Do you think you ‘deserve’ to die?

[M4rii]

hard to say. If I look at what I did. then yes.

But when I look at what others have done to me. then no

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I deserve to die but not due to any self loathing reasons that people on this thread have. Unlike you, I don't see death as a bad thing but rather as a good thing. I deserve death because I deserve the best and I think that death is second best to being a young billionaire or a young neet (none of which I can sadly become). The reason why I see death as a good thing is because I think that death is just permanent non existence and it'd be impossible to suffer whilst being permanently non existent. All I want in life is minimising my suffering since pleasure and pain are asymmetrical with the presence of the latter being far worse than the deprivation of the former.

I don't hate myself because, at the end of the day, I only have myself to rely on and trust on. You can't trust anybody else in life but you can trust yourself

 

[vampire2002]

no, i just deserved better. a better life, a better childhood, a better family. just better circumstances that didn't leave me permanently mentally and physically damaged seemingly beyond repair. which is what makes me want to die. i think everyone deserves these things, but most don't get them.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, personally I believe I don't deserve to suffer in this terrible and torturous existence that has caused me nothing but pain, I don't deserve the agony of suffering for decades longer just to be tormented dying in agony from old age. For me personally existence itself is the problem and I'd prefer to permanently cease existing no matter what, I'm not meant for existing, I only hope and wish for eternal nothingness where I cannot suffer anymore, I only find comfort in never existing again.

 

[null_blank]

Yes. I've been party to and perpetrator of some awful things and while I don't know how the story ended for the others, I do know that I feel this is the only way any scales can balance.

It's hard to reconcile this deeply-held feeling with my beliefs but then I'm also made imperfect and will not understand everything anyways.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Nah, I don't.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I think "deserve" is a double-edged sword. One can mean deserve as in "you deserve a prize" or the opposite "you deserved that" in an insulting way. You intended the second meaning in this post and here's my view on my case:

I'm honestly split into two, a side of me doesn't deserve to die while the other is the opposite and wholeheartedly deserves to be gone for my safety and the safety of others around me. But how can I know which one determines whether or not I should live? I didn't do anything atrocious as well, I am simply sociopathic/psychopathic in some ways and don't feel emotions the way most people do but that's like a side of me, the other is "a normal person".

But I think that a person is more than their individual aspects so if I must take everything into account I think I do deserve to die due to that side even if suppressed. Still a danger to my mind.

But if instead we see a person's worth as MORE than the mere sum of their aspects then maybe, just maybe I would be worth be giving a shot.

Under all problems and everything I can attest and mean that I'm not that bad and still am good in some ways. But my worthiness of living is a secondary reason of why I want to CTB at the moment.

 

[thinvy]

Currently, right at this moment? No, not really. I did a lot of wrong in my life, but so has everyone. It's mostly little wrongs, like hiding at work for a while because I'm tired of doing work, or not cleaning up after myself all the time. Me dying won't fix most all of what I've fucked up, and I didn't really do anything that heinous that I can recall tbh. I'm still not a great person, I'm selfish and a coward, but like... objectively, I wouldn't condemn someone else to death if they went through the same shit as me and did the same shit as me. I'm still massively suicidal, and I still plan to kill myself before I hit 27, but genuinely? I've made peace with a lot of my past. most of what makes me want to die is what was done to me, and how I'll never be able to live a normal life now.

edit: read a few more responses, and I guess I do see myself as "deserving" to choose my own death as a reward for all this suffering. I'm tired and in pain, I deserve to be done and take the big nap.

 

[kilowatt]

I deserve death both as an eternal punishment and relief

 

[Nothing87]

Yes absolutely I deserve to die, and I always see myself as a bad person considering how many people I've hurt due to my stupidity and bad decisions in life. If I die I know people around me will be happy and be in peace, and if ever hell exist I will definitely deserve to be there.

The universe always pull a middle finger on me because I was such a shitty person.

 

[maynoname]

Sometimes I do think I deserved better. But sometimes, many things come in my mind, and I do think I deserve to die.
It's not like I killed someone or something like that. But I'm a mess. I'm not supposed to deal with life.

 

[GetReadyy]

I can't handle what I went through anymore. I lost my family and I was raped. I can't go to the police. I'm being blackmailed. Maybe it's best if I die

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes because Death is non-existence forever. Non-existence forever is the ultimate bliss, total peace , no pain, no problems , no suffering, no bad memories, no boredom etc . Non-existence > Life

 

[pariah80]

I don't hate myself and I'm not an evil person. So, I don't think I deserve a horrible death. However, I deserve better than what I got from life. Only death offers relief and release. For me, death isn't a bad thing. Maybe the way someone experiences death can be bad. But death is coming, whether I deserve it or not.