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Brown-Jacket Revy

Brown-Jacket Revy

Waste
Jul 10, 2023
175
I abandoned this illusory identity a long time ago, there's no one to be loved or hated, the self is just a bunch of flesh, bones and subjective definitions/concepts.
I'm trying to get to this level, for real.
 
  • Like
Reactions: cscott and thebookofdisquiet.
bubblingwaterz

bubblingwaterz

Someone looking for something
Sep 12, 2023
9
This is funny because I do love me!
I've always been called "too full of myself" or "egocentric" because of this.
Still!! I always thought I am an amazing person. I have an average life, I do great at my job, I get along with everyone because I am quite a people-pleaser but not enough to be a pushover, y'know?

I did well in school, I do great in college, I only have one year and half to go and I will graduate… But I still want to CTB.

I love being me, I love my parents, they did a great job raising me… they weren't perfect, they made mistakes (as we all do) but they did the best they could with what they had.

Even with all that, I still want to CTB. I just don't find life enjoyable, there's nothing to look forward to. I get these thoughts in my head all the time and they just won't stop… I've had them for 7 years now, tried everything I could think of, took lots of meds. I feel like the only thing I truly look forward to is CTB. It seems shallow writing this now but I feel a bit insecure sharing more about myself than this
 
SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,524
Shit no … I'm really not that loveable !
 
dysthym1a

dysthym1a

i just keep letting me down
Sep 9, 2023
10
God I hate myself so much. I'm a no life, a leech to everyone around me, I have no notable achievements to my name. It's better if I just disappear.
 
Ashe

Ashe

Born to suffer for others
Sep 20, 2023
112
Short answer, No I don't and probably never will.

Long answer, I could never love myself because to love something is to accept it in it's entirety which I am physically incappable of doing. I could never love myself because I hold such an utter disdain and disgust for the body I inhabit and was born into that no amount of time passing has ever shifted me from this view. I love others and things that I like doing because I've always been someone to wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to my emotions.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: telw84
FrostedHoax

FrostedHoax

Student
Dec 1, 2022
110
I absolutely loathe myself for the dumb mistakes and rash decisions I've made over the course of my life and i'm constantly belittling myself for every little mess-up and perceived flaw. Despite all this though, I don't think I'd ever want to change who I am at my very core.
 
  • Like
Reactions: telw84
T

telw84

Member
Sep 21, 2023
35
No I rly dont and havent for some time, I guess I am predisposed to dislike myself, but then most of us have self doubts, just some are better at hiding it than others I think
 
Talles

Talles

Member
Mar 3, 2023
26
I do. I like even the parts of myself which I know infuriate other people.
I have been othered for such a long time that it became easier to turn the rage and the disdain outside.
 
L

legend

Member
Sep 19, 2023
11
I love myself I'm just too good and nice for this world.
 

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