Do you think this would be perceived as “attention seeking”?

[stilhavinightmares]

I've gotten treated like shit by providers who assumed I had BPD mostly because I used to cut a lot. Not many providers will actually listen to me and have their own assumptions without proper assessment.

I've been taking some old BP meds in excess consistently for the past 6 weeks or so to feel in control, feel zoned out, and with the tiny hope of dying. Obviously the latter didn't happen.

Do you think if anyone were to find out about this, they would immediately assume it's "attention seeking"/"manipulative"?

I ran out.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

No guarantees how anyone will feel about anything but I don't see why if you are doing it privately and keeping it yourself.

 

[carnivalforone]

youre gonna find it extremely hard to die from bp meds but other than that nobody has any reason to assume it is attention seeking or manipulative unless youre making it known. even if they just for some reason find out they would js see it as meds and youre fine you are not really harming yourself by taking meds.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

youre gonna find it extremely hard to die from bp meds but other than that nobody has any reason to assume it is attention seeking or manipulative unless youre making it known. even if they just for some reason find out they would js see it as meds and youre fine you are not really harming yourself by taking meds.

yeah, I realize that, this wasn't my ultimate plan for suicide but just as self harm/Russian roulette in the meantime.

Thank you, I appreciate your thoughts. I was thinking of talking to my therapist about it since the med is all gone and I can't do it anymore. I just want to feel better tbh bc I don't feel I have much time left.

No guarantees how anyone will feel about anything but I don't see why if you are doing it privately and keeping it yourself.

Thank you.