Discussion Do you want people to feel guilty about your suicide?

[Forever Sleep]

I've just been reading through the thread asking whether you want people to know your death was a suicide and it forced me to think of this question.

When I read threads from people who want to make their intentional deaths look like an accident, I'm always so touched because it's so evident how much they want to spare their loved ones the pain and possible guilt of knowing the truth.

It's made me question why I would want people to know I had intentionally done it. I guess for me, there were people in childhood who set me on this path but honestly- I feel like they display so many narcissistic traits, they would be unlikely to care- let alone feel any guilt.

A big part of me would hate for friends and family to feel guilt and I would try to allay anything like that in notes left behind. Still, that doesn't really align with me wanting people to know the truth because I suspect it would create some guilt in them.

Do you think there is a part of you that wants people to realise they had failed you? Do you think we want society as a whole to feel guilty for our deaths? It sends out a clear message that life was just too awful to carry on with afterall.

It's odd- on the one hand- I feel like largely, we alone carry the responsibility to take care of ourselves without depending on other people. On the other hand though, we are born into a community where we are all expected to contribute. I think a lot of the time, people just end up feeling exploited by all the people and corporations around them and then just tossed aside when we're no longer useful.

It's a bit of a rambling thread- thank you if you've gotten this far. Just wondered what your thoughts are? It's a fascinating community here (in a tragic way). Some of you have known terrible horrors where there are very clearly people to 'blame' for where you are. I think others are just so used to being battered around by life that there's no more energy to feel resentment and they just want out.

I know of course- when we're dead, it won't make a difference who feels what. It just highlighted a conflict in me though and I wanted to see what other people felt.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't want anyone to feel anything, I would like to be forgotten about like I never existed at all. It simply couldn't matter to me what others would say or do when I'm dead as I won't be there at that point. It's comforting the thought of me being permanently gone from this cruel nightmarish world, there's really nothing more ideal.

 

[lifeORdeath]

No I want the opposite I don't want revenge. I want peace.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Unfortunately the only people likely to feel guilty are the ones who cared and didn't do anything wrong, that's the nature of people. I think its inevitable if you go, you can only try to make people suffer the least as possible from your passing.

 

[makethepainstop]

I have spent a bit of my life worrying about other family members. My departure is MY escape from pain, there should be no guilt as I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND MY DEATH. Let no one attempt any interference in my personal matters.

 

[Shivali]

No! No! No !!!

 

[AliceTheGoon]

I hope the doctor who dismissed my degenerative condition feels guilty. Not that she's worse than any other doctor in that regard but they need to promote epigenetic research into multi-systemic syndromes and stop shrugging away symptoms. Death is the only thing anyone takes seriously...nobody cares that you don't feel well, especially if you're a middle-aged man.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Not at all

 

[Hirokami]

No, it's no one fault if I went through with ending my life. Things got to be too much is all.

 

[makethepainstop]

Don't want people to feel anything, I just want out of here. And where is that US postal guy with my damn SN? Also known as the holy powder of liberation!

 

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

The way I like to put it now is "The game is rigged, I am not going to play it".
I try to empathise with those who brought me into this world, and now I wish they empathise me as I want an exit.

I think others are just so used to being battered around by life that there's no more energy to feel resentment and they just want out.

I relate to this a lot. Unlike some people here, I have never faced anything "that serious", anything that would be worth a newspaper article, for instance. But the relatively small troubles in life just add up and are swallowing me now. There might be a few people who are more responsible for those troubles than others, but at this point, I don't want to blame anyone. I see my suicide (if/when it happens) as, as Sarah Perry put it, an ethically privileged response to the badness of life.

Like peace out, I am going. Have fun you all, all who want to live. I either didn't get along well with you all, or was pulling you all down anyways. So let's just part ways.


But yeah I am too tired to implement this now. Just hope to get enough energy and impulse one day that I push myself beyond the edge, just throw myself into the bus. But I don't know if/when it will happen

 

[spectraltease]

Nah, not guilt. I dont do it for fame or some shit but it would be funny if they talk about me. They will.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Hell, no. They don't have anything to do with it. My suicide is strictly between me and my disgraceful self.

 

[lionetta12]

I've just been reading through the thread asking whether you want people to know your death was a suicide and it forced me to think of this question.

When I read threads from people who want to make their intentional deaths look like an accident, I'm always so touched because it's so evident how much they want to spare their loved ones the pain and possible guilt of knowing the truth.

It's made me question why I would want people to know I had intentionally done it. I guess for me, there were people in childhood who set me on this path but honestly- I feel like they display so many narcissistic traits, they would be unlikely to care- let alone feel any guilt.

A big part of me would hate for friends and family to feel guilt and I would try to allay anything like that in notes left behind. Still, that doesn't really align with me wanting people to know the truth because I suspect it would create some guilt in them.

Do you think there is a part of you that wants people to realise they had failed you? Do you think we want society as a whole to feel guilty for our deaths? It sends out a clear message that life was just too awful to carry on with afterall.

It's odd- on the one hand- I feel like largely, we alone carry the responsibility to take care of ourselves without depending on other people. On the other hand though, we are born into a community where we are all expected to contribute. I think a lot of the time, people just end up feeling exploited by all the people and corporations around them and then just tossed aside when we're no longer useful.

It's a bit of a rambling thread- thank you if you've gotten this far. Just wondered what your thoughts are? It's a fascinating community here (in a tragic way). Some of you have known terrible horrors where there are very clearly people to 'blame' for where you are. I think others are just so used to being battered around by life that there's no more energy to feel resentment and they just want out.

I know of course- when we're dead, it won't make a difference who feels what. It just highlighted a conflict in me though and I wanted to see what other people felt.

The people making my life insufferable are all real narcissists and full blown psychos so I don't expect any of them to feel anything, nor do I want them to. Revenge is beyond me and I don't want to hurt anyone, even though they have hurt me.

 

[mojabaka]

Yes, I hope my mother and all the idiots working at Pfizer feel guilty, but I know that both of them won't. Can't say that I care anyway though.

 

[Life_and_Death]

depends on the person. some people (like my parents, bullies, certain other people) yes. f you. other people like my SO, no, id rather keep any thoughts that it could have possibly been him away

 

[whywhywhy]

Wish there was a peaceful method that actually looks like an accident, the closest thing for me would be taking the car and on my way to work or something crash alone but its incredibly hard to pull of. If such a method was available I wouldnt even leave a note, nobody would ever know.

 

[Made4TV]

Unfortunately the only people likely to feel guilty are the ones who cared and didn't do anything wrong, that's the nature of people. I think its inevitable if you go, you can only try to make people suffer the least as possible from your passing.

Yeah so much this. If people weren't good to you in real life, it's possible they lack a meaningful amount of empathy. In which case it wouldn't matter. I cringe every time I see someone say they want to do it to send a message. I once cut off my family for 8 years. They got that message, and I didn't have to give up my life to send it. They would have deflected any guilt anyway.

 

[akirat9]

No I will die

 

[NoLightRemains]

Do you think there is a part of you that wants people to realise they had failed you? Do you think we want society as a whole to feel guilty for our deaths? It sends out a clear message that life was just too awful to carry on with afterall.

I really don't want people to feel guilt on an individual level and am trying to write my notes to alleviate that as much as possible. But I do feel like society has let me (and countless others) down, and plan on talking about that in my note.

It's not any one individual's fault, I just don't want to exist in this society. I could take these thoughts to the grave, but I feel like I need to get a last word in. Just a couple sentences summarizing the dread I feel living among humans. Or maybe I'll change my mind and take my hatred for society to the grave with me. Probably the kinder thing to do.

 

[gomenasai]

Yes, I want them to feel guilty. My parents are the bane of my existence.
But I mostly want peace. The end of this relentless torture

 

[outrider567]

I don't care if anyone else feels any guilt or not--I wake up each morning so depressed all the time that I can barely stand it

 

[squidhead]

Initially, I did.
I wanted them to know how much they hurt me and pushed me around, how much their actions and their way to be affected me and influenced my decision to exit this life. I wanted to write the most stingy, hateful note I could think of to give them a taste of their own medicine, so to speak. Something that would keep them awake at night and stay with them for the rest of their lives. Yeah... it was that hateful.

However, the more I kept ruminating on this the more it seemed asinine and pointless. Of course, thats just my view on it. Your view on the matter could be different and we`d both be right for we`re different, with different experiences.
Now, all I want is to be completely forgotten once Im gone. Erased from existence and from peoples minds, which luckily wont be a hard task given my very very restricted circle of "loved ones".

Not only that, but I wish everyone else the best too. I dont think most people hurt others intentionally, its just we`re selfish, arrogant beings as much as we like to deny it so we`re bound to hurt others at some point, without even so much as realizing it. Add to that being raised a certain way in a specific environment and in the end, all we do is repeat the circle endlessly more or less the same way we`ve been taught, simply because we dont know better.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

Like other people in this thread, I wish I could just peacefully fade away and afterwards it would be like I never existed in the first place.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Fortunately I have no family or friends to feel any guilt in the event of my passing! All I care about is going over Rainbow Bridge with my 2 late Staffies, as that will be the only way l'll find the peace l crave

 

[outatime_85]

Regardless of how I go, no one who knows me is going to feel guilty or think anything.

No reminiscing, nothing.

For them, my death and funeral, if there is a funeral, would just be another day, and then it's back to their life as usual.

 

[potablewater784]

I hope my family feels bad about my suicide. They're the ones who made me feel like this and they deserve it

 

[myfinalform]

No, even my mom said if i do kill myself i should do it away from her house, cold like that, and she probably one of the fews that "will miss me if im gone" i doubt she would cry in my funeral tho. i just wish my friends go to my funeral cause i miss them but thats a fantasy they never would attend to it

 

[JayLa16]

No. I hope my loved ones will understand in time; I want them to be happy even though I am not.

 

[Shikamaru]

Absolutely not.