Do you still have hope you can turn your life around?

[All Things Must Pass]

No.

 

[yive]

no absolutely, let me die please

 

[Eire1992]

No. I'm done. I've said it a few times now that I've come to understand that the problem isn't a matter of circumstances, the problem is who I am. I'm done with it all, enough is enough.

 

[Ame]

Absolutely...



...not. We only have one shot at life and for all of my "intelligence", privilege and "potential" I completely botched it. Even if my illnesses were to magically be cured tomorrow, the absolute disaster that they left in their wake--and I do not for second deny that I am complicit in contributing to this mess by being so woefully unfit for life--is simply too much to repair. I don't want anything else.

 

[littleloup]

Sometimes I have this hope that maybe I could but that quickly vanishes when I realize that we only have one life, and I've wasted my time being mentally ill. Nothing can fix my regrets unless it's a time machine and I can return to a time I was a child.

 

[Zzzzz]

Very little hope for a good life for me

 

[motel rooms]

I stay away from hope. I may be mentally ill, but I'm not crazy

 

[Bigpink]

No way, it's over

 

[Bullit]

No.

Ditto.
I have no illusions of fixing my life,etc. I know all too well where I stand. But actually ending it,that's very tough.

 

[BlankUser]

I had it, when I was younger. I used to think "Things will get better". But no... Things actually got worse in my life.

 

[Bullit]

My situation sadly can't be turned around. My disabilities and illnesses are incurable and permanent.

The best I can hope for is quality treatment. I have applied for specialist treatment but the decision is in the hands of the NHS. It will not be feasible privately. If my application is approved, I may be able to manage for a few more years if symptoms are significantly reduced. If it is rejected, I suspect I'll be dead within a couple of months or so.

My hope is that I can acquire treatment that adequately addresses both my physical and psychological suffering, to a degree where I can function better on a day-to-day basis. I am mostly bedbound at the moment, so just the ability to get around more would make a difference.

It will not save me or stop my suicide, but it will improve the longevity and quality of my life enough for me to have some good memories before I go. It will also buy me extra time to get my affairs in order in the way I want to, and to purchase Nembutal.

Without that, I will be fighting against a clock I cannot see. I know my time is limited, I know my health will continue to deteriorate, but I cannot accurately estimate how gradually or quickly this may happen or at what rate. It means that I feel tremendous pressure to take my life sooner rather than later, lest I lose the capacity to do so in future.

Several people on here have complained about your NHS. I guess it can be a big problem! They should have a SNHS!

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

No, any kind of false hope is the worst.

 

[xx1982]

absolutely not.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I keep hoping so but the hope is fleeting