This is going to be a long and rambling post. Thanks for reading if you have the time...
I don't know whether it's a generation thing, an individual thing- or, I'm just lazy maybe! I notice it between my Dad and me though. It's not just an obligation to keep living- which I do actually feel for now- for his sake. It's about ALL elements in life. He'll often use the phrases 'I'm doing this or that because it has to be done' or 'I've got no choice.' Usually it's things he doesn't want to do- his work life was intense and stressful. He's always working (and complaining) about working on the house or the garden. There IS always a choice though. I just think some people feel more obligated to do things than others.
He had/has a very strong work ethic. So do I- or, I did anyhow. My line of work is so precarious though- freelance creative and I know I don't quite have the energy now, the talent, the willingness to travel, or the confidence to pull it off successfully. I know I'm going to need to find some other shitty job soon. All I get though is: 'Well- I hated my job and I did it for years.' Like- that's what you just accept and do. I know I'm going to have to as well- because I don't want to financially leach off of him. It's not that he wouldn't support me but I'd feel guilty and truthfully- he'd make me feel guilty!
I suppose it's fair enough. I'm an adult- 43. I'm able to work. I've actually been fortunate in some ways with inheritance that went on education. I know what I SHOULD be doing. I suppose I'm just feeling less and less obligation though.
When you're sure you want to kill yourself- it takes a lot of pressure off! I don't need to worry about saving up for retirement. I don't even need to succeed in life now- I just need to tread water as best I can till I can go.
Anyhow- like I was saying- there IS always a choice. People don't HAVE to work- but they need to feel ok with depending on others or benefits. (I realise of course that some people simply can't work.) People don't HAVE to continuously clean their houses and maintain their gardens but they care about what other people think. Plus- they have likely been raised with the idea of self respect- that you look after yourself and your dwelling.
I guess we are all raised differently. Both my Dad and myself had a similar upbringing by my Grandma. (My Mum died.) Don't get me wrong- I loved her to bits and she made an enormous sacrifice to raise me. Still- our upbringings were strict and full of obligations. 'What will the neighbours think? What will the family think?' (If you don't behave in a certain way.) It just seems strange that my Dad has encompassed all that into his own thinking whereas I have largely rebelled against it! Lol.
I think this feeling of obligation does apply to CTB also- when it comes to people who either want to do it but feel they can't or others- who won't even let themselves consider it. I think people feel obligated to the people around them, some have this mystic sense of missed potential in themselves or intrinsic worth they'll waste if they quit early, some feel obligated to God, some to society, some to the mere wishes and teachings of others- 'I've been taught suicide is wrong and it's not what other people want for me- so- I'll 'honour' that.' I don't know- it just all smacks to me of doing what you're told without question. I suppose it's selfish to say- 'Yeah but none of that is what I want' but I suppose that's what it comes down to.
I guess- ironically, the things we OUGHT to feel obligated to likely DO help us to live 'better' lives. Looking after yourself and cleaning your environment makes it nicer to live. Being successful in work means you'll have the money to spend on leisure. I think pro-lifers tend to think that- even if we don't want to do these chores- we'll start to 'feel better' when we do. We might to some degree but I doubt it fixes everything. MOST ESPECIALLY if after a time- we are STILL feeling we are only doing these things out of obligation to others.
I wonder whether this obligation thing is a generation thing. Whether it is just passed down but I wonder if it is indeed starting to falter now and I wonder- If so, why? I wonder if it's got something to do with individuality. I guess my Dad belongs to the generation in which the teenager status was starting to emerge- music, rock and roll and all that. Youngsters in particular were being taught it was relevent how they felt and looked and what they wanted to do. As generations have gone on- individual preference has become paramount. We're constantly encouraged to rate things. To like or dislike videos/media. OUR voice and opinions are supposedly important. Do you suppose that may be a reason why so many youngsters aren't afraid of voicing their opinion/opposition now ie. I hate my life! I hate capitalism! I hate what's expected of me! Maybe we simply don't feel obliged to just fit in with society and accept things... including life itself!
Like I said- a long and meandering thread. What do you think? Am I entirely off? What are your experiences? Do your parents have more or less of a sense of obligation to societies norms? Has that affected you do you think?
I don't know whether it's a generation thing, an individual thing- or, I'm just lazy maybe! I notice it between my Dad and me though. It's not just an obligation to keep living- which I do actually feel for now- for his sake. It's about ALL elements in life. He'll often use the phrases 'I'm doing this or that because it has to be done' or 'I've got no choice.' Usually it's things he doesn't want to do- his work life was intense and stressful. He's always working (and complaining) about working on the house or the garden. There IS always a choice though. I just think some people feel more obligated to do things than others.
He had/has a very strong work ethic. So do I- or, I did anyhow. My line of work is so precarious though- freelance creative and I know I don't quite have the energy now, the talent, the willingness to travel, or the confidence to pull it off successfully. I know I'm going to need to find some other shitty job soon. All I get though is: 'Well- I hated my job and I did it for years.' Like- that's what you just accept and do. I know I'm going to have to as well- because I don't want to financially leach off of him. It's not that he wouldn't support me but I'd feel guilty and truthfully- he'd make me feel guilty!
I suppose it's fair enough. I'm an adult- 43. I'm able to work. I've actually been fortunate in some ways with inheritance that went on education. I know what I SHOULD be doing. I suppose I'm just feeling less and less obligation though.
When you're sure you want to kill yourself- it takes a lot of pressure off! I don't need to worry about saving up for retirement. I don't even need to succeed in life now- I just need to tread water as best I can till I can go.
Anyhow- like I was saying- there IS always a choice. People don't HAVE to work- but they need to feel ok with depending on others or benefits. (I realise of course that some people simply can't work.) People don't HAVE to continuously clean their houses and maintain their gardens but they care about what other people think. Plus- they have likely been raised with the idea of self respect- that you look after yourself and your dwelling.
I guess we are all raised differently. Both my Dad and myself had a similar upbringing by my Grandma. (My Mum died.) Don't get me wrong- I loved her to bits and she made an enormous sacrifice to raise me. Still- our upbringings were strict and full of obligations. 'What will the neighbours think? What will the family think?' (If you don't behave in a certain way.) It just seems strange that my Dad has encompassed all that into his own thinking whereas I have largely rebelled against it! Lol.
I think this feeling of obligation does apply to CTB also- when it comes to people who either want to do it but feel they can't or others- who won't even let themselves consider it. I think people feel obligated to the people around them, some have this mystic sense of missed potential in themselves or intrinsic worth they'll waste if they quit early, some feel obligated to God, some to society, some to the mere wishes and teachings of others- 'I've been taught suicide is wrong and it's not what other people want for me- so- I'll 'honour' that.' I don't know- it just all smacks to me of doing what you're told without question. I suppose it's selfish to say- 'Yeah but none of that is what I want' but I suppose that's what it comes down to.
I guess- ironically, the things we OUGHT to feel obligated to likely DO help us to live 'better' lives. Looking after yourself and cleaning your environment makes it nicer to live. Being successful in work means you'll have the money to spend on leisure. I think pro-lifers tend to think that- even if we don't want to do these chores- we'll start to 'feel better' when we do. We might to some degree but I doubt it fixes everything. MOST ESPECIALLY if after a time- we are STILL feeling we are only doing these things out of obligation to others.
I wonder whether this obligation thing is a generation thing. Whether it is just passed down but I wonder if it is indeed starting to falter now and I wonder- If so, why? I wonder if it's got something to do with individuality. I guess my Dad belongs to the generation in which the teenager status was starting to emerge- music, rock and roll and all that. Youngsters in particular were being taught it was relevent how they felt and looked and what they wanted to do. As generations have gone on- individual preference has become paramount. We're constantly encouraged to rate things. To like or dislike videos/media. OUR voice and opinions are supposedly important. Do you suppose that may be a reason why so many youngsters aren't afraid of voicing their opinion/opposition now ie. I hate my life! I hate capitalism! I hate what's expected of me! Maybe we simply don't feel obliged to just fit in with society and accept things... including life itself!
Like I said- a long and meandering thread. What do you think? Am I entirely off? What are your experiences? Do your parents have more or less of a sense of obligation to societies norms? Has that affected you do you think?
