Do you like receiving pm’s?

[lili]

I like private messages and getting to know people. I like to try to help in however way I can. It's also nice to see people's full stories which are hard to get a sense of just by looking at the threads. And it's good to see one is not alone.

Although it can be hard at times to respond for me because of my own issues but I try really hard to do it.

Ive shared some really nice PMs with people.

What I don't like is people asking me where I bought my SN or stuff like that. I don't feel comfortable with disclosing that besides there's so much information on the website. And those requests can feel so impersonal too.
For me it was also simple to search online about it once this website gave me the information of the product.

I don't like the chat. I don't understand it still it's too much.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Better question, do you shy from sending a pm because you're worried how it will be received?

Yes. I'm not a great conversationalist so I have difficulty starting a conversation and ending one. I've heard people don't like small talk, so it makes it difficult for me to start one any other way than that.

 

[Kismet]

Yes. I'm not a great conversationalist so I have difficulty starting a conversation and ending one. I've heard people don't like small talk, so it makes it difficult for me to start one any other way than that.

This is what makes the chat so hard to participate in.

I think, I overthink it and once I do set in on a comment, the moment has passed and the conversation has went another direction. Even if I do post a comment, I feel like people don't know how to interpret it.

The small talk thing is definitely difficult for me as well. I'm usually going in 10 different thoughts that I don't even know what is on topic so I say something perceived as strange

I really admire the people that can do it though. I also procrastinate just about everything because I'm waiting for the right time to focus and it ends up being too late is another one of my issues.

I definitely can't small talk in person, I get so nervous and anxious and my words come out all jumbled lol

Do you post much on any of the socials? I don't, can't stand the thought of someone being negative or having a laugh at my expense

 

[ColorlessTrees]

In general, I don't like them. I forgot about my recovery ad and a bunch of people DMed me over time and I came to dread it. I felt bad, but I had to stop responding eventually. I'm a horrible conversationalist, and I'm just not interested in most people. Things easily become stilted and it's an obligation to scrounge up an answer. It's nothing personal, and I imagine I'm not fun to talk to, either.

But I can listen and offer advice if people want that. (Unrelated to suicide.) So even if I like someone's posts and thoughts on the forum, I even care for them, I don't like the obligation of friendship 9/10 times. I love people, but hate commitment unless we really "click", which is rare. It sounds like an oxymoron, but I really do want the best for everyone and I like to see people happy from a distance.

One person I DMed is a good friend on mine now, and the other, @LastFlowers I haven't seen in a while. Hope she's okay. I actually enjoyed our discussions.

 

[Kismet]

Question for the OP. Do you receive a lot of pm's or have you received something that makes you question how other people feel about them?

I've received 2 and sent one since being on this forum. The 2 I received eye in reply to a comment i posted and were not unexpected. The one I sent was to check on someone that was going through a hard time

 

[whatevs]

This is what makes the chat so hard to participate in.

I think, I overthink it and once I do set in on a comment, the moment has passed and the conversation has went another direction. Even if I do post a comment, I feel like people don't know how to interpret it.

The chat is not for everyone but also depends on who's there. Sometimes I go in and feel comfortable with the right clique, sometimes I don't like the people there. And if there are 35 people in it becomes unreadable.

 

[Kismet]

The chat is not for everyone but also depends on who's there. Sometimes I go in and feel comfortable with the right clique, sometimes I don't like the people there. And of there are 35 people in it becomes unreadable.

It does become unbearable very quickly sometimes. Even when there are multiple rooms, they seem to be the same people so if I don't feel comfortable in one room, the others are the same. I'm not saying it's wrong, just saying what it is.

I usually can't relate is my problem and I'm not quick witted with the conversation in any chat overall. I usually just linger and type out a dozen messages that i never send lol

 

[Symbiote]

I'm a low profile person and keep myself guarded at times, but some of the conversations I've had with people on here I have kept even though they're gone now because they were deep and meaningful.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

This is what makes the chat so hard to participate in.

I think, I overthink it and once I do set in on a comment, the moment has passed and the conversation has went another direction. Even if I do post a comment, I feel like people don't know how to interpret it.

The small talk thing is definitely difficult for me as well. I'm usually going in 10 different thoughts that I don't even know what is on topic so I say something perceived as strange

I really admire the people that can do it though. I also procrastinate just about everything because I'm waiting for the right time to focus and it ends up being too late is another one of my issues.

I definitely can't small talk in person, I get so nervous and anxious and my words come out all jumbled lol

Do you post much on any of the socials? I don't, can't stand the thought of someone being negative or having a laugh at my expense

I never participate in chats...they are wayyy too fast paced for me. Often times people are saying things in small words and I have trouble typing too much. I'm a slow person that likes to stop and think before responding.

It's defiantly must be nice that it can come naturally to people. It's become so foreign to me.

I don't mind small talk in text but it does make me nervous also in real life setting.

I got rid of my socials due to it giving me anxiety. I am sadly a jealous person, so I start feeling bad whenever I see how successful people are at my age or younger while I am sitting here doing nothing - but that's also why I didn't like it, I always questioned what I typed. I didn't wanna become one of the victims of ridicule.

Question for the OP. Do you receive a lot of pm's or have you received something that makes you question how other people feel about them?

I've received 2 and sent one since being on this forum. The 2 I received eye in reply to a comment i posted and were not unexpected. The one I sent was to check on someone that was going through a hard time

On here I received only one, only for them to leave suddenly. So I'm guessing I wasn't meeting their expectations. On other places, usually people just stop replying to me. I would like to send my own, but I kinda need reason to. I feel like if I start asking "what's up?" I'm not gonna get much anywhere.

 

[apoptosis]

yes I do :)

 

[fatefulstillness]

I do. I'm always up for a good conversation.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

It's always nice to connect with people who understand, even for a short conversation. Haven't gotten much beyond that.

 

[Kismet]

I never participate in chats...they are wayyy too fast paced for me. Often times people are saying things in small words and I have trouble typing too much. I'm a slow person that likes to stop and think before responding.

It's defiantly must be nice that it can come naturally to people. It's become so foreign to me.

I don't mind small talk in text but it does make me nervous also in real life setting.

I got rid of my socials due to it giving me anxiety. I am sadly a jealous person, so I start feeling bad whenever I see how successful people are at my age or younger while I am sitting here doing nothing - but that's also why I didn't like it, I always questioned what I typed. I didn't wanna become one of the victims of ridicule.

On here I received only one, only for them to leave suddenly. So I'm guessing I wasn't meeting their expectations. On other places, usually people just stop replying to me. I would like to send my own, but I kinda need reason to. I feel like if I start asking "what's up?" I'm not gonna get much anywhere.

I definitely understand this. All of my social accounts aren't me, they're just some fake name and fake account just to pass the time and because nobody wants to know me anyway. No picture of me can be found anywhere, I think I'm too sensitive honestly and let things bother me that shouldn't.

Idk, the world is pretty messed up, everything is a competition it's kind of how I interpret it most of the time. I overthink there hell out of everything and I usually think I am the problem anymore. I do try and participate in the chat though usually not very successful lol conversations usually die with me. Just saying I kind of get it i guess

 

[Message In A Bottle]

I definitely understand this. All of my social accounts aren't me, they're just some fake name and fake account just to pass the time and because nobody wants to know me anyway. No picture of me can be found anywhere, I think I'm too sensitive honestly and let things bother me that shouldn't.

Idk, the world is pretty messed up, everything is a competition it's kind of how I interpret it most of the time. I overthink there hell out of everything and I usually think I am the problem anymore. I do try and participate in the chat though usually not very successful lol conversations usually die with me. Just saying I kind of get it i guess

Well for what it's worth I'm interested to know you, soo your free to message me, I'll listen.
I'm usually in the same boat anyway with no one to talk to

I never take pics of myself to post online, I don't really want to take part in the worldwide beauty contest. I'm aware my looks are average, I don't need to be reminded lol

It does feel that way at times...why it's hard to share anything. I feel like I'm being snubbed whenever I'd post my art on Instagram - as if I wasn't good enough - but they'll sure like something of yours if it meant getting likes back. Idk... it all gives off a bad vibe that I don't like.

But I'm sorry you haven't had much luck with the chats, I don't think they are for everyone. They surely aren't for me - i suck at them. - but from the few convos we've had, you seem pretty cool. I've enjoyed reading your responses.

 

[houseofleaves]

yea i LOVE pm's! receiving one is like a mini holiday for me

 

[Niko66]

Depends entirely on the message. I like nice pms, but I am not exactly social or looking to get to know people without having a reason to think we would get along first, and I kinda get along with very few people. Kind and conversational ones though are welcome but I am still not going to be super reliable replying timely.

 

[LastFlowers]

In general, I don't like them. I forgot about my recovery ad and a bunch of people DMed me over time and I came to dread it. I felt bad, but I had to stop responding eventually. I'm a horrible conversationalist, and I'm just not interested in most people. Things easily become stilted and it's an obligation to scrounge up an answer. It's nothing personal, and I imagine I'm not fun to talk to, either.

But I can listen and offer advice if people want that. (Unrelated to suicide.) So even if I like someone's posts and thoughts on the forum, I even care for them, I don't like the obligation of friendship 9/10 times. I love people, but hate commitment unless we really "click", which is rare. It sounds like an oxymoron, but I really do want the best for everyone and I like to see people happy from a distance.

One person I DMed is a good friend on mine now, and the other, @LastFlowers I haven't seen in a while. Hope she's okay. I actually enjoyed our discussions.

I am so very sorry, I have not been on here for awhile and I know I promised to get back to you on multiple occasions, over and over..then, admittedly, I never did.
I hope to at least respond to your last messages you took the time to write to me, (if you would even still want a response at this point!) if I can find the energy soon.
I've been very bad off, and there was also an unforeseen event that I became involved with that has taken any time I would have away from me, as well as inciting extra sleep deprivation.
There are a few other people I still need to respond to as well, it's just that things are only becoming more difficult for me to bear and this impedes further on my ability to communicate and digest text, even within the small corners of the internet in which I have found a voice previously.

I am not unlike you, in the way that I am not in the position for meeting any obligations to others, even if I like them as a person, I'm just so tired and miserable.
I cannot maintain full blown friendships and my apathy and irritation with people in general has been at an all time high, my capacity for compartmentalization and diplomacy is deteriorating.
It's actually nice to know that others are on a similar wavelength where that's concerned.
I don't think my general avoidance of others or even my procrastination regarding pms/dms is an inherent trait though, I think it's unfortunately just a result of ongoing circumstances.
So I apologize to you, and everyone I have not gotten back to on account of all the shit that myself, yourself, and countless members here have suffered and continue to suffer.
I feel very poorly about not getting back to those who I would otherwise like to converse with.

I appreciated our conversations too (I would say enjoy, but I'm not sure I enjoy anything lol, not whilst living like this), still do!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful concerns and for being so kind in your comment even though I've been the definition of 'rude' with my empty promises and failure to get back to you in a respectful time frame.
I wish I could say that you're the only one I need to say this to lol

 

[eatantz]

I love them so much, makes my day! Talking to people in moderation is fun

 

[Heartaches]

I'm mixed. I don't mind them and I've sent them myself before (although, very few and in-between long periods of time), but I freeze if anybody asks me any personal questions. I just don't have that kind of trust around here, not many people have given me a reason to trust them (not trying to imply that I think most people here are malicious, I don't think so, but I like to keep safe due to situations that have gone on in my personal life).

My interactions here are replying to threads or posting in my profile, most of the time. They're impersonal and allow me some distance.​

 

[HereTomorrow]

I always like to keep my PMs open for anyone to speak (especially since I'm on the recovery partners and find a friend megathread), though I've never sent any starter messages to anyone. I find it curious how people have a bit of interest in me since I have a focus on recovery and unique hobbies compared to the average SaSu member to easily click with.

I'm fond with people wanting to talk to me, though not a fan of "Hello" or "How are you?" as intros, since most PMs are from people I've never spoken with, but once in a while I click with someone and we talk bi-weekly about various things. I feel bad for not answering some, and I never mean it personally. It all depends on my mood at any given point.

 

[ImTelling]

Depends on who they are or what they want. I get really scared and worried that I'll get contacted by someone looking to blackmail me. That's always in the back of my head whenever I get messaged.

 

[vitbar]

Isn't it strange how I appreciate recieving them, but fear I'm intruding if I send them?

As rare as they might be I really quite like getting messages. Depending on my mood I can struggle to always reply.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm okay with receiving PMs though I rarely if ever go out of my way to send them. That applies to nearly all avenues of communication really.

 

[Agon321]

I definitely don't like it.
Of course, if someone writes to me, I don't offend them, but I don't like it ;).

I just don't feel comfortable, so I avoid it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I like chatting and my PM is open.

 

[derpyderpins]

I'm okay with receiving PMs though I rarely if ever go out of my way to send them. That applies to nearly all avenues of communication really.

About the same. If I send someone a PM that wasn't prompted by a direct exchange in a thread - or if we haven't clearly established that we are on friendly terms - it's rare and I'm assuming that I am annoying the shit out of that person and ruining their day by reaching out first.

 

[EternalShore]

I love pm's! ^_^ they're the best! :3 You get to learn more about other people and befriend them that way! :D Unfortunately, the pm rules here are rather strict, and you have to ask first which makes it quite a hassle~ :( That's why I just tell everyone that they can feel free to dm me if they so choose! ^_^

 

[ASp4E]

In general they can be quite interesting, so I don't mind them. But I don't always respond, and I haven't had experience with PMs on this site yet. Like some others here I don't usually initiate, and when I do I sometimes say something stupid unintentionally.