Do you wish you had done it sooner?

[anemicamoeba]

Especially for those who have been thinking about it for years, or have attempted in the past. Were there worthwhile things that have happened on the time since?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I've had many failed attempts, going back over 20 years.

I do wish I had succeeded on my first go. But it also hurts me to think I never would have met my best friend in that case.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I first attempted 20 years ago. Yes, I wish I had succeeded.

 

[LunarLight]

No, because I eventually got better, the waiting was worth the trouble.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes yes a thousand times yes. non-existence is much preferable to this hell

non-existence forever is the ultimate bliss.

Why am i here? why do i have to work so hard suffer and risk extreme torture every day? there is no reason . life is meaningless torture

what will matter in a 1000 years? a trillion years ? nothing . nothing matters . nothing matters but avoiding long lasting unbearable pain or extreme suffering.

the reality is nothing is objectively good nor important least of all DNA based life which is the only function in the universe that causes unbearable pain , suffering and torture

i'm glad this insignificant piece of dust torture planet will be destroyed in at most a few billion years, and the universe will expand into nothingness as it has always expanded and will continue to do so forever

there is nothing worthwhile all are just meaningless imposed implanted addictions . all the dumb addictions are just bait for the extreme torture probable and almost certain in old age. a human is just cells a bug

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Yes.

 

[Hollowman]

Yes

 

[willow115]

I don't regret being alive today. I do regret having the money in the bank and the contact and passing up on the last mail-order available n. That gets me sometimes to this day.

I've had major improvement and major new traumas in this time. It's hard to balance. Overall, I am thankful I stuck around.

 

[F@#$]

Wish i'da used my dads pistol when I took it downstairs so many years ago.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course as I'd always prefer to not exist, I should have ceased existing a while ago, I truly was never meant for the futile and torturous burden of suffering in this existence and it's something I'd never wish for and it feels like I've suffered so much for so long. It feels so cruel and horrible how I simply cannot just die in peace as to me existence itself really is a terrible, horrific tragedy and to suffer in this existence is deeply undesirable to me. The thought of suffering for decades longer just to be tortured by old age is terrifying to me, but more than anything I wish I never suffered in this cruel existence at all, I never should have existed and there's so much pain in how I did.

 

[NegevChina]

The more I stay around the more damage is inflicted to my relationships with family and friends. I've flipped from being my family supporter to a jobless needy man. I need to leave soon but I haven't decided on a method. No peaceful method available for me. Its jumping or train for me because CO is not reliable enough and I cant afford to fail.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Yes. I have been waiting for something to change, for it to "get better". Sadly, I realized that I have been deluding myself. Should have caught that bus long time ago, this has only been a waste of time and more suffering.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

Absolutely. About a year ago I had easy access to a firearm. I just ended up chickening out and feeling like an idiot.

 

[BoredNTired]

There were some worthwhile things, but my life has been and will likely continue to be a net negative. I though I would hold out to see if things got better till I was 21 and could buy a gun, but I'm checking out 2 years earlier because it's all proved to be even more unpleasant than I thought. I should've honestly CTB years ago, the wait was an absolute mistake.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes as I believe that an earlier death is better than a later death and that the earlier I die, the better. Of course I didn't have access to anything that could have let me escape existence sooner and I still don't have access to anything that could help me escape existence but it will always be true that an earlier death is better than a later death

 

[Calliandras]

I dunno, do you think loving someone and losing them is better then never loving at all?
The First time I was 14 and had no clue what I was doing. If I had succeded then I would've never met the love of my life, who left me at 20.
Then I tried again at 22, 23 and 25, and ALL of these I wish had worked out. It would have saved me a Lot of heartache.

 

[supremelimbo]

yes nothing good has happened to me
my friend says he's glad i failed (we reconnected a year after my most recent attempt which i told him about)
i like talking to him but i'm convinced i just make his life worse. he says he doesn't mind. he's the only good thing in my life. but i know he'd be so much better without having to worry about me. he's always texting me freaking out that i did something or asking me if i ate or something. i think he'd be happier if he didn't have this deadweight (me) to carry

 

[HereIGoAgain24]

It's complicated for me. I pulled out of a suicide pact about two years ago. In the time since, I've had a legitimately great girlfriend and enjoyed some time teaching in Vietnam. It's the kind of stuff that would have, in another world, filled me with a far greater sense of purpose.
However, the world around us has only become bleaker- we've continued on this path of greed and power madness that can only lead to destruction. And that's not something I want to be around for. So on that level, I do wish I had CTB earlier.