Do you have anyone whos dependant on you? How to deal with it?

[SplitInfrastructure]

I have a friend whos dependant on me and I dont know what to do, if my activities dont involve her she gets sad, even if its something that she can join like a little grill we had on a friend trip, most recently is going to the swimming pool

I know she doesnt do it on purpose and its hard to get out of but I just sometimes look out the window of our room and think that the only way out is jumping head on, I feel like an emotional support dog and nothing else sometimes, keeping her in line and keeping her from self harm that she still does around me despite it taking a toll on me

I do really feel like I have to leave sometimes. Its never violent, its never physical or insults and I dont wanna just leave her at all. I wanna keep giving her chances, I know that it might not be the best idea but I really dont know what to do, she says she doesnt wanna kill herself, she doesnt wanna get professional help but she always clings to me and I feel like I have to carry myself around as well as her. Other people told me its hard with her too whenever they talk, that they understand me. But no matter how many times she agrees to go to therapy she just backs off saying she doesnt need it. and it comes back to me again as Im compelled to sit with her through all the lows and 'keep her in line', making sure shes breathing correctly or taking care of herself.

Im just tired. I want a break from this but I cant just take a break out of this because Ill feel like a dick

 

[Stormy Raine]

Let me 1st say you sound like a wonderful friend I'm sure any therapist would suggest she has a few mental health issues as well as I do. Your friend has you emotionally bonded to her and that's not what a real does, I'm sure it's not intentional but it's not right. Let me share my story, I had an ex who moved away but wanted us to reconnect and pursue a future, but I was and still am in a horrible mental state I simply can't get out of. I knew no matter what his life was he would always answer my calls and always stay on the phone through my many suicidal ideations. One day I called and as usual I was suicidal, he didn't answer, I was enraged and felt so alone, I decided I would show him and I did my method and of course I didn't succeed. I made it my business to share with him I tried and asked him why he couldn't simply answer the phone that day? He said he answered so many and that day he was simply busy and he was sorry and I blocked him. Blocking him was probably the best thing I could have done for him. I now realize how selfish I was to him, it was always about me and I can't expect my friends to monitor me and always be there. My advice to you is have a sit down with your friend and tell her you love her and explain how difficult this is for YOU! Make her aware her behavior won't be tolerated and you as a living friend will be there to help her find a therapist and even go to her initial appointment with her. Let her know you have your own issues and how challenging this is for YOU. I think my bigggest point is sometimes we are so consumed with our own mental hell and we bring our friends down with us, but we seldomly think how our friends feel. I think it's great to tell her and set boundaries. Ex: my bedtime is 10pm and my phone ringer will be off because I need rest and I have to work. That's a clear and precise boundary that anyone can understand. I hope that makes sense and can be helpful to you.

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

Let me 1st say you sound like a wonderful friend I'm sure any therapist would suggest she has a few mental health issues as well as I do. Your friend has you emotionally bonded to her and that's not what a real does, I'm sure it's not intentional but it's not right. Let me share my story, I had an ex who moved away but wanted us to reconnect and pursue a future, but I was and still am in a horrible mental state I simply can't get out of. I knew no matter what his life was he would always answer my calls and always stay on the phone through my many suicidal ideations. One day I called and as usual I was suicidal, he didn't answer, I was enraged and felt so alone, I decided I would show him and I did my method and of course I didn't succeed. I made it my business to share with him I tried and asked him why he couldn't simply answer the phone that day? He said he answered so many and that day he was simply busy and he was sorry and I blocked him. Blocking him was probably the best thing I could have done for him. I now realize how selfish I was to him, it was always about me and I can't expect my friends to monitor me and always be there. My advice to you is have a sit down with your friend and tell her you love her and explain how difficult this is for YOU! Make her aware her behavior won't be tolerated and you as a living friend will be there to help her find a therapist and even go to her initial appointment with her. Let her know you have your own issues and how challenging this is for YOU. I think my bigggest point is sometimes we are so consumed with our own mental hell and we bring our friends down with us, but we seldomly think how our friends feel. I think it's great to tell her and set boundaries. Ex: my bedtime is 10pm and my phone ringer will be off because I need rest and I have to work. That's a clear and precise boundary that anyone can understand. I hope that makes sense and can be helpful to you.

I wanna talk about it with her, but I dont know how to explain it really, I absolutely dont want her to feel bad at all. For now, shes on the going to a therapist side so if she will back out again I will go through the talk, for now I dont wanna add on anything I mostly needed a plan when she eventually backs out and just vent
Thank you for your response, its nice to hear it from a different perspective
Im going to the swimming pool in a few days and I need to take care of myself as well as lately Ive been nothing but stomach issues and forgetting meds because all of this so I hope Ill find some peace