - a horror show! When I'm happy its usually for show or because I lied to myself that everything will be fine.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, I'm being honest with myself. I don't even feel like attempting to make myself feel better because I just feel like I'd be lying to myself and they're just feeble distractions. I am a freak and got no business being here.

 

[dmsdnd18]

I feel like i dont deserve to be happy so yeah i let the depression consume me and now its just at a point where im more comfortable being depressed than anything else

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Yup. I m not fond of the word "wallowing" because its been used as a shaming tool so often, but I know what you mean. And yes..... I purposely sabotaged myself to make sure I don't get mentally healthy, cause then Ill have to grow up, relinquish my dreams, and live as a slave in this cold, cruel dog eat dog world. I want a fair, happy paradise. I don't want suffering anymore. No more unfairness. No more being left out. This life is nasty, why waste happiness here? Yes, I am content in misery until I board that bus and say fuck em.

 

[Death_is_Escape]

If so, then perhaps it is a mechanism of self-defense?( acknowledging that one's situation in the world is not to their liking . . . .)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I hate that I wallow. But now I'm at the end of the road it's all I have. Give me one shred of hope and I will fight back.

 

[buttercup02]

I can't deny my unhappiness anymore.

Beautifully said. maybe one of the reasons we're fucking miserable is because happiness is treated like some human right. I'm still trying to accept that it's okay to feel like complete shit.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Oh absolutely and I think it's only natural. I think it's natural to feel sorry for yourself. And I think it's natural to want to be around other miserable people when you're miserable. It's a true saying, misey loves company. I mean who out of us wants to be around someone who is smiling from ear to ear with the best attitude towards life possible? Certainly not me!

I feel like i dont deserve to be happy so yeah i let the depression consume me and now its just at a point where im more comfortable being depressed than anything else

You do deserve to be happy. Everyone does. Everyone except people who hurt others ....child molester, rapistsz murderers..they don't deserve to be happy. YOU do! Believe me you do.

 

[Ness]

Absolutely, I write a lot of sad and hurting fiction mostly because exploring my suffering makes me feel a lot better than trying to pretend I'm happy.

 

[GeorgeJL]

A good Meditation is one that actually goes into negative emotions, feels them deeply and makes peace with them.

 

[Notf1xable]

I'm more comfortable when I don't have to take a smile and pretend like everything is okay. It's more stressful to put on that act and go to work, when I get home or even on here and see people acknowledging the pain and honestly ridiculousness of life it is so much better. The emotional labor of putting on a show for coworkers and customers and family members adds up. My respite is knowing there are people that talk about the cruelty of life and just how terrible it gets and being able to not be judged for that, and to not be judged for finding a way out.

 

[*KNAZ*]

I find more joy in sorrow than others find in joy. Strange as it may sound. My feelings are familiar and safe for me. Happiness and good times are uncertain and uneasy. I treat those feelings with suspicion.

 

[AgonyOnMe]

I don't know if I could say I feel better but it is most definitely comforting because I feel so guilty when I'm happy.

 

[bigj75]

I think that's the theory when you stop resisting the misery and just accept it. it's one of those universal laws. Don't pretend like you aren't depressed and in misery. Embrace it head on. It makes you feel better about it.

 

[Istanbulite]

yeah. i feel 'home'

 

[tieiwi]

Yea I love being sad. I'm just so used to feeling like shit all the time. It's become the norm for me so anything else is weird.

 

[whatevs]

I definitely relate to only enjoying music and books that echo my sentiments. I imagine something similar happens with people, that might be why I avoid them. The anxiety regarding seeing once again that you live in separate, incompatible worlds is huge for me. The little I interact with normies or "healthies" I find that they have completely different values and life experiences.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being miserable is all I know, I have never wanted to be alive. Nothing would ever make me feel better, but I know that being around anything positive makes me feel worse. There is nothing positive about living, there is nothing to be happy about, life is only pain and suffering.