Discussion Does a welfare check by LE make you more or less suicidal?

[epic]

LE are conducting welfare checks on people of this forum since a long time. Will a welfare check make you less or more suicidal and why?
For me, it's more suicidal.
1. Some rando telling my parents how I have been feeling will give them a lot of stress . It will also create a trust deficit .
2. Suicide where I live is highly stigmatied . If word gets around, I would be forever labelled as the "suicidal guy". I hate that label, I am much more than that . I don't want people running away from me nor do I want to to spoken to with pity. I like to be spoken as an equal .
3. If word gets around I am suicidal , my chances of getting a job plummet, if news reaches my employer .

Basically these people will ruin my life twice over .

 

[outrider567]

Doesn't mean anything to me

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Forced intervention always made me more suicidal. Especially since it was clear no one in the process truly gave a genuine dann.

 

[ever so lonely]

For me more, most definitely, more resolute, as in a how dare they F U to society, and everything it has made me endure, plus the stress, unexpectedness, sudden randomness, and anxiety it caused, for me then it has made me more resolute, would love to see more posts to this question, I cant imagine who it benefitted, and who honestly felt better afterwards

 

[enviro400mmc]

I think it depends quite a bit on the person but it's rarely going to be a good idea to conduct these welfare checks. It makes people anxious, will make them feel worse about themselves and is just rarely going to be of benefit to them, even from a prolifer perspective if you successfully confiscate SN from a person at a high risk of CTB imminently in the long term the risk has not really been reduced. I got lucky and the police visited while I was away so I don't really know the details of exactly what happened and did not really have to deal with anything beyond a friendly phone call from my college principal. I feel like the visit cannot have been that unpleasant or confrontational considering how I was called. However even that has kind of reminded me of my situation after a small amount of respite from what has recently been a pretty heavy suicidal feeling in the past day or 2.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

More.

I had the most severe and longest episode of depression and ADHD syptoms which coincided with some big life changes so I was freaking out, hardly even slept or ate. Went to visit family potentialkly one last time, spent a while there, talked to my partner a lot, got my sleeping cycle under control. The sleep fix really helped. New job turned out okay? So I was feeling like I'm in recovery, visiting SaSu wasn't on the agenda. The Police changed that. I hardly slept. Feeling destroyed with noone who knows me personally to talk to.

 

[affinity]

Was going to create a thread about this, but decided to search first instead.

This is a rant, so be forewarned…

Earlier this evening, I heard a knock on my door. No one (to my knowledge) knew where I was and I just figured it was building management.

No ma'am. It was two police officers. My "friend" apparently called them. I didn't mention a specific plan (I'm not that stupid), I just explained how/why things were so hopeless and how tired I was and wished for just one hour of zero stress. I figured the worst that would happen is that she'd invite me over or ask to come visit (like a friend would), but nope, I received 2 officers at my door.

I won't go into too much detail bc it's not that important (imho), but I basically told them I wasn't suicidal, that I knew of resources I could access and no, I'm not comfortable discussing what is going on. They knew they weren't getting any admissions and agreed to leave. I didn't let them in, but that of course meant my entire hallway heard that I was suicidal.

I'm just going to say this: unless you have reason to believe that someone actually attempted or is on the brink of attempting with a specific plan being shared, calling the police is going to make a bad situation worse. The officers rarely have appropriate training and make the person uncomfortable and sorry to say, but the person will never trust you again. All you've done is humiliate them and further isolate them.

You know the conclusion I've come to:

Welfare checks are rarely for the person " in need". No. It's for the person who is making the call so that they can feel they so called "did everything they could" & to assuage their own guilt. How about you get up off your ass and go and check on the person if you care.

It just hurts that the last person I trusted violated that trust. Loyalty/trust is everything to me. I will never be able to forgive them and sorry to say, they've only reinforced my decision. The sad thing? I think she'll be relieved.

 

[SoftWorries]

I was on it for a very short time when I was in a domestic abuse shelter.

It wasn't about the money I had no guilt over taking it but I was treated so horribly. So so horribly by the agents. Like I should be dead instead of getting any sort of help.

Today I was calling for my student loans and I had flashbacks. So much damage to my mental health during that time for an amount that wouldn't have possibly even been enough to have food and a roommate.

Edit: oh a welfare check not being on welfare. Well that makes a lot more sense

 

[Whale_bones]

Well said. Welfare checks are only even *supposed* to be used when someone is in imminent danger- as in, at that very moment- but since any member of the public can order one on any other member of the public, they can be and are used as intimidation and harassment tactics. Police are supposed to deal with criminals, that's their job. It's why they treat people like criminals when they're on a call. They should never be used for targeted interactions with innocent individuals who aren't even suspected of a crime. For individuals that are already highly stressed, dealing with insurmountable challenges, and/or have previous bad or even traumatizing experiences, the targeted use of police like this is damaging, risky and thoughtless.

Did the police say it was your friend specifically who called? Often they say they won't give that information, but in many of the recent welfare checks reported on this site, as well as my own experience, the police at first insisted that "someone" who knew me called, but that wasn't factual; when I continuously said there was no one who knew me who would have done that, they eventually changed the story and vaguely hinted it was something else. It turned out no one who knew me made any call or contact. I would have had no way to know that though if I hadn't seen the police's own written statement later (which they certainly weren't intending for me to see).

I just don't want you to have to lose trust in your friend if she actually didn't call, as I agree it's devastating when someone would rather use police than offer a listening ear themselves or show the slightest bit of empathy or friendship. I also wouldn't trust that person or have them in my life anymore after that. But if she actually didn't call, and has no idea this happened, it would be very unfortunate to lose that friendship because of bad timing and an unrelated situation. But hopefully there were enough specifics to identify if it was her who called or not.

I'm just going to say this: unless you have reason to believe that someone actually attempted or is on the brink of attempting with a specific plan being shared, calling the police is going to make a bad situation worse. The officers rarely have appropriate training and make the person uncomfortable and sorry to say, but the person will never trust you again. All you've done is humiliate them and further isolate them.

You know the conclusion I've come to:

Welfare checks are rarely for the person " in need". No. It's for the person who is making the call so that they can feel they so called "did everything they could" & to assuage their own guilt. How about you get up off your ass and go and check on the person if you care.

It just hurts that the last person I trusted violated that trust. Loyalty/trust is everything to me. I will never be able to forgive them and sorry to say, they've only reinforced my decision. The sad thing? I think she'll be relieved.

Forgive my poor formatting. @affinity 's quote is supposed to be at the top of my comment, so I'm quoting and replying to what they said. I can't figure out how to move the quote in an edit without it getting deleted, either. Just when I think I've got the formatting down, I somehow mess it up again

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

More. Would mean they caught on and I would have to do it fast before they admit me

 

[downndone2]

I might take my gun and use it in backyard before I opened the door if they showed up. At least someone would know they need to call my family and get dogs taken care of

 

[affinity]

I just don't want you to have to lose trust in your friend if she actually didn't call, as I agree it's devastating when someone would rather use police than offer a listening ear themselves or show the slightest bit of empathy or friendship. I also wouldn't trust that person or have them in my life anymore after that. But if she actually didn't call, and has no idea this happened, it would be very unfortunate to lose that friendship because of bad timing and an unrelated situation. But hopefully there were enough specifics to identify if it was her who called or not.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. They told me almost immediately it was her that was concerned RE texts which again, didn't mention a specific plan or ideation (again, I know how far to go and I also believe that's too much to dump on a friend in any event). I haven't heard a word from her either, so it almost feels like she's angry because she feels that I lied to her and didn't admit to them that I was suicidal. Oh well. I have enough challenges right now and can't worry about how she feels about me or the situation.

 

[Whale_bones]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. They told me almost immediately it was her that was concerned RE texts which again, didn't mention a specific plan or ideation (again, I know how far to go and I also believe that's too much to dump on a friend in any event). I haven't heard a word from her either, so it almost feels like she's angry because she feels that I lied to her and didn't admit to them that I was suicidal. Oh well. I have enough challenges right now and can't worry about how she feels about me or the situation.

Ah, I see. Well, it is a good thing you have clarity on that part of it, as I think you have a right to know that information. I've been in the same situation before, (years ago, with a friend who I subsequently stopped contact with). You always have the right to evaluate a friendship and say whether it's beneficial or damaging to your life, and if you can't even talk to someone about stress without them instigating a further stressful interaction with law enforcement aimed at you, instead of them having a meaningful conversation with you, meeting up for coffee, or any of a thousand other ways people show friendship, I think it's completely reasonable to decide that you don't want that type of relationship in your life.

It's weird to me that she hasn't checked in with you either, because any time I'm worried about a friend healthwise or if I just know they're feeling stressed/bad, I will check in with them; if her main motivation here was being concerned about you, she certainly would have contacted you to see how you're doing, especially when she knows you just had an interaction with law enforcement because of her.

So I think it's only reasonable if you decide to not trust her or not continue a friendship with her, since her actions are not justifiable and not those of a caring or empathetic friend. And you're spot on in saying that you have enough to deal with without worrying about her and her potential feelings on the situation, we all have the right to decide who is in our lives, and when they've done things like break our trust, we don't owe them any continued time or involvement.