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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
1,973
Only right before the moment of CTB.

Until that point there will always be hope, regardless of if people chose to call it that or not.

I believe once we are ready, we will know. Then once we know, we will find a way to CTB. That's why its important to be properly informed on decent methods.
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
1,465
I believe some people reach a point where even SI is like background noise rather than some loud opposing force, I've experienced it before. But I don't believe it's common. Very rarely will someone not have even the smallest thing trying to draw them back from the choice they're about to make. Maybe it's the sun rise, a video game, a family member, but I find it hard to believe many people truly don't have a single thing they enjoy even a little bit in life. And when you're ready to leave it all, it's natural to suddenly start to remember those things for a second. Fear of the unknown of death as well as fear of failure are often present which further add to the difficulty. The question ultimately becomes is leaving everything behind to experience something unknown while knowing you may fail worth it?
 
iloveduster

iloveduster

Member
Jan 21, 2024
47
At times, I think that I'm 100% ready for ctb, but then when I'm "starting" it, I also start doubting myself, because I feel weird and confused like "what am I even doing?" Then my mind starts distracting me by playing the horrible things that I went through and just I stand there thinking what do I even do? What if I fail the ctb? What if my SI kicks in?

Of course, that's just my experience and maybe some people are stronger than me, but in my personal experience I think complete readiness is impossible or at least very rare.
 
4am

4am

there’s nothing for you (it/its)
Dec 14, 2023
1,380
obviously everyone's mind works differently. i think there are people who are fully ready to commit, but are still alive only because they don't have a method, who would ctb as soon as they got one, and si for them is just a distraction rather than an obstacle
 
D

dark_side_idea

Member
Mar 29, 2024
5
In my experience, the moment you decide it's the end, you feel it. If feels like you gave your body permission to let go e somone else guide you through the very last second. No More pain, anxiety nor fear. I care to specify because for me If u still feel fear than it's not the right time, don't chose anything that's permanent if you are not 100% secure. It could be still hope in you and a chance to actually get better
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,189
I at least know in my case if I had access to a peaceful, guaranteed way to die I'd have no fears. What terrifies me is trying to die potentially going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, being able to just die in peace with no risks would solve everything for me.
 
Apathy79

Apathy79

Arcanist
Oct 13, 2019
423
It's an interesting question for sure. I think it's unusual. But it probably exists. I doubt the people who jumped from the trade centre had any doubts for example. It might seem like an irrelevant comparison but I suppose it's similar themes. Live a bit longer in extreme agony, then die, or die now? Their hope was 100% extinguished and time was of the essence before things got much worse - that's probably the combo that gets you there.
 
4everDone

4everDone

death is freedom
Feb 2, 2024
124
Yes, but it's only temporary. For me it's like a state I need gradually to get to. It's where I am capable to almost fully disattach from this world and enter what feels like a nirvana while thinking of death it's crazy. Too bad it lasts only a short time. Hopefully I will be able to tap into that state once I attempt
 
Shar

Shar

Experienced
Nov 23, 2023
269
I saw a video where several suicide bombers competed to see who would detonate. The enthusiasm was such as if the winner was going to get rich. The winner left with a wide smile on his face, it's hard to imagine that he wasn't 100% decided.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
2,438
I believe that being 100% ready in anything in life is impossible which of course applies to suicide as well. I think that there will always be some sort of uncertainty in any decision that somebody makes. After all, what would it even look like to not be uncertain at all?
 
Niyxx

Niyxx

Member
Apr 1, 2024
16
Personally, I believe that it doesn't exist, no one can be fully ready (100%) for CTB.
There will always be hesitation, fear, anxiety, and regret, but its intensity varies according to the nature of the person.
I believe it's unrealistic, I think you would have to be impossibly terminal and I just don't think most people will ever reach that. Even if you have nothing to live for, even the pain of dying means you arent fully prepared for it. Interesting thought though.
 
H

hopeless08

Arcanist
Dec 8, 2023
453
Personally, I believe that it doesn't exist, no one can be fully ready (100%) for CTB.
There will always be hesitation, fear, anxiety, and regret, but its intensity varies according to the nature of the person.
I agree between so many different emotions that go on before wanting to ctb and survival instinct, I don't think you can be 100% ready
 
Chronicoverwhelm

Chronicoverwhelm

Student
Aug 13, 2022
129
I was 100% ready when I attempted as a teenager in 1995 (failed due to lack of knowledge on method, limited resources). But I absolutely cannot get myself back into that same headspace now, no matter what I do. I'll be catching the bus full of guilt, terror, sadness.... but I don't have a choice. It's over.
 
W

wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
232
No, there was that study (can't find it now) that analysed the brains of people who died by suicide, and they were all filled with stress before dying.
 
A

Aprilfarewell4

Experienced
Apr 9, 2024
254
Yes because some people, many people kill themselves. They must have been ready. I am. I hate it but it's the truth. It's my time.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,653
No, there was that study (can't find it now) that analysed the brains of people who died by suicide, and they were all filled with stress before dying.
This?


But I think this refers to stress even long before the actual attempt. Permanent stress has negative influence on our general health in many different ways.
 
W

wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
232
Yes

But I think this refers to stress even long before the actual attempt. Permanent stress has negative influence on our general health in many different ways.
Ah sorry, I misremembered that important detail distinguishing between long term and short term stress and got it all wrong. Makes more sense now.
 
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rotciv

rotciv

Something In The Way
Mar 25, 2023
349
No, there was that study (can't find it now) that analysed the brains of people who died by suicide, and they were all filled with stress before dying.

Most people have to be in a very high state of stress to overcome our greatest natural instinct
 
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LOVELYDARKDEEP

LOVELYDARKDEEP

will you gnaw off your own leg to escape the trap?
Mar 20, 2024
58
I think even the bravest of us will retain a kernel of that fear, even if it only shows itself in those final moments. Death is a great transition, a step into the great unknowable. You realize that your convictions about what happens after seem relatively insubstantial, based more on personal preference and affected by bias. Your paradigms, convictions, and beliefs will be challenged in ways some may not have been braced to face, and so they pull their punch, or back out before it is too late.
And there is nothing wrong with that. It is far better to go when you are ready. There is a lot of material out there with excellent advice on how to process your eventual death, on how to release the attachments that may be binding you, should you wish to release them, and on how to process that fear and stress and indecision in a healthy way instead of just trying to brute force your way through it.

It can be a bit bracing, confronting our own mortality. Like the initial bracing shock of leaping into a pool of cold water. But if you keep moving through it, and with it, you'll warm up a bit and get more comfortable with the concept. Don't be afraid to give yourself the time and space you need to work through those uncomfortable feelings. Don't suppress them as soon as they crop up - try to sit with them and let them say their piece, show those parts of you love and acceptance. Acknowledge your fears and remind them that everything will be alright, in the end.

Meditation and Buddhist philosophy has really helped me with the process, personally. There are many historical monks that have committed to the long and painful process of self mummification, or immolation, in a state of zen and peace. Perhaps it may be possible to get so close to 100%, the remainder doesn't matter.
 
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