Do you have Autism/Asperger?

[czx85]

Interactive Autism Network (IAN) Research Project Archive

Select articles from the original Interactive Autism Network (IAN) community website have been archived by Kennedy Krieger Institute.

iancommunity.org

I have Asperger symptoms, which I believe plays a huge factor why I'm suicidal.

By reading many of your posts, I suspect lots of you might have Autism or Asperger symptoms as well. Such as experiencing the urge feeling, lacking of social support based on poor social skills, and many more symptoms.

 

[Marktheghost]

I certainly lack social support, and seem to have crap social skills.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

I was going through therapy in 2012-13 and later diagnosed with ASD in 2014 since the APA stopped ruling aspergers as a valid diagnosis. In addition I received an IEP for my diagnosis and that got me through high school. I personally never liked using ASD as a crutch or an excuse, although I acknowledge personally in some circumstances that it does get the best of me. I'm also fortunate to be on the higher end of the spectrum.

 

[seafarer]

Aspers,depression the while nine yards as they say. Deffo a link dunno if I comes from not fitting socially or just not fitting in because of over anylsys of everything and every situation that brain just gets overwhelmed virtually at all times

 

[YukiFox]

I was diagnosed as Asperger at 15 years old. Since then I refuse to identify as well but finally I accepted. I'm awful to achieve endurance friendships and romantic partners.
I don't consider autism as the main trigger for my death thoughts. But I hope I can recovery in the future and live happy as a trans woman the rest of my days.

 

[czx85]

I was going through therapy in 2012-13 and later diagnosed with ASD in 2014 since the APA stopped ruling aspergers as a valid diagnosis. In addition I received an IEP for my diagnosis and that got me through high school. I personally never liked using ASD as a crutch or an excuse, although I acknowledge personally in some circumstances that it does get the best of me. I'm also fortunate to be on the higher end of the spectrum.

Yea, as the higher end of the spectrum, we need to remember there are lots of people are at the worse situation than us.
But some research also shows the ones with higher intelligence are more likely to be suicidal. Maybe they understand the situation around themselves better...

Aspers,depression the while nine yards as they say. Deffo a link dunno if I comes from not fitting socially or just not fitting in because of over anylsys of everything and every situation that brain just gets overwhelmed virtually at all times

yea me too, it's very exhausting for me to interact with people. I got tired very fast, and that isn't enjoyable.

 

[Lastravel]

Autistic symptoms I guess but a clinic which called themself "schizophrenic expert center" told me I suffer from schizophrenia in a catatonic form. And yeah the disease is something which motivates to ctb for sure. Besides studies show that people with mental disorder are more likely to ctb than others.

Now I don't say that everyone who wants to end their life have mental disorder even if this is what most of doctors think.

 

[TAW122]

Yes, I do. I have been officially diagnosed at around age 16 by a licensed psychologist and then re-diagnosed once again at age 23. I find more drawbacks with this ailment than any advantages and wished I didn't have it. Unless I'm in the top 1% of the population, like the super-geniuses of the world (Tesla, Einstein, Newton, etc.), it's more of a curse than a blessing. I would be more than glad to trade 10-15 IQ points from my existing one to NOT have this ailment and be able to have a decent social life as well as real respect and dignity from my fellow peers.

I have read the article you linked and the findings are generally correct, especially with how the world treats autistic people and how the world itself isn't really set up/catered towards said people. Socially and economically, autistic people are seriously disadvantaged. As someone with Aspergers, I too, have experienced those two major factors and the poor social skills and a world that isn't suited towards my condition is an ongoing and big reason for my wanting to CTB.

Last but not least, the stupid obligatory suicide prevention number and information boxed in the right hand side of the article, halfway through the page. Because, "let's just call or text that stupid hotline (who can and will send forced intervention should they believe one is in danger of harm to self or others.) and that will make life amazing!" /s Anyways, on a more serious note, life as someone on the spectrum (I can't and I don't speak for all, but a fair amount, including myself) is just not worth it. The amount of pain and suffering from social and economic exclusion, ostracization, and the other negatives in life far outweigh the pleasures in life.

 

[Shinbu]

I could be who knows?. I'm not good at talking when I have to use my mouth to communicate. Writing, or typing to communicate is better for me. I often feel misunderstood when I speak.

 

[seafarer]

Yep not saying it so you feel sad for me but I don't have any friends at all as I find it just too much to deal with,I'm a guy and as egotistical as it sound would be classed attractive so had plenty of girls as friends and grielfriends but they don't because last just can't cope the with normal things like going out ,meeting their friends and all things normal people find easy

 

[czx85]

I was diagnosed as Asperger at 15 years old. Since then I refuse to identify as well but finally I accepted. I'm awful to achieve endurance friendships and romantic partners.
I don't consider autism as the main trigger for my death thoughts. But I hope I can recovery in the future and live happy as a trans woman the rest of my days.

Yea I can relate to that. I'm biological a female, but always like to dress like a male. I think my situation might be slightly easier, because most of the male clothes are more loose, so I can hide my body shape

 

[Majin K.]

I have done several online tests, but in all tests except one I only scored enough points where it's possible, but uncertain. I mean since I'm planning to CTB before summer anyways, I don't see the point in getting a diagnosis. Though I have always struggled in school and have always been really bad at maths. So I can't even become a bookkeeper or programmer and other office jobs with little customer contact are slowly being replaced by AI. Honestly I would rather die than do a job with customer contact and I hate phone calls as well.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I was diagnosed ASD just over a year ago, I'm 47,and had lifelong issues with mental health etc

 

[czx85]

Yes, I do. I have been officially diagnosed at around age 16 by a licensed psychologist and then re-diagnosed once again at age 23. I find more drawbacks with this ailment than any advantages and wished I didn't have it. Unless I'm in the top 1% of the population, like the super-geniuses of the world (Tesla, Einstein, Newton, etc.), it's more of a curse than a blessing. I would be more than glad to trade 10-15 IQ points from my existing one to NOT have this ailment and be able to have a decent social life as well as real respect and dignity from my fellow peers.

I have read the article you linked and the findings are generally correct, especially with how the world treats autistic people and how the world itself isn't really set up/catered towards said people. Socially and economically, autistic people are seriously disadvantaged. As someone with Aspergers, I too, have experienced those two major factors and the poor social skills and a world that isn't suited towards my condition is an ongoing and big reason for my wanting to CTB.

Last but not least, the stupid obligatory suicide prevention number and information boxed in the right hand side of the article, halfway through the page. Because, "let's just call or text that stupid hotline (who can and will send forced intervention should they believe one is in danger of harm to self or others.) and that will make life amazing!" /s Anyways, on a more serious note, life as someone on the spectrum (I can't and I don't speak for all, but a fair amount, including myself) is just not worth it. The amount of pain and suffering from social and economic exclusion, ostracization, and the other negatives in life far outweigh the pleasures in life.

I honestly think the success has more to deal with luck. Another random aspie can easily become a super geniuses if they have some other life experiences. Or Einstein & Newton could just die with nobody knowing their names.
But yes, most of us ended up not in the "lucky" category. And ended up have a some-what miserable life.
I still think the society might improve in term of their awareness for Autism's. In the past years, the society "offers" people with mental disorder and disability a better environment. Same thing could happen to Autism's as well.

 

[The Abyss]

Diagnosed Asperger's after paying to get a diagnosis last year, lived in isolation for years with parents, father has traits of "high functioning" Autism but hasn't been assessed & mother had tell tale signs of Diogenes syndrome (hoarding, hygiene) & manic depression, everyday she'd say today was worse than the previous & she wish she was dead; cancer saw to that in the end.

Bullied at school resulting in a lot of non attendance & lived in a highly negative ghetto for years with racism issues due to being in a minority on a local scale. No friends network, no family support other than father & no relationships. Extreme poverty didn't help either tbf.

Interacting with ppl is not fun.

 

[Kassender]

Not diagnosed, but i can relate to so much of the stuff asd people experience, i would not be surprised.

Ostracism, unemployment, low executive functioning...

I do have adhd too, though, because my life couldnt suck enough

 

[antler]

Another not diagnosed, but with more than enough symptoms. It's funny, I've met enough psychology people that I feel I should have been diagnosed already if that's what were going on, but then, maybe they figure it's something you get tagged with as a kid. It doesn't really matter either way.

 

[The Abyss]

Another not diagnosed, but with more than enough symptoms. It's funny, I've met enough psychology people that I feel I should have been diagnosed already if that's what were going on, but then, maybe they figure it's something you get tagged with as a kid. It doesn't really matter either way.

There's far more ASD sufferers than ppl realize, many slip through the cracks as children for a variety of reasons & go on to struggle as adults or ctb when it all becomes too much.

 

[TCA]

There's far more ASD sufferers than ppl realize, many slip through the cracks as children for a variety of reasons & go on to struggle as adults or ctb when it all becomes too much.

Do you play runescape

 

[The Abyss]

Do you play runescape

Many moons ago when osrs was the current one, gave my account away in the end.

 

[Reallyreallyreally]

Yea, as the higher end of the spectrum, we need to remember there are lots of people are at the worse situation than us.
But some research also shows the ones with higher intelligence are more likely to be suicidal. Maybe they understand the situation around themselves better...

This is well documented. The reason for it is that at the high end of the spectrum you catch on well enough to the subtleties to see exactly how you're perceived. Not only do we experience the isolation, we are perfectly cognizant of peoples distaste for us, with little to no ability to remedy what it is they don't like, and so it goes around in circles.

Most autistic people deal with harassment, but at the high end of the spectrum you're a wide-open receiver to the covert as well. We know we're getting it wrong but not to the degree that we can decode it and "fix" it. Pair the constant rejection with the autistic person's tendency to be a little obsessive about things and you have a perfect recipe for mental health problems.

It's been said again and again that autism is not a disability, but that the world around us disables us. Yes, some situations are harder than ours, but that doesn't mean that we need to invalidate the pain that we feel in our own lives. The world does that for us enough without doing it ourselves as well. No air and no light causes wounds to fester, whether physical, mental, emotional, or social.

 

[Mm80]

Ive done the ados test and the adir interview and go back to the hospital on tues for the results. I and many close to me think i will be diagnosed with hfa.
If so i will feel a little robbed as im 39 now and have been treated for depression alone,since 18. Not one psychiatrist or mental health worker suspected it. I grew up in the 80s and nobody knew of it.
I think still there is a huge amount of ignorance in society about it. Particularity high functioning autism. With all due respect it is obvious when somebody has classic autism. When its high functioning its far more sublte and others are more like to simply write you off as weird, ignorant, unsociable etc.
My guess is that a lot more adults have it and are undiagnosed, simply written off as depressed with a chemical inbalance like i was.
Its logical because high functioning autism leaves a person socially isolated, feeling different, often rejected. Of course this would lead to incidences of depression and suicide.
All a diagnosis will do is relieve me of the guilt of getting many relationships wrong in life and not achieving what i could have. Problem is it doesnt change where we are now and there isnt a cure.

 

[The Abyss]

Ive done the ados test and the adir interview and go back to the hospital on tues for the results. I and many close to me think i will be diagnosed with hfa.
If so i will feel a little robbed as im 39 now and have been treated for depression alone,since 18. Not one psychiatrist or mental health worker suspected it. I grew up in the 80s and nobody knew of it.
I think still there is a huge amount of ignorance in society about it. Particularity high functioning autism. With all due respect it is obvious when somebody has classic autism. When its high functioning its far more sublte and others are more like to simply write you off as weird, ignorant, unsociable etc.
My guess is that a lot more adults have it and are undiagnosed, simply written off as depressed with a chemical inbalance like i was.
Its logical because high functioning autism leaves a person socially isolated, feeling different, often rejected. Of course this would lead to incidences of depression and suicide.
All a diagnosis will do is relieve me of the guilt of getting many relationships wrong in life and not achieving what i could have. Problem is it doesnt change where we are now and there isnt a cure.

You in the UK? England is woefully behind Netherlands & USA to name two places when it comes to public awareness of the condition. Thanks in no small part to the media/entertainment outlets & regular autistic meltdowns of small children in supermarkets the average persons preconceptions of ASD are that you're either a super genius savant (the good doctor, rain man) or a retarded sperg; there is no middle ground & ppl think you're faking as they cannot SEE a physical manifestation of your condition.

Mental health disabilities are the unseen problem.

 

[Reallyreallyreally]

Ive done the ados test and the adir interview and go back to the hospital on tues for the results. I and many close to me think i will be diagnosed with hfa.
If so i will feel a little robbed as im 39 now and have been treated for depression alone,since 18. Not one psychiatrist or mental health worker suspected it. I grew up in the 80s and nobody knew of it.
I think still there is a huge amount of ignorance in society about it. Particularity high functioning autism. With all due respect it is obvious when somebody has classic autism. When its high functioning its far more sublte and others are more like to simply write you off as weird, ignorant, unsociable etc.
My guess is that a lot more adults have it and are undiagnosed, simply written off as depressed with a chemical inbalance like i was.
Its logical because high functioning autism leaves a person socially isolated, feeling different, often rejected. Of course this would lead to incidences of depression and suicide.
All a diagnosis will do is relieve me of the guilt of getting many relationships wrong in life and not achieving what i could have. Problem is it doesnt change where we are now and there isnt a cure.

I was diagnosed at 37 because female presentation is different from male and almost all research is done on men and boys. Many aspie women are misdiagnosed as borderline, bipolar, depressed, etc. Many are either never diagnosed or diagnosed at middle age or higher. I would never have been diagnosed if I hadn't been in therapy for other reasons with someone who just happened to know what she was looking at. I was giving therapy one final try. I got very lucky.

As for the cure, it isn't an illness. The cure is public awareness and acceptance. We wouldn't have such high rates of mental illness if we weren't subject to unwavering rejection, isolation, harassment, and gaslighting.

 

[Mm80]

You in the UK? England is woefully behind Netherlands & USA to name two places when it comes to public awareness of the condition. Thanks in no small part to the media/entertainment outlets & regular autistic meltdowns of small children in supermarkets the average persons preconceptions of ASD are that you're either a super genius savant (the good doctor, rain man) or a retarded sperg; there is no middle ground & ppl think you're faking as they cannot SEE a physical manifestation of your condition.

Mental health disabilities are the unseen problem.

Yes uk and i couldnt agree more.i had to almost beg for an assessment after friends and colkeagues with autism experience saw it in me.so true about the two extremes. I have a slightly higher iq than average but im in no way some sort of genius, id imagine thats the same for most with high functioning autism.
America are so much further ahead and almost see mental health as important as physical, in the uk its still a taboo

I was diagnosed at 37 because female presentation is different from male and almost all research is done on men and boys. Many aspie women are misdiagnosed as borderline, bipolar, depressed, etc. Many are either never diagnosed or diagnosed at middle age or higher. I would never have been diagnosed if I hadn't been in therapy for other reasons with someone who just happened to know what she was looking at. I was giving therapy one final try. I got very lucky.

As for the cure, it isn't an illness. The cure is public awareness and acceptance. We wouldn't have such high rates of mental illness if we weren't subject to unwavering rejection, isolation, harassment, and gaslighting.

Uk?
Yes ive read that its almost harder to see in females due to different expectations or masking ?
I suppose cure is the wrong word as its not a disease. I wonder if society will ever accept it as a real thing tbh, due to its subtleties as mentioned above.
Did a diagnosis help you and if so how?
Thanks

 

[The Abyss]

Yes uk and i couldnt agree more.i had to almost beg for an assessment after friends and colkeagues with autism experience saw it in me.so true about the two extremes. I have a slightly higher iq than average but im in no way some sort of genius, id imagine thats the same for most with high functioning autism.
America are so much further ahead and almost see mental health as important as physical, in the uk its still a taboo

The funny part is Australia, an ex prison island has way more support in terms of benefits for ASD folk than the bloody host country.

What's the deal with the taboo mental health thing over here, just pretend everything is fine; it's all hunky dory. Harks back to the days of bedlam "let's laugh at the fuck ups" times of old; can't shake it or maybe it's the aloof never get too close to someone, we have acquaintances not friends nature of the culture here? That last part being more of a southern issue than northern.

Telling ppl you're on the spectrum is a real gamble tbf as many will treat you as an oddity & you better hope a sociopath doesn't get wind of it or they may gaslight & try to benefit from knowing the inner workings of your weaknesses.

 

[Mr2005]

Apparently I do but I dunno. I think I've just smoked far too much weed

 

[absurd_to_the_end]

I haven't been assessed but strongly suspect I have ASD. I'm old enough that assessments were likely a rare thing when I was a child. Also it's only recently that they understand better how it presents in females.

This is well documented. The reason for it is that at the high end of the spectrum you catch on well enough to the subtleties to see exactly how you're perceived. Not only do we experience the isolation, we are perfectly cognizant of peoples distaste for us, with little to no ability to remedy what it is they don't like, and so it goes around in circles.

This describes perfectly how it feels to me. It took me many (blissfully unaware) years to learn the subtleties of people's responses to me.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I don't know if I am on the spectrum or not. I don't have special interests and never steam. But my social skills are truly horrendous, I never had friends until recently (I am not sure if they are my friends but they say so) I am very often find myself in situation when I have nothing to say and struggling to relate to other people, I have flattened affect.
I don't know if I am on the spectrum but something is definitely gone very wrong.
One time I was diagnosed with shizoid personality disorder and maybe that fits better.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

My psychiatrist thinks I'm on the spectrum
I certainly have many of the characteristics
It seems that nowadays lots of people are suspected of being on the spectrum