For me it's freedom from suffering. Autism and ADHD and CPTSD are making my life unliveable. There's no cure for any of those. I am worried about economic insecurity and climate change, but there are ways to work with others on those. Autism in particular doesn't change and it is making my life hell and removing my brain with a bullet would certainly end that pain. You will have regrets but also the hum in my head and the pain of so many hurtful encounters and feeling like an alien trapped on the wrong planet - that feeling ending? It's everything giving me hope.
I know exactly the experience of feeling like an alien trapped on the wrong planet. It is horrible and it makes life very difficult.
Sometimes, there is a lot of truth behind the feeling. It seems we all literally come from different systems and planets before we incarnate, although this is likely from a long time and many lifetimes ago, so we still may have been incarnating on earth for some time. And we all come from "soul" families who we resonate with and are similar to us. So, if and when we are born into a society or family or whatever which is very different to who we are at the soul (or we simply currently live in a place very opposite to who we are; I experience all of the above!), then not only do we feel alien, to some degree we literally are alien to it.
Things I think feel even worse now for those of us who are very connected to our "alien" self because not only are we going through a process where we are re-awakening or connecting to our true self/soul better, we are realizing how many people/much of society still is very cut off from who they are. And with those differences being amplified, it is making it harder, maybe now more than ever to live amongst such disparate people.
But I do see that us very different people came here for a reason. To show these differences as much as possible, so that differences begin to get integrated in our collective more now. We are the brave ones, I have to say. We are the strongest, even though we are portrayed as the weakest.
We choose before we incarnated to carry this task, and this duty, maybe not knowing how hard it would be. Probably not really knowing how hard.
When we are in spirit, because of how different experience is from the physical, I think it is very hard to know how difficult these experiences will be.
This is exactly what I am going thru myself. I've done my best with my task while I've been here for as long as I could, but physically now I am progressively weakening very fast and am more frail each day (and yes adding on the traumas and stresses that one goes thru feeling "alien") that physically my body is shutting down. Unlike our soul, unfortunately, physically our body only lasts so long. So for me now, it's about no longer being able to physically continue on. If I had the physical ability, I would, as I know I'm here for a reason.
But if you've still got health, keep trying to do your part as best you can by just being you, you don't need to do anything else or prove anything to anyone. You are making a difference by just being here. You are here for that reason I said before, you have immense value, spirit knows your value.