Story Do you think this is immature?

[jaemus12]

TLDR: Am I immature for wanting to ctb because of my lack of success in society? (By the way, if you like to have 5 minutes of your life wasted, I highly recommend reading the long version :D)

Hi,

Today I want to ask this question because I've been thinking about it a lot. So recently I've been chatting up with some users around here and I found out that many people here wanting to ctb really has it hard. There are physical disabilities, mental disabilities, lost family members and loved ones, and some had traumatic pasts that I really sympathize in the reason they want to ctb. After seeing this, I started thinking about myself and realize that none of these things happened to me. Yet I feel like I'm trying to make a big deal out of my seemingly terrible misery that I'm apparently going through. So why do I want to ctb? Well...

To be honest, my life actually isn't half bad. I have a loving family that's supportive and I grew up in a pretty good environment. But truthfully, I just never really connected with anything. I genuinely just don't like how life is. I don't like the fact that I am judged by others every single day. In school you're judged by how well you can do multiple choice exams, at work you're judged by how well you can be fake as fuck during the interview and how well you can kiss ass to a superior. I just find it so stupid. I am not smart but I was willing to learn and try my best. I am willing to give 110% on everything I do and I work my hardest on everything. At the end of the day I am still not appreciated. I just wish that one day I can be accepted as someone and be appreciated as a person. But no. All my life I've been judged and I've always been at the bottom of the pit because I am quiet, I don't like small talk, have different thoughts and I am not the same as everyone else who is seemingly a star to society working to build a better community. But has anyone ever given me a chance? I've come to realize that I cannot be burden to my family because I can't succeed and have no passion in life. My confidence is at an all time low.

This is the reason why I want to CTB.

So I want to ask you, do you think I'm immature to think this way and want to CTB because of this while many other members around here have more serious problems and better reasons to ctb?

My rant is over. Sorry I wasted your time but thank you for reading. I appreciate any opinion should you decide to answer. Also I apologize if the post is all over the place, I am everywhere right now.

P.S if anything please be respectful to all responses (if any) because I am a tattletail and I will tell on you for being mean.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Everything in this world is subjective, so we can't compare ourselves to others.

I'm sort of similar though in that I have no immediate major trauma that's making me want to CTB. I just do. Noone can invalidate how we feel.

I don't think you're immature at all, you're frustrated with life and so am I

 

[jaemus12]

Everything in this world is subjective, so we can't compare ourselves to others.

I'm sort of similar though in that I have no immediate major trauma that's making me want to CTB. I just do. Noone can invalidate how we feel.

I don't think you're immature at all, you're frustrated with life and so am I

Thanks. I don't know. I've just been so frustrated and emotionally down. I really hate myself. I just feel like I'm super dramatic about some small things lately...I don't even know anymore. Fuck :(

 

[AveryConure]

No, I'm kind of feeling the same way cause I'm almost 30, had to quit an abusive job full of incompetent managers after a mental breakdown and just kind of realized after I was told to "get lost" after I was calling a place I applied at just for another menial cleaning job that this shit just wasn't worth it anymore.

 

[jaemus12]

No, I'm kind of feeling the same way cause I'm almost 30, had to quit an abusive job full of incompetent managers after a mental breakdown and just kind of realized after I was told to "get lost" after I was calling a place I applied at just for another menial cleaning job that this shit just wasn't worth it anymore.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Toxic workplaces are the worst.

 

[AveryConure]

Thanks, and one of the reasons I even try to work in the first place and not get disability is cause it actually keeps my mind off my mental bullshit for a while. But when you literally have a job where they mess with your paychecks, never tell you in advance of when they want you to come in, and you feel like killing yourself every single time you walked in it was about tine I abandoned ship.

 

[CentreMid]

There is no "right" or "wrong" reason to ctb. We're all going for the same thing

 

[jaemus12]

There is no "right" or "wrong" reason to ctb. We're all going for the same thing

It's a fair point I guess.

 

[LifeSick]

TLDR: Am I immature for wanting to ctb because of my lack of success in society? (By the way, if you like to have 5 minutes of your life wasted, I highly recommend reading the long version :D)

Hi,

Today I want to ask this question because I've been thinking about it a lot. So recently I've been chatting up with some users around here and I found out that many people here wanting to ctb really has it hard. There are physical disabilities, mental disabilities, lost family members and loved ones, and some had traumatic pasts that I really sympathize in the reason they want to ctb. After seeing this, I started thinking about myself and realize that none of these things happened to me. Yet I feel like I'm trying to make a big deal out of my seemingly terrible misery that I'm apparently going through. So why do I want to ctb? Well...

To be honest, my life actually isn't half bad. I have a loving family that's supportive and I grew up in a pretty good environment. But truthfully, I just never really connected with anything. I genuinely just don't like how life is. I don't like the fact that I am judged by others every single day. In school you're judged by how well you can do multiple choice exams, at work you're judged by how well you can be fake as fuck during the interview and how well you can kiss ass to a superior. I just find it so stupid. I am not smart but I was willing to learn and try my best. I am willing to give 110% on everything I do and I work my hardest on everything. At the end of the day I am still not appreciated. I just wish that one day I can be accepted as someone and be appreciated as a person. But no. All my life I've been judged and I've always been at the bottom of the pit because I am quiet, I don't like small talk, have different thoughts and I am not the same as everyone else who is seemingly a star to society working to build a better community. But has anyone ever given me a chance? I've come to realize that I cannot be burden to my family because I can't succeed and have no passion in life. My confidence is at an all time low.

This is the reason why I want to CTB.

So I want to ask you, do you think I'm immature to think this way and want to CTB because of this while many other members around here have more serious problems and better reasons to ctb?

My rant is over. Sorry I wasted your time but thank you for reading. I appreciate any opinion should you decide to answer. Also I apologize if the post is all over the place, I am everywhere right now.

P.S if anything please be respectful to all responses (if any) because I am a tattletail and I will tell on you for being mean.

I feel the same way. I also have a pretty supportive family, no past trauma in my life , no disabilities (or does anxiety and depression count?) but also no passions to speak of. After reading a few posts here I started to wonder if I should be considering CTB, even though I always held the opinion that suffering is completely subjective and can't really be measured.
So I don't think you're immature but it's not bad to question your reasons for wanting to CTB, you might learn something doing so, who knows?

 

[jaemus12]

I feel the same way. I also have a pretty supportive family, no past trauma in my life , no disabilities (or does anxiety and depression count?) but also no passions to speak of. After reading a few posts here I started to wonder if I should be considering CTB, even though I always held the opinion that suffering is completely subjective and can't really be measured.
So I don't think you're immature but it's not bad to question your reasons for wanting to CTB, you might learn something doing so, who knows?

Thanks for your input. Your situation sounds quite similar to me.

I don't know anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just a mess right now. I want to cry but can't. I just...I don't even know how to explain. Please kill me :/

 

[LifeSick]

Thanks. I don't know. I've just been so frustrated and emotionally down. I really hate myself. I just feel like I'm super dramatic about some small things lately...I don't even know anymore. Fuck :(

I also hate myself pretty often, and although I still do, there's something that makes me feel a little better: you can't control how you feel. If you're dramatic about some things, it's because they really are bothering you. I feel really frustrated sometimes bucause of so much regret of doing nothing with my life when I had a much better chance of improving it. But I try to remind myself that it wasn't me who choose to be depressed, it was just bad luck and I dealt with it the best I could at the time. I still hate myself, but i guess it's really hard to stop hating yourself.

 

[bigj75]

As others have said, suffering is subjective. Plenty of people ctb due to financial and successful reasons.

 

[hunter_lewis]

TLDR: Am I immature for wanting to ctb because of my lack of success in society? (By the way, if you like to have 5 minutes of your life wasted, I highly recommend reading the long version :D)

Hi,

Today I want to ask this question because I've been thinking about it a lot. So recently I've been chatting up with some users around here and I found out that many people here wanting to ctb really has it hard. There are physical disabilities, mental disabilities, lost family members and loved ones, and some had traumatic pasts that I really sympathize in the reason they want to ctb. After seeing this, I started thinking about myself and realize that none of these things happened to me. Yet I feel like I'm trying to make a big deal out of my seemingly terrible misery that I'm apparently going through. So why do I want to ctb? Well...

To be honest, my life actually isn't half bad. I have a loving family that's supportive and I grew up in a pretty good environment. But truthfully, I just never really connected with anything. I genuinely just don't like how life is. I don't like the fact that I am judged by others every single day. In school you're judged by how well you can do multiple choice exams, at work you're judged by how well you can be fake as fuck during the interview and how well you can kiss ass to a superior. I just find it so stupid. I am not smart but I was willing to learn and try my best. I am willing to give 110% on everything I do and I work my hardest on everything. At the end of the day I am still not appreciated. I just wish that one day I can be accepted as someone and be appreciated as a person. But no. All my life I've been judged and I've always been at the bottom of the pit because I am quiet, I don't like small talk, have different thoughts and I am not the same as everyone else who is seemingly a star to society working to build a better community. But has anyone ever given me a chance? I've come to realize that I cannot be burden to my family because I can't succeed and have no passion in life. My confidence is at an all time low.

This is the reason why I want to CTB.

So I want to ask you, do you think I'm immature to think this way and want to CTB because of this while many other members around here have more serious problems and better reasons to ctb?

My rant is over. Sorry I wasted your time but thank you for reading. I appreciate any opinion should you decide to answer. Also I apologize if the post is all over the place, I am everywhere right now.

P.S if anything please be respectful to all responses (if any) because I am a tattletail and I will tell on you for being mean.

you can always die later on if you want.
I wouldn't ctb if I were you.
It has nothing to do with being mature or immature

 

[jaemus12]

you can always die later on if you want.
I wouldn't ctb if I were you.
It has nothing to do with being mature or immature

Thanks for your answer. A good answer, but I don't think I'll put if off for too long even if I do. I'm going to see if I can do it before 2019 or at least before mid 2019 the very, very latest.

 

[Ben]

Either we are all immature here, or none of us are.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Thanks for your answer. A good answer, but I don't think I'll put if off for too long even if I do. I'm going to see if I can do it before 2019 or at least before mid 2019 the very, very latest.

do whatever you want-just think it through. It's your life.
Seems you are wasting a lot of talent and insight by ctb to me...maybe you can overcome it.

 

[jaemus12]

Either we are all immature here, or none of us are.

I guess I'll take option B for Ben then. :)

I still hate myself and my emotions though.

 

[jaemus12]

do whatever you want-just think it through. It's your life.
Seems you are wasting a lot of talent and insight by ctb to me...maybe you can overcome it.

I think all of us here are very insightful and talented. I can say that I've met a lot of people here tha share similar thoughts with me about life (not the fact that we all want to ctb, but about life in general and our world in general).

Not to be cocky though I believe I am quite talented too. My reputable skills are emotional breakdowns, anxiety attacks and cheesy dumb jokes. :D

 

[Desperate_Soul]

 

[jaemus12]

Aww this makes me smile. Thank you Desperate_Soul

 

[zadig777]

im stunned that the vast majority think ur mature thinking about tcb but i respect all opinions so heres mine
i think u are immature,but not that much immature,but have a bad philosophy and point of view to life
i would recommend u watch some motivationional videos(i can even suggest some),join a gym,read classical phoilsophy,visit psychologist not psychiatrist,enjoy masturbation,alcohol,some drugs,sleep etc..
thats my thought and im willing to chat
the thoughts are the same with all of us yes,but the objectivity is also to be considered by my thought
regards

 

[LifeSick]

enjoy masturbation,alcohol,some drugs

WTF? Was not expecting that. you're trolling, right?

 

[LifeSick]

WTF? Was not expecting that. you're trolling, right?

I see my innocence. Can't delete posts on this forum I see.

 

[jaemus12]

im stunned that the vast majority think ur mature thinking about tcb but i respect all opinions so heres mine
i think u are immature,but not that much immature,but have a bad philosophy and point of view to life
i would recommend u watch some motivationional videos(i can even suggest some),join a gym,read classical phoilsophy,visit psychologist not psychiatrist,enjoy masturbation,alcohol,some drugs,sleep etc..
thats my thought and im willing to chat
the thoughts are the same with all of us yes,but the objectivity is also to be considered by my thought
regards

Thank you for your answer. Perhaps I do have a bad philosophy and pov of life. Thank you for your suggestions you had me at mastubating. Jokes aside, I have done most with the exception of a few of your suggestions. Never did drugs (only some weed a long time ago), I don't like exercising (it's just a preference. I'd rather draw or color instead), and never seen a psychologist and I don't plan to. Frankly that's just how I feel, I may come off as stubborn but I just don't see the reason to waste their time when I feel like it's going to go nowhere. At the end of the day I am leaning more towards ctb anyways. I respect your thoughts and I truly appreciate your detailed answer. Cheers.

Edit: spelling

 

[Desperate_Soul]

Thank you for your answer. Perhaps I do have a bad philosophy and pov of life. Thank you for your suggestions you had me at mastubating. Jokes aside, I have done most with the exception of a few of your suggestions. Never did drugs (only some weed a long time ago), I don't like exercising (it's just a preference. I'd rather draw or color instead), and never seen a pshycologist and I don't plan to. Frankly that's just how I feel, I may come off as stubborn but I just don't see the reason to waste their time when I feel like it's going to go nowhere. At the end of the day I am leaning more towards ctb anyways. I respect your thoughts and I truly appreciate your detailed answer. Cheers.

It's good to see different views with an open mind and not take any offense right away. I love your reply. :)

 

[Ben]

I guess I'll take option B for Ben then. :)

I still hate myself and my emotions though.

I understand. We are all our own worst enemy when you think about it

 

[zadig777]

WTF? Was not expecting that. you're trolling, right?

why am i trolling?
i can enjoy none of that because my brain is destroyed
most of u got ur sexuality and ways to cope left
just excessively masturbating for pleasure and consuming benzos will do the trick
but ur too stupid even to do that..
im happy when stupid people speak about ctb for retarded reasons and actually do it lol
most of guys here have objective motive,but most also don't
and most won't even try or do ctb ever lol

 

[zadig777]

is this site pro-choice or pro-death even?
i think(although im a new member here) that there should be a dusdiscuss about the motives and validity for ctb,norlt just blindly encouraging ppl to take their lives..
the girl wants to ctb because she lost her hair and u encourage that..
rly?!

my father said that ppl stay for years on forums and give advice for ctb but they never do it..

i like the pain we shr here and info,but dislike the trend of making ctb a heroic act and a simple choice..

 

[jaemus12]

why am i trolling?
i can enjoy none of that because my brain is destroyed
most of u got ur sexuality and ways to cope left
just excessively masturbating for pleasure and consuming benzos will do the trick
but ur too stupid even to do that..
im happy when stupid people speak about ctb for retarded reasons and actually do it lol
most of guys here have objective motive,but most also don't
and most won't even try or do ctb ever lol

Easy there. I understand your frustration with the circumstances you are in but there is no need to make statements about being "happy" when people ctb for ANY reason. You need to understand that sometimes the mind is very powerful either in a positive way (try to survive like it was programed) or in a very negative way (twist an individual's thoughts so much it pushes them the brink and kill themselves on impulse). There is also no need to be so condescending about people doing the deed or not for whatever reason. Suicide is a hard thing to do and a scary thing to do. If you feel that you are not scared, I envy you. But I also understand the struggle of those who are here wanting to do it but can't do it because of survival instincts or scared.

is this site pro-choice or pro-death even?
i think(although im a new member here) that there should be a dusdiscuss about the motives and validity for ctb,norlt just blindly encouraging ppl to take their lives..
the girl wants to ctb because she lost her hair and u encourage that..
rly?!

my father said that ppl stay for years on forums and give advice for ctb but they never do it..

i like the pain we shr here and info,but dislike the trend of making ctb a heroic act and a simple choice..

I strongly believe that we are pro-choice here. We respect all of the opinions and thoughts of everyone. SS like all other sites will have a few bad apples but it does not mean you have to feed them so you can simply ignore troll posts. As for what you said with a encouraging girl wanting to ctb simply because of losing her hair, I am not sure where you saw it but I can assure you I never encouraged anyone to ctb. The only thing I would say is good luck because they have already made the choice. Those struggling on the fence, I would give them my honest opinion but I don't go out and say "yeah kill yourself!" You seem to have a lot of assumptions about how SS is...I don't think I have ever gotten the vibe from anyone here that thinks CTB is "a heroic act and a simple choice" CTB is the hardest thing you can ever do in life in my opinion because it's the last thing you'll do.

If you want to discuss your thoughts, great. You can make a new discussion thread and have more people put in their opinions. Please don't post on this thread if it does not tie into the topic at hand here. I apologize if I sound bossy and condescending. I don't mean it that way.

Cheers.

 

[zadig777]

Easy there. I understand your frustration with the circumstances you are in but there is no need to make statements about being "happy" when people ctb for ANY reason. You need to understand that sometimes the mind is very powerful either in a positive way (try to survive like it was programed) or in a very negative way (twist an individual's thoughts so much it pushes them the brink and kill themselves on impulse). There is also no need to be so condescending about people doing the deed or not for whatever reason. Suicide is a hard thing to do and a scary thing to do. If you feel that you are not scared, I envy you. But I also understand the struggle of those who are here wanting to do it but can't do it because of survival instincts or scared.



I strongly believe that we are pro-choice here. We respect all of the opinions and thoughts of everyone. SS like all other sites will have a few bad apples but it does not mean you have to feed them so you can simply ignore troll posts. As for what you said with a encouraging girl wanting to ctb simply because of losing her hair, I am not sure where you saw it but I can assure you I never encouraged anyone to ctb. The only thing I would say is good luck because they have already made the choice. Those struggling on the fence, I would give them my honest opinion but I don't go out and say "yeah kill yourself!" You seem to have a lot of assumptions about how SS is...I don't think I have ever gotten the vibe from anyone here that thinks CTB is "a heroic act and a simple choice" CTB is the hardest thing you can ever do in life in my opinion because it's the last thing you'll do.

If you want to discuss your thoughts, great. You can make a new discussion thread and have more people put in their opinions. Please don't post on this thread if it does not tie into the topic at hand here. I apologize if I sound bossy and condescending. I don't mean it that way.

Cheers.

ur right for the most part true
but my point was that those with ment/subjective reasons should be encouraged to work on that part
subjectivity plays a big role-yes,but mb if there is no objective reason,these ppl should be advised otherwise
i personally always ask people about their motives and give them my thoughts
im ok with how ss works,but i think that some ppl should be questioned about their presence here just from humanitarian motives,not judgrmental or smh