Do you know anybody who ctb? Online & irl

[DeadManLiving]

Yes, some close some not. All tragic. But it is what it is.

 

[urgent]

I saw someone commit suicide as a kid jumping in front of the train

Me too. I was a kid in the car with my family and a person walked around the gate we were stopped at. He was gone so quickly and parts were hanging from a tree. It was surreal. Some kept walking like they didn't notice some looked around and walked away. I also knew someone who got drunk and laid on the tracks in the dark. I know a few who hung themselves and one who shot himself. These are all more recent. Every day someone is in the news now.

 

[Moniker]

Two.

My half-brother killed himself when I was much younger. Like most of my siblings, he was estranged from our abusive dad. Dad blamed it on my brother's mom.

A girl killed herself in high school. She was a friend of friends, so I never knew her well. Lots of people lied about their relationship with her.

I don't think about the deaths that much. I wasn't close with either of them. The reactions have stuck with me the most. That's probably why a lot of prevention talk seems so hollow to me.

 

[LastAcrobat]

A few, some online and in person. I was stuck in some weird self-harm cult (?) at some point in a discord community that involved a lot of people (often well into their 30s and 40s) convincing a lot of minors (including me at the time) into doing SH. A few people there did CTB eventually, especially as the ringleaders turned it into just another way for them to collect CP.

The ones in person I knew a bit more distantly, but my university has a huge suicide problem so everyone knows someone who did it (good to know I won't be out of the ordinary).

 

[gasforme]

I knew someone who was murdered and it was on the news higher profile. I still cry about it sometimes.

 

[MrNobody88]

One of my old friends shot himself. I was hanging out at a friends and he had come over crying. It was my friends place and he didn't let him stay because he had gotten into heavy drugs and was known to be thief sadly. I still remember hearing him cry thinking I should have gotten up and talked to him but I was half drunk at the time.

Later that night he shot himself twice. Forgive the details but he shot himself once and walked around in a daze from what I was told, then did it again fatally. It might be worth noting that could happen if you attempt to use a firearm. Still bothers me to this day, I know a lot of us want to die on here but its still sad.

 

[qu13t5l33p]

All the people I've met who've been successful in their attempts at leaving I met in treatment centers. They were deemed well enough, discharged, and then caught their busses. It's almost like that whole system does more harm than good.

 

[whocaresnobodycares]

I don't know anybody who has.
I remember misunderstanding my dad talking about someone who did when I was a young teen.
There was this family at our church that we did a little bit of travel with. (Ironically, that was probably the last time I was REALLY around guns. We had at least a .410 shotgun and .22 rifle out in the woods, just messing about. Ya know, good ol' Americans shooting at nothing in particular-type fun..... NOT THAT anyone with any earthly sense WOULD use either a measly lil .22 or .410 to die. That's just ASKING for survival while horribly maiming yourself! MAY as well use a BB gun) but I didn't see that family often, or even talk to him much at church. I forget his name, even. It MAY have been Jonathan, not sure. He had a very young son, I recall.
My dad got off the phone, a year or 2 after the woods-guns trip, and told me he had shot himself.
My mind immediately went to thinking it was a gun ACCIDENT, for whatever reason.
So I asked "Is he all right?"
My dad just gave me a puzzled look. "No, he's DEAD."
I immediately realized OH, so NOT an accident, and felt too stupid to follow up with questions. I dunno if my dad even SAID anything after that, anyway. I'm old, and smoked a LOT of grass in the past 18 years. I don't remember much about my childhood and teens, really. It's all several hundred millennia ago, to my brain.
....and I TOOOOOOTALLY want to die. I just don't want to die in a drawn-out way. I'd absolutely love a high-caliber revolver with 1, maybe a 2nd, dum-dum/ hollow-point bullet. A high enough caliber SHOULD not miss or need a 2nd shot.

 

[Dot]

Sme1 wh/ slf grw up wth
Sme1 wh/ slf usd 2 wrk wth
2 ppl wh/ slf usd 2 knw onlne - assumd suicdes bt nt 100% sre

Slf knw 3-4 ppl whse siblngs ctb & 1 persn whse fathr ctb

Mny ppl wh/ slf hd gt 2 knw thru SaSu hve ctb

 

[Arvayn]

I've known a few, but there is one that sticks with me the most.

When I was 13 years old, I knew this one 17 year old kid who interacted with my friend quite a lot.
For some background: The kid in question was an orphan who grew up with physically abusive parents, and ended up in the care of his older sister as his legal guardian, who was also cruel and verbally abusive. She made it known to him that she would disown him and kick him out on his 18th birthday. He was very poor, close to impoverished, and his living conditions at home were fairly inhumane, staying on the couch in the living room and also being given pretty small amounts of food. He was a stick, hollowed out both physically and mentally. He also had a social anxiety disorder and depression.

Anyway, he ends up developing feelings for my friend's girlfriend at the time. The girlfriend tells him to piss off, but he keeps doing things to interact with her in subtle ways, like giving gifts (drawings and flowers), writing letters, etc..
My friend is pissed by this, and he informs me of this kid, and asks me to come with as a +1 in order to confront him and shake him down. I do so, and we rather aggressively tell him to cut it out. Frankly, we were quite demeaning and dehumanizing about it. We were kids and took it very personally.

He tries to defend himself by talking about his home life, his suicidality and struggles, that he's sorry and it's the only hope he has left... I pulled him aside and explained to him why that girl will never love him, and that he has to cut it out. He rather meekly accepts it, says he won't do it again... Come a few weeks later, news hit us that he killed himself via hanging. Nobody missed him, and we even laughed about it. Now that I am older and wiser, looking back on it doesn't make me feel sad, but it makes me feel a bit disappointed in myself, since I view our behaviors as having been ignorant, impulsive and, frankly, stupid and emotionally charged. It was not rational at all. We should have just ignored him.
I think the kid was a lost cause; he had failing grades and no employable skills, as well as being a sheltered shut-in. He'd have to be taught how to integrate into the world from the ground up, and for what? No one had any reason or heart to help him. He often refused to permit concern from others, as well as having a lot of misogynistic beliefs and degenerate habits; he certainly was no saint. Even so, I do not blame him, and I believe I should have been easier on him. It was not that serious.

 

[InevitableDeath]

Yeah, quite a few. One woman who, imho, was essentially pushed into hanging herself by a shoddy, ignorant, dismissive mental health team. Some of those so called professionals shouldn't be anywhere near vulnerable people.

At best they overprescribe meds they have no real concept of the side effects, as have been told to prescribe them for profit. Meds that often increase the risk of suicide.

At worst, having met so many terrible MH pros myself, I am 100% certain some enjoy that power of death they have. I was always tough enough to call those abusers out and refuse to continue the sesssion or see them again, but I know many patients who wouldn't. And that's what happened to my friend.

Some of those MH teams are connected to neighbourhood watch and churches. Which might seem like a good idea, but is really a license to covertly abuse in the community. I read accounts of gang stalking and I think it could be this, as much as religious groups or criminal gangs.

 

[Exhausted546]

I've known a few, but there is one that sticks with me the most.

When I was 13 years old, I knew this one 17 year old kid who interacted with my friend quite a lot.
For some background: The kid in question was an orphan who grew up with physically abusive parents, and ended up in the care of his older sister as his legal guardian, who was also cruel and verbally abusive. She made it known to him that she would disown him and kick him out on his 18th birthday. He was very poor, close to impoverished, and his living conditions at home were fairly inhumane, staying on the couch in the living room and also being given pretty small amounts of food. He was a stick, hollowed out both physically and mentally. He also had a social anxiety disorder and depression.

Anyway, he ends up developing feelings for my friend's girlfriend at the time. The girlfriend tells him to piss off, but he keeps doing things to interact with her in subtle ways, like giving gifts (drawings and flowers), writing letters, etc..
My friend is pissed by this, and he informs me of this kid, and asks me to come with as a +1 in order to confront him and shake him down. I do so, and we rather aggressively tell him to cut it out. Frankly, we were quite demeaning and dehumanizing about it. We were kids and took it very personally.

He tries to defend himself by talking about his home life, his suicidality and struggles, that he's sorry and it's the only hope he has left... I pulled him aside and explained to him why that girl will never love him, and that he has to cut it out. He rather meekly accepts it, says he won't do it again... Come a few weeks later, news hit us that he killed himself via hanging. Nobody missed him, and we even laughed about it. Now that I am older and wiser, looking back on it doesn't make me feel sad, but it makes me feel a bit disappointed in myself, since I view our behaviors as having been ignorant, impulsive and, frankly, stupid and emotionally charged. It was not rational at all. We should have just ignored him.
I think the kid was a lost cause; he had failing grades and no employable skills, as well as being a sheltered shut-in. He'd have to be taught how to integrate into the world from the ground up, and for what? No one had any reason or heart to help him. He often refused to permit concern from others, as well as having a lot of misogynistic beliefs and degenerate habits; he certainly was no saint. Even so, I do not blame him, and I believe I should have been easier on him. It was not that serious.

This is kinda wild NGL. I actually feel sorry for him unless he was extremely bigoted about minorities and women

 

[Arvayn]

This is kinda wild NGL. I actually feel sorry for him unless he was extremely bigoted about minorities and women

Yeah, I agree. Guy was dealt the worst possible set of cards from birth. The world failed him in every possible aspect, and he was never given a single chance to actually improve himself. How WOULD someone have helped him in his situation? Let him live with them? That's kind of outrageous. Show him love? He was hard to like: Chronically sexual, emotionally stunted, avoidant, uneducated... Definitely wasn't outwardly bigoted, though. He was too timid for that.

Just... He was not evil, far from it, but the fact that he had no redeemable qualities made people ignore him. Just kind of the average greasy haired white boy teenager with an anime addiction.

 

[BlueberryDeer]

Two university colleagues died by suicide. One in 2013 and another in 2024.
Since we entered at the same semester, I fear I could be the next.

 

[timeisrunning]

A few, some online and in person. I was stuck in some weird self-harm cult (?) at some point in a discord community that involved a lot of people (often well into their 30s and 40s) convincing a lot of minors (including me at the time) into doing SH. A few people there did CTB eventually, especially as the ringleaders turned it into just another way for them to collect CP.

The ones in person I knew a bit more distantly, but my university has a huge suicide problem so everyone knows someone who did it (good to know I won't be out of the ordinary).

Damn that discord story is absolutely crazy!

 

[Ligottian]

Not anyone I knew personally but plenty I knew about. One guy hung himself on Father's Day. Sending a message, you think?

 

[LastAcrobat]

Damn that discord story is absolutely crazy!

It's surprisingly common (I think). I really don't like discord as a platform because of shit like that.

 

[timeisrunning]

It's surprisingly common (I think). I really don't like discord as a platform because of shit like that.

So mad. Anyway glad you survived it. Discord is a cesspool