Do you think you will actually do ctb?

[bestroper]

.

 

[trashprincess]

I keep trying to make my life better and it only ever gets worse. I'll keep looking for a solution but my brain is only going to allow me so much time for this.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

No but I wish I could.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I believe I will. I have tried everything to recover from my dissociative disorder, to get mental health and Autism support, to have something to wake up for and look forward to but all of them failed. I feel like my entire life is not salvageable anymore and I don't see a way out.

I really did want to get better but I'm out of options.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case all I wish for is to permanently not exist, I have no interest in something so hellish, harmful and evil as existence, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, only nothingness is desirable to me. If peaceful ways to ctb like Nembutal became available then of course I'd free myself from the futile, torturous burden of existing of a human but sadly suicide isn't straightforward, in fact for me it's something inaccessible.
I despise how we exist in this world where there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all, what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering.

 

[Agon321]

Everything indicates that yes. I had already planned CTB for the end of 2022, but as you can see, I'm still here :). I keep changing my CTB dates. However, soon I will have no choice. I haven't worked since June last year and I don't really do anything constructive. I don't have much money left and I can't imagine going back to work. I also feel more and more bored with the world, so I have additional motivation. CTB is the only rational solution for me. Death is abstract to my mind, but I will die sooner or later anyway, so I prefer to die sooner.

 

[derpyderpins]

I won't now. It was in the cards for many years, and I came close, but I won't at this point. Those years affected me enough that I still think about it all the time and obviously want to come here and discuss the subject.

 

[sserafim]

Yes I only need to get over SI and the fear of failure

 

[falling_snow]

I dont think so. its just that im a piece of shit, i dont think i could do this right. but if i manage to get sn, h2s, co, or any other peaceful method, i will.

 

[sserafim]

I dont think so. its just that im a piece of shit, i dont think i could do this right. but if i manage to get sn, h2s, co, or any other peaceful method, i will.

Why do you want H2S? I heard it was painful

 

[HereTomorrow]

Probably not, but I can't fully make that direct promise.
I'm plagued with a ton of life regrets and not able to catch up to the world's demands. To CTB is merely a permanent escape from the consequences of my own actions, and a last resort should my life go deeper then rock bottom. Also massive fear of failure and permanent injury. Fantasizing my death and completing it are two different things.

 

[wanttodie]

Hope so

 

[UglyInk]

definitelly

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I really fear for the future, because my health situation is worsening and I'm too chickenshit to ctb.

When I joined the site years ago, I was much more heavily medicated. So the concept of ctb unfazed me, and N was available at that time. When that fell away, I realized that SN wasn't going to cut it for me. So now I've tapered off most of my psych meds, with my only option being a really rough method that I don't think I can go through with.

I'm definitely afraid to be trapped in this body for decades. I only hope I don't live a really long time.

 

[Cakeisalie]

This question is equivalent being asked if someone believes they will die in the future.

 

[MindFrog]

I want to but there's people who want me dead and I'm waiting for them to die first :).

 

[littlebean]

I would only do it if I managed to setup a peaceful way out

 

[Dliena]

Sooner or later.