Do you love yourself?

[Retroguy]

Yes I do.
As pathetic of a failure (according to society) that I am, I still love myself.


I love my uniquness and my unique way of thinking and looking at the world.
And I love my good heart and strong moral sense that I have.
I even love all my insecurities and fears.

I wouldn't want to be anyone else in this world.

I want to ctb not because I hate myself but because I hate this cruel, harsh, unpleasant world.

In this world I feel like a rabbit thrown into a forest of wolves.
And this world is a cruel world of wolves unfortunately.

In a kinder, more pleasant world I might have enjoyed life.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I hate myself with every subatomic particle in my body.

 

[Retroguy]

I hate myself with every subatomic particle in my body.

Why?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm just indifferent honestly towards myself, I'm just a conscious being enduring a insignifcant and meaningless existence that I was unfortunate enough to be burdened with where I'm only destined to decay, die and be forgotten about. What I despise is existence and all the harm it's caused, I despise having the ability to exist, existence is repulsive and evil.

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

No.

 

[Kompass]

Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont.
I think it depends on the situation im in, when I do something stupid I hate myself for a few hours and then it slowly fades away I guess.

 

[not_telling]

I'm sorry for the world of wolves OP. No world should ever make someone, who feels good about themselves, hate most of their surrounding to the point of finding no better reason to live rather than to die. In my experience, I've come to hate the world too, but I'm not really any better. I don't like myself because I'm wasting potential that I know is bottled up inside me somewhere, at least I feel like it is. I'm good at learning new things, making my friends feel a little better when they're feeling crappy, I have good parents who love me and a life that can be very good, but despite all this I just can't find the will to be better, to be happy. I have all these things that many people don't, but can't make anything out of it, that's what I hate the most about myself, and it is what I hate the most about the world of wolves. So many possibilities for a world of empathic, conscious beings, with the resources so that everyone can at least have the bare minimum, but it just isn't like that. If you choose to go, I hope you find a better place, one that you can love, like you do to yourself. May you find some peace, you deserve it OP.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Why?

Nothing special about me. No skills, talent, likelable personality traits, OCD, ADHD, depression, social anixiety...I could go on and on.

 

[Retroguy]

No.

Like I asked MatrixPrisoner Why you don't love yourself?

 

[doomedtoroam]

Everyday, I absolutely hate myself. I wake up and see my horrible face in the mirror and start tp cry, I groan about everything, I blame everything on myself, find myself annoying and a horrible person and wish I didn't exist.

But also, why would I spend more and more money buying myself stuff I like? Why do I feel so wronged by so much things, and so much people... why did i turn myself in right before an attempt... why do i sometimes look at older pictures of myself and think, "i miss my old self. I wish i loved myself back then"... and why do i even register on this website to begin with.

In a way, I don't think i 100% hate myself. I wish i was a lot of things i am not though. ^^

 

[UsagiDrop]

I hate myself. I understand objectively that people do not feel the same way about me but I dislike myself a lot. I feel like I am shackled to my past and I hate the decisions I've made, the situations that I ended up in that were out of my control, and the person that I have turned into as a result.

I hate that I'm always at war with myself, I hate that I am a prisoner in my own mind and body. I hate that I am so weak and so small, that I can't function like normal humans can; I hate that I feel anything at all. From my own assessment, there is nothing redeemable about me other than the fact that I make money in order for someone else to live. Other than that, I am doing nothing with this life and I feel powerless to even do anything more in the first place. In all my years of living, all I have accomplished is making it to the next day, the next month, the next year. I really hate myself.

There are a few things about myself that I like but they don't really make up for everything else.

In this world I feel like a rabbit thrown into a forest of wolves.
And this world is a cruel world of wolves unfortunately.

In a kinder, more pleasant world I might have enjoyed life.

I feel exactly like this too. I really wish that the world was kinder to us.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

One of my biggest issues is there is no one else on this earth who could likely hate me more than myself.
I have a few people who love me. I have no family, really. They all live very far and were very abusive, but I still stay in contact with them because I'm pathetic and care so much about how they are and would be devastated if something were to happen to either of my parents, despite all the unimaginable trauma I have faced by their choices. They're old, now... they're sorry, now... I will carry on this hurt when they are gone.
I don't mind the person that I am. My thoughts, my morals, my actions... I love others so much and want the best for them, but I hate how cruelty festers like a virus in this world at the same time, and it feels like it's only getting worse and worse.

It's just everyone and everything in life has been very unkind and very hurtful, and pain is mostly all I have ever known. Every hope, dream, desire... it was all a waste.
I am nothing. I've done nothing. I will forever be nothing.
I had potential, too, at one point... All down the drain. I feel empty and now most days my distractions that kept me going have not been doing much. It feels like I'm slipping away, and no one around me understands how tired and hard everything really is.

 

[k1w1]

That is a pleasant thing to read on this site.
Amongst all the whingeing & complaining, your sincerity is brave & says a lot about you..

I agree with you, what we have done to our planet is to humanity's shame.
There has been continuous conflict in the world since my birth. Greed is such a human driver & most of our social, economic & ecological issues can be directly attributed to this aspect of ourselves.

Conversely, I have seen people enjoy better physical health, & the present access to information & knowledge is mind-blowing. This would have been all but inaccessable to most 20 years ago.
Those of my grandparent's generation were a hardy lot but mostly quite ignorant & parochial.

I was lucky to be gifted with two groovy parents who let me develop according to my own interests & set my own measures of success. It was clear from childhood that I had an enquiring & curious nature.
I have lived on three continents & speak a few languages. This also led me down some challenging roads as I'm known for pushing at the boundaries in order to get the maximum excitement.
But .... at this time of my life & finding myself on a site like this with a gas cylinder in the spare room, I am happy that I really lived most of my life. And yup, I've loved myself since the get-go.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

No. I hate myself. I hate the choices I made, I hate the brain i was born with, I hate the abuse I went through and how I became verbally abusive. I hate my face, I hate the fact that I'm a boy. I hate the fact that I like porn. I hate the fact I was yelled at or mocked for drawing it. I hate how I masturbate with myself. I hate that I'm religious and I hate that I believe there is a god and am uncertain about hat happens after death. I hate my mannerisms, the way I speak, act, think, behave. I hate how I don't know right from wrong and have a twisted sense of justice. I hate the fact that even with the choices I've made my family still loves me and yet I can't even die. I hate everything about me.

 

[bpdmf]

Yes I do.
As pathetic of a failure (according to society) that I am, I still love myself.


I love my uniquness and my unique way of thinking and looking at the world.
And I love my good heart and strong moral sense that I have.
I even love all my insecurities and fears.

I wouldn't want to be anyone else in this world.

I want to ctb not because I hate myself but because I hate this cruel, harsh, unpleasant world.

In this world I feel like a rabbit thrown into a forest of wolves.
And this world is a cruel world of wolves unfortunately.

In a kinder, more pleasant world I might have enjoyed life.

maybe deep down. i respect myself for being so strong with all ive had to go through. but overall id say i have a very negative view of myself. the way i look, behave, think etc

 

[Quiet_Observer]

I have no oppinion of myself which is negative or positive. I only recognize that my existence is a burden on others, even if they themselves don't think that. Killing myself would put less weight on peoples shoulders.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

another stupid question. am sorry

 

[BlazingBob]

"You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else." What a load of pop psychology horse shit.

 

[vitbar]

It depends so much. In the depths I can despise myself. During brighter times my opinion of myself is mixed.

 

[snowcloud9]

I love myself, but I hate (almost) everyone else. I internalize my hate into wanting to die to be away from them, instead of wanting to kill others. That's great I guess.

 

[ViniTerrible]

no, I hate everything about myself and I also promised to myself that until the day I die, I will never love myself.

 

[lemonbunny]

i'm loving myself less and less nowadays, and it shows in my lack of self care.
i stopped buying myself things, called off my annual salon visit, quit reaching out to people, often neglect my hygiene for days at a time. i just want out of this.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I abandoned this illusory identity a long time ago, there's no one to be loved or hated, the self is just a bunch of flesh, bones and subjective definitions/concepts.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I fucking hate myself and can't wait till I am finally free of me.

 

[Retroguy]

To all those who replied that they hate themselves in this thread:
Don't be so hard on yourselves.
I am sure there are some positive qualities about you.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

another stupid question. am sorry

It's a valid question. You don't have to reply you know..

 

[DukeDestroyer]

It depends for me. They are things about me that arisen this year that caused me to hate myself a bit more.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I love the world, and I love people. I hate the evil, power hungry people in this world who abuse those weaker than themselves for their own gain and degrade and destroy our planet and treat animals like objects for profit. I hate seeing polluted rivers, wars, slavery, melting caps, hurricanes and fires, homelessness, capitalism, abuse, bigotry, and factory farms. This moral contamination has infested all good and pure in this world.

I am working on valuing myself. Loving myself is the scariest thing in the world for me because I fear becoming a corrupted dictator, murderer, rapist, or abuser. The most arrogant and sociopathic in this world tend to be of this type. Elliot Rodger called himself "the magnificent gentleman." Donald Trump's favorite words are "grand" and "beautiful." If I love myself, will I become haughty and callous and vain and tainted with evil? *shudder*

I'm realizing now I have too much remorse to be an evil human. Shame keeps me sick and prevents self improvement and hurts those I love because it makes me push people away and believe I'm only deserving of punishment rather than enlightenment. I'm trying to forgive myself and know I'm worthy of nice things, but it's a hard and slow process.

It's interesting how people have different rational for ctb. I attempted because I hated myself and felt I deserved a personal death penalty. I do not relate to ops post at all. I'm sure some do. I imagine many don't relate to me.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Naw.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

It's a valid question. You don't have to reply you know..

i agree. i did not have to reply. i said sorry.