Discussion Do you have a certain CBD date?

[sleazyyyy]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I don't have an exact date set, but it will be within the next two months. I just plan on ctb on my own terms, and whatever day I feel like doing it. I plan on doing a few things first before I go(no, nothing criminal).

 

[sleazyyyy]

I don't have an exact date set, but it will be within the next two months. I just plan on ctb on my own terms, and whatever day I feel like doing it. I plan on doing a few things first before I go(no, nothing criminal).

Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind me asking, are those things you wanted to do something you've planned for a long time?

It's a gratitude I'm able to share a few words with you before your plan. I hope you get the rest you're looking for on the day you CTB ♡

 

[Spite]

I don't think I have any specific date set in mind, no. I'll CTB when I can't take it anymore. Though if I had to pick a date I have vaguely thought of November 6th as a CTB date, only because that was the day my father disowned me and forever fucked my life over. If I killed myself on that day, the anniversary of the worst day of my life, it would be done as a massive, permanent 'fuck you' to my father.

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CBD date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CBD plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

I hope you can find what your looking for. I hope you can find a date and time that suits you. I hope you can come to a decision that brings you peace of mind.

Good luck.

Would you want to do a specific date if you got the stuff you needed?

I had a failed attempt and it brought me a lot of clarity. I was originally planning on doing it on my birthday. I was gonna goto a beach and drown after drinking a bunch, but I'd probably chicken out again.

I've postponed the date another month, to see some people one final time, to graduate and to finish everything I need to do.

I hope to goto the beach for the first time and enjoy it, even if I'm alone. I'll then eat a ton of yummy food. Wait the next day and then the next day I'll wait until I can eventually end myself. Probably in some sort of accomodation.

Thank you for reading.

 

[wine is fine but]

I don't think I have any specific date set in mind, no. I'll CTB when I can't take it anymore. Though if I had to pick a date I have vaguely thought of November 6th as a CTB date, only because that was the day my father disowned me and forever fucked my life over. If I killed myself on that day, the anniversary of the worst day of my life, it would be done as a massive, permanent 'fuck you' to my father.

but then he wins - and if he has disowned you, then he will not care anyway . . . he does not deserve victory, even just a symbolic one

i hope you can find happiness soon - you have all of the right ingredients in place. you have got through the more difficult years already. you have a wife. you have a home. there seems to be some blessings that a lot of others do not have. that isn't saying that you have it easy, but at least you have a decent starting point. hopefully it becomes possible for you to take advantage of them, because if you leave, you have already said, your wife and mum will be devastated

 

[lpdsvm]

I will CTB by 2029 after my documents get expired so I don't get deported. If the russian consulate doesn't renew my documents, I will do it because screw them I won't come back.
If somehow it all works out I won't have any specific CTB date.
I know it's a long time but it doesn't guarantee 100 percent that I will not CTB this fall or next summer. I'm learning to accept that I cannot control jack. All I can do is leave on my own terms. I need to stay calm and less emotional and just live with some sanity. I will need to do it one day anyway so how is that different.