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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
I frequently watch videos of suicide and murder. I don't get some sick pleasure out of it, part of me even feels a bit uncomfortable watching...but the morbid curiosity just gets to me. I want to see what happens moments after death using different methods. I watch these videos and fill with jealously. Most people commit without flinching... then after a few videos I realize I could of died (x) many times during them.

I don't know...i feel like a virgin who watches porn because they can't get laid
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
If I can find them, yes, I watch them. Like you, I want to see what could/would happen to me. And, like you, I feel envy (and admiration) for the successful.
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
If I can find them, yes, I watch them. Like you, I want to see what could/would happen to me. And, like you, I feel envy (and admiration) for the successful.

I watch them daily on a site called (removed) ". It's got lots of videos to cringe through. Be warned though, it's basically as bad as it gets. From pretty vanilla injuries to shit that will haunt you forever. (Nothing illegal to watch) but I just stick to the suicide section. I've watched hundreds...

It's also confirmed a few methods are not for me lol. Do you skip to the point of impact? Or will you watch the 30mins if it's a 30min video?
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
No I don't. I find it disturbing just reading this.
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
No I don't. I find it disturbing just reading this.

Well I think it's fair to say I am disturbed. Im on the correct forum right? Reading a paragraph of somebody watching a video of something we all came here for is disturbing you?
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Yeah it is. I'm not judging you for it. Whatever you grow up with just becomes normal once enough people do it and I worry for anyone growing up now with that stuff out there. The internets robbing children of their childhood and making humanity regress to a point I have little hope for it and that genuinely makes me depressed. Watching this stuff has little to do with being suicidal in my opinion. People didn't used to go and watch public executions because they were suicidal. Or maybe they did and others suffering made them feel better. That's how truly selfish people are. Where is empathy? Nowhere that's where. I can't understand why it's even legal. People need protecting from themselves. If the person who made best gore commited suicide I might watch that but that would be an exception. I've heard about the people in the comments and what I'd really like is for them to switch places
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
Yeah it is. I'm not judging you for it. Whatever you grow up with just becomes normal once enough people do it and I worry for anyone growing up now with that stuff out there. The internets robbing children of their childhood and making humanity regress to a point I have little hope for it and that genuinely makes me depressed. Watching this stuff has little to do with being suicidal in my opinion. People didn't used to go and watch public executions because they were suicidal. Or maybe they did and others suffering made them feel better. That's how truly selfish people are. Where is empathy? Nowhere that's where. I can't understand why it's even legal. People need protecting from themselves. If the person who made best gore commited suicide I might watch that but that would be an exception. I've heard about the people in the comments and what I'd really like is for them to switch places

I appreciate the non judgmental attitude. It's not something I'm proud of. Your logic doesn't apply to my situation. I was not raised around gore, or death or violence. People watch it for a multitude of reasons. I do have to agree that it's messed up that kids can grow up with it. I'm an adult. I just don't really like how it's kind of being implied I "enjoy others suffering" or "I don't watch it because I'm suicidal". The thought isn't completely flawed, but you have no idea why I watch theses. Actually, you do, I said it, but in your opinion, I'm wrong? I get you're not trying to be judgmental but you're kinda being judgemental. People who watch these things have no empathy? Bold statement.

I agree the "community" there is completely toxic, and the guy who runs it IS a P.O.S. His captions are horrible...but I want to watch the videos. Doesn't mean I have no empathy or I'm enjoying it. I don't get a bowl of popcorn and my favourite blanket when I watch them. I'm typically bawling my eyes out as I watch.
 
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Haku

Haku

Walking ThePathOfSorrow, destination Denebokshiri
Oct 12, 2019
270
I dont watch videos with real people actually committing suicide on video, but I do watch alot of suicide shows and movies, mostly Japanese. There was one actual suicide video I watched a long time ago, it was someone who worked in politics, I think he screwed up big time, and he shot himself after a meeting with his cabinet members, in front of them. I thought it was fake, but alot of people in the comments section said it was real, It must have been because that video was taken down from YouTube.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Ok then it's a form of self destruction but it's putting money into that arseholes pocket. He deserves to die there's no two ways about it. I think the harm it's causing is going to be irreparable. The evidence is there to see already although there's undoubtedly plenty of other factors. Something somewhere has gone horribly wrong
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
I dont watch videos with real people actually committing suicide on video, but I do watch alot of suicide shows and movies, mostly Japanese. There was one actual suicide video I watched a long time ago, it was someone who worked in politics, I think he screwed up big time, and he shot himself after a meeting with his cabinet members, in front of them. I thought it was fake, but alot of people in the comments section said it was real, It must have been because that video was taken down from YouTube.

Pretty sure you're reffering to Robert Dwyer. That one was crazy...doing it live and in front of all those people...We should really be minimizing the damage our suicides create...and he definitely didn't take that into mind.
Ok then it's a form of self destruction but it's putting money into that arseholes pocket. He deserves to die there's no two ways about it. I think the harm it's causing is going to be irreparable. The evidence is there to see already although there's undoubtedly plenty of other factors. Something somewhere has gone horribly wrong

Yea I'm not going to argue that...he is definitely one of the worst people I've ever read words from. It's inevitable though, the shock culture. You cannot censor the Internet. As long as we have that freedom, these things will exist. He can die and another site will take his place. Boycotting the site is pointless in my opinion. He will get what's coming to him, I'm not going to waste my time waiting.
 
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Haku

Haku

Walking ThePathOfSorrow, destination Denebokshiri
Oct 12, 2019
270
Pretty sure you're reffering to Robert Dwyer. That one was crazy...doing it live and in front of all those people...We should really be minimizing the damage our suicides create...and he definitely didn't take that into mind.


Yea I'm not going to argue that...he is definitely one of the worst people I've ever read words from. It's inevitable though, the shock culture. You cannot censor the Internet. As long as we have that freedom, these things will exist. He can die and another site will take his place. Boycotting the site is pointless in my opinion. He will get what's coming to him, I'm not going to waste my time waiting.
I dont remember his name, but yes you are correct.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Pretty sure you're reffering to Robert Dwyer. That one was crazy...doing it live and in front of all those people...We should really be minimizing the damage our suicides create...and he definitely didn't take that into mind.


Yea I'm not going to argue that...he is definitely one of the worst people I've ever read words from. It's inevitable though, the shock culture. You cannot censor the Internet. As long as we have that freedom, these things will exist. He can die and another site will take his place. Boycotting the site is pointless in my opinion. He will get what's coming to him, I'm not going to waste my time waiting.
Well child porns illegal and it's a good job because I wonder how many more people would watch it out of "morbid curiosity" if it wasn't. Better to just think it is then there's no temptation at all. Bad things happen, it doesn't mean they need to be seen. Why would they be filmed in the first place if they didn't know there was an audience waiting for it? It's supply and demand and chicken and egg. Rather than harm one person it's harming everyone who watches it like the fucking Ring
 
Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
Well child porns illegal and it's a good job because I wonder how many more people would watch it out of "morbid curiosity" if it wasn't. Better to just think it is then there's no temptation at all. Bad things happen, it doesn't mean they need to be seen. Why would they be filmed in the first place if they didn't know there was an audience waiting for it? It's supply and demand and chicken and egg. Rather than harm one person it's harming everyone who watches it like the fucking Ring

Now you're just confusing me. Why was child porn brought up? I'm sorry if I offended you but I'm tired of this conversation. I watch videos of suicide out of morbid curiosity, self destruction as you said I guess, and to see first hand what I might leave behind. I don't really care if you believe me or have a problem with that. I was just wondering if anybody else did, or this makes me even more of an outcast.
 
Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
I can understand some people wanting to watch these videos for an educational point of view on the method and what to expect. But linking this site to such gore sites does not, in my opinion reflect well on this forum. It's guilty by association. To think that this site is not being watched daily by outside forces trying to discredit it and show that it has a purpose of pushing people over the edge is an ignorant position from us all. Someone linked to that site here a few weeks ago without much warning of what was to be seen, I was pretty pissed off by that as that was the last thing I needed to see at that particular time of day.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Right. Sorry. I thought the general topic was worth discussing since you brought it up. This isn't a personal attack so you don't have to be defensive. If you're done with it I'm quite happy to not talk about it again
 
Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
I can understand some people wanting to watch these videos for an educational point of view on the method and what to expect. But linking this site to such gore sites does not, in my opinion reflect well on this forum. It's guilty by association. To think that this site is not being watched daily by outside forces trying to discredit it and show that it has a purpose of pushing people over the edge is an ignorant position from us all. Someone linked to that site here a few weeks ago without much warning of what was to be seen, I was pretty pissed off by that as that was the last thing I needed to see at that particular time of day.

That's tottaly fair. I didn't link and I tried to give a warning. I would go back and edit out the name if I could to make you feel better but I can't. I don't really think this forum has to worry about its reflection too much. It's not like the two sites are related or linking to each other. Whoever is "monitoring" this forum isn't going to be able to convict this website guilty by association because somebody mentioned a gore website. I tried to bring this up in the most appropriate manner I could, as I could really use somebody to talk to about it, rather then having to defend myself. I know it's fucked up. I'm sorry for making another red flag for this anonymous overwatcher and damaging your repuation, but I need somebody to talk to. Maybe I came to the wrong place after all.
Right. Sorry. I thought the general topic was worth discussing since you brought it up. This isn't a personal attack so you don't have to be defensive. If you're done with it I'm quite happy to not talk about it again

I did not bring that up. We were pretty on topic until you mentioned that, which makes me think we are not even close to the same page, so why continue the conversation. I am getting defensive anyway you're right. I know I'm messed up, but I'm so far away from anything you've brought up regarding this. Thanks for the chat.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
That's tottaly fair. I didn't link and I tried to give a warning. I would go back and edit out the name if I could to make you feel better but I can't. I don't really think this forum has to worry about its reflection too much. It's not like the two sites are related or linking to each other. Whoever is "monitoring" this forum isn't going to be able to convict this website guilty by association because somebody mentioned a gore website. I tried to bring this up in the most appropriate manner I could, as I could really use somebody to talk to about it, rather then having to defend myself. I know it's fucked up. I'm sorry for making another red flag for this anonymous overwatcher and damaging your repuation, but I need somebody to talk to. Maybe I came to the wrong place after all.
I don't think your question was wrong or invalid at all. I don't think you need to defend yourself because you put your position forward in a very good way that was neither offensive and showed true honesty. I think that you were just unlucky that the first few responders were in the 'no' camp. That being said, if someone said to me they had a complete video of someone going through taking SN would I watch it? I'd probably struggle with my morality for a few minutes and then hit the play button because i would like to see what really happens. You will probably find a few people here who watch the videos so I would not hide in the shadows just because of the first comments you received. And you are in exactly the right place to talk about this, as we are all in the right place to talk about what is going through our minds.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
That's tottaly fair. I didn't link and I tried to give a warning. I would go back and edit out the name if I could to make you feel better but I can't. I don't really think this forum has to worry about its reflection too much. It's not like the two sites are related or linking to each other. Whoever is "monitoring" this forum isn't going to be able to convict this website guilty by association because somebody mentioned a gore website. I tried to bring this up in the most appropriate manner I could, as I could really use somebody to talk to about it, rather then having to defend myself. I know it's fucked up. I'm sorry for making another red flag for this anonymous overwatcher and damaging your repuation, but I need somebody to talk to. Maybe I came to the wrong place after all.


I did not bring that up. We were pretty on topic until you mentioned that, which makes me think we are not even close to the same page, so why continue the conversation. I am getting defensive anyway you're right. I know I'm messed up, but I'm so far away from anything you've brought up regarding this. Thanks for the chat.
I only mentioned it in regards to the legality of the internet. It wasn't a judgment of your character. I'm not always good at making things clear but none of this was meant to be personal so apologies if it seemed that way
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
I don't think your question was wrong or invalid at all. I don't think you need to defend yourself because you put your position forward in a very good way that was neither offensive and showed true honesty. I think that you were just unlucky that the first few responders were in the 'no' camp. That being said, if someone said to me they had a complete video of someone going through taking SN would I watch it? I'd probably struggle with my morality for a few minutes and then hit the play button because i would like to see what really happens. You will probably find a few people here who watch the videos so I would not hide in the shadows just because of the first comments you received. And you are in exactly the right place to talk about this, as we are all in the right place here to talk about what is going through our minds.

Thank you. I understand and would actually expect most people to be in the "no" camp. I was surprised the first reply was yes. I must of just mistaken your tone given the other conversation I was having here. I wasn't attacked but I definitely thought you were slowly backing away from me with your hands out lol. It's weird defending something you're not really proud of. It's not like I ever implied this was normal behaviour..just looking to talk really. These videos have made a big impact on how I look at things, for better or worse. It's completely fine to turn a blind eye to such horrors if they unsettle you.
I only mentioned it in regards to the legality of the internet. It wasn't a judgment of your character. I'm not always good at making things clear but none of this was meant to be personal so apologies if it seemed that way

I see. It's ok, it felt a bit personal at the beginning, but it also felt unintentional. No worries here.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It's not ignorance. It's just not helping anyone if there's nothing I can do to make it better. All I can do is not make it worse. Just knowing about is has opened my eyes and there's nothing positive to take away from it. Seeing it would probably be the final straw. We live in a time everyone wants their shot at fame and I'm not going to give it them. When I'm all set on going maybe I will go on just to talk to the them. See if there's still a person in there somewhere
I'm slow at typing, always a message behind. If I've made it worse again don't let me, I'm not worth it. I can't help how I feel.
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
It's not ignorance. It's just not helping anyone if there's nothing I can do to make it better. All I can do is not make it worse. Just knowing about is has opened my eyes and there's nothing positive to take away from it. Seeing it would probably be the final straw. We live in a time everyone wants their shot at fame and I'm not going to give it them. When I'm all set on going maybe I will go on just to talk to the them. See if there's still a person in there somewhere

I'm confused again. You seem upset, and I don't know if it's with me, with what I'm doing, or with what I brought up. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Goodnight. No it's not with you. You seem too nice for this shit. I cry for humanity
 
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T

timetogo12345

Member
Oct 13, 2019
11
No I don't. I find it disturbing just reading this.

It's not disturbing at all. You're a on forum dedicated to discussing suicide methods, and you think watching videos of actual commited suicides is disturbing? Lmao. Why are you even on this forum at all? You think everyone should attempt to commit sucide while ignorant of any existing footage? We should be learning from those who were kind enough to leave footage for us to learn from.

Where is empathy? Nowhere that's where.

Where is your empathy? Are you serious about commiting suicide, or just looking for attention on this forum?

If you are serious, you should be doing as much research as you can to maximize your chances of success. Such research includes watching actual footage of successful and unsuccessful suicides, so you can learn what they did/did not do correct, and what they could have improved upon.

Don't try to dissuade others from learning by telling them it is disturbing that they are doing so. Stop harassing OP for trying to learn from videos.

We should be approaching suicide with an analytical mindset, encouraging analysis of suicide footage, so that we may improve our understanding of the subject as a community. IMO there should be a dedicated thread for video discussion, but I understand that having one may incur liability for the forum, so it's not a 100% safe idea for the forum. But individual users should take it upon themselves to seek out footage to know what they are getting themselves into. Don't go into it blind.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I don't know what you want from me so I'll just say fine.
 
Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
I don't search for them specifically. Just watch if anything shows up accidently. Well, I feel some sort of admiration and inspiration. I envy them, they have gone forever and don't have to suffer anymore..
 
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T

timetogo12345

Member
Oct 13, 2019
11
I'm confused again. You seem upset, and I don't know if it's with me, with what I'm doing, or with what I brought up. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight.

You didn't do anything wrong. Good on you for trying to educate yourself on subject, and expose yourself to the harsh reality of suicides. I think we should all be watching videos so that we may learn and lessen the fear of the unknown. Exposure to successful suicide footage will make suicide feel less terrifying and alien, and more understood and mechanical.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
You're at the point you want out and that's all that matters. I unfortunately still care about this godforsaken place. It's one thing having your own problems to deal with but I put the weight of the world on my shoulders.
 
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Im2high4this

Im2high4this

I’m done here. Zero connections. Won’t miss it.
Jun 13, 2019
126
I don't search for them specifically. Just watch if anything shows up accidently. Well, I feel some sort of admiration and inspiration. I envy them, they have gone forever and don't have to suffer anymore..

It inspires me too. It's not impossible.
You didn't do anything wrong. Good on you for trying to educate yourself on subject, and expose yourself to the harsh reality of suicides. I think we should all be watching videos so that we may learn and lessen the fear of the unknown. Exposure to successful suicide footage will make suicide feel less terrifying and alien, and more understood and mechanical.

Thanks, I do agree. I see the other side of the coin, but that's how I feel too.
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Yes I do.
I watch them obsessively, both videos and photos. I watch so many I have trouble falling asleep at night, could easily go over 50 pages a day.
I know what Im going to say is disturbing but I like most to view decaying corpses of suicides that havent been found for some time after death and also photos of them stripped down on an autopsy table. Sometimes it turns me on. Im sick I know.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Yes I do.
I watch them obsessively, both videos and photos. I watch so many I have trouble falling asleep at night, could easily go over 50 pages a day.
I know what Im going to say is disturbing but I like most to view decaying corpses of suicides that havent been found for some time after death and also photos of them stripped down on an autopsy table. Sometimes it turns me on. Im sick I know.
Thankyou. You've made my case for me
 
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