Discussion Do you guys want to be suicidal? if you had the choice of paying and everything that made you feel suicidal would disappear would you do it?

[MiMif]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

 

[Innereye]

I would be homeless for the rest of my life if i had good health mental and physical.

 

[sserafim]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

Definitely. I would get rid of my neurodivergence in a heartbeat. Fuck Asperger's/autism. I hope one day someone finds a cure for this stupid disease. I'd also like to get rid of my ADHD and social anxiety as well. It would be nice to be able to be a normal human being. I still want to die before 25 though…

 

[outlook56]

I had a lot of money and one thing is for sure, there were problems

 

[Pluto]

This is a really interesting question.

The easy answer here would be that no amount of money would purchase a non-psychopathic family, nor would it buy back the years of darkness spent barely surviving in quiet desperation. Especially as ageing becomes a whole new reason to question one's raison d'être.

But it could also be said that a blank cheque, skillfully invested, can do a lot. A change in location to a really resonant community, all sorts of top-notch therapies/modalities, freedom from unfulfilling employment, the ability to pursue hobbies and so on would add up to a state of mind that is currently incomprehensible.

 

[avaruus]

Of course i would like to be happy, but it would take a lot to happen. It would mean changing the world.

Edit: maybe i misunderstood your question, now that i think i understand it, i would refuse it. I want to hold my values and stay as me.

Edit2: or maybe i did understand it the first time, sorry i'm tired

 

[Asingletwig]

100% I'm envious of those that can enjoy life. I don't want to die but what options do I have, stay around be miserable, go to therapy on the chance I become slightly better equipped at handling my unstable asf brain. Oh and let's not forget the damage trail Ive left behind. Ppl with BPD are often called monsters and tbh they aren't wrong and it's not our fault we literally can't control what we do or say during an episode. I can handle growing up in a shit family but I can't handle my brain constantly pushes me to the edge hoping I'd go over one day. As if its a sick game of chicken. Be so fucking nice if could I just chill working at a pet store and got a degree in something I actually like.

 

[Melly]

I would. I am indifferent to whether I live or die, but I have friends and family who are invested in me getting better that I don't want to hurt.

 

[cherrypiegonnadie]

Yes. If I had to I'd go through hell and back just to feel not even happy but just more okay.
Which is kind of a fight i deal with every day haha in a way I'm already doing that.
But yes, if it were money, absolutely. If there was something to magically fix my brain i would 100%

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Would it also change my past and stop my nightmares? Wanting to die is not something I see as an issue I have to solve anymore. I have to die someday. I'm just choosing that I want it to be now.

 

[TheSource]

Absolutely. Death is a guarantee anyway, we're just speeding up the process. If I had to wait longer, but I'd enjoy my wait, why not?

If I could wake up with happy and be able to enjoy life experiences, and that would be (for the most part) a constant in my life, I see no reason to turn that down.

I can't enjoy things anymore. There's nothing I look forward to anymore. There's no future I want. I can't enjoy living. I tried so hard.

Death is my second choice. Life was my first. Life just isn't working out...

 

[toofargone6969]

Yes. I would pay every last dollar I have to have it all go away so I can live. I don't want to die.

 

[Cheffo]

I had a lot of money and one thing is for sure, there were problems

Right, money would not fix my problems. I large amount would temporarily help, just to wrap up some lose ends, but not fix the underlying problem, which for me is a physical issue with no cure.

 

[MiMif]

L

Of course i would like to be happy, but it would take a lot to happen. It would mean changing the world.

Edit: maybe i misunderstood your question, now that i think i understand it, i would refuse it. I want to hold my values and stay as me.

Edit2: or maybe i did understand it the first time, sorry i'm tired

Lmao your good I barely even understand my own question

Would it also change my past and stop my nightmares? Wanting to die is not something I see as an issue I have to solve anymore. I have to die someday. I'm just choosing that I want it to be now.

Let's just say it does. Everything you can think of that makes you suicidal it takes care of. I mean it's an illogical question that will most likely never happen but whatever.

 

[undecided]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

It's a silly question because it's not possible.

Next...

 

[Foreverix]

I don't think anybody wakes up one day and thinks, 'Hey, I feel like being suicidal from here on out. Yeah, that's a good idea!'

In the beginning, it chooses you, not the other way around. I didn't get strung out on drugs, or wasted with booze, or murder anyone. I just got depressed and felt like a meaningless monster on and off for years. Until eventually, nothing felt real anymore, reality seemed like a boring, bad dream, and I was constantly trying to look away from the black hole plaguing my mind. It feels like a void constantly nipping at your heels.

And people do pay to make those thoughts and feelings disappear temporarily. They buy food, sex, drugs, psych meds, therapy, vacations, books, movies, music, cars, houses, etc. For most of us, it's a neverending quest to buy things and stay distracted from the dark reality we don't want to face.

I would consider paying to feel the security and wonder I felt as a child again though. But only if it were permanent.

No. Not like Peter Pan. He was a fucking twit.

 

[alterationitfinds]

i think even if you find being suicidal comforting to a certain degree, even if you enjoy it, that given the opportunity most people would throw all their money away to not feel this way. i know for a fact that i would. even if it wasn't affordable i would do everything in my power to find the money to pay for it.

 

[Mea Culpa]

Honestly it's been a part of me for such a long time that I really cant picture myself being any other way. I'd probably refuse. Its unfortunate that I'm comfortable with what I feel and how I feel. It scares me to think of how I would be if it all just suddenly changed. I hate myself, but it's too much a part of me to leave behind.

 

[ToTheTwillight]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

Financial debts could be fixed, but if you are on the spectrum, nothing can fix that. So no

 

[EternalShore]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

That's like priceless! rofl. I'm not even sure how much debt I'd go into for that! >w<

 

[Mista]

Question that sprung up my mind while i was in the dumps. Im really curious to hear your guys responses.

If you were offered to have everything that you felt made you suicidal taken care of if you just payed a certain amount. (Lets just say its affordable) Would you take that offer or would you stay as you are?

I would like to feel better, so yes, I would.

 

[MDMA]

I'll most likely fuck everything up again so no

 

[Mista]

100% I'm envious of those that can enjoy life. I don't want to die but what options do I have, stay around be miserable, go to therapy on the chance I become slightly better equipped at handling my unstable asf brain. Oh and let's not forget the damage trail Ive left behind. Ppl with BPD are often called monsters and tbh they aren't wrong and it's not our fault we literally can't control what we do or say during an episode. I can handle growing up in a shit family but I can't handle my brain constantly pushes me to the edge hoping I'd go over one day. As if its a sick game of chicken. Be so fucking nice if could I just chill working at a pet store and got a degree in something I actually like.

It would be so nice if the world wasn't so fucked up and cruel, but there is nothing we as simple citizens can do to change that. The world is based on money and social class and that's how it has been since the fucking BCs. I don't know how people can enjoy this slice of hell they call life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really want anything other than the eternity of non-existence, what makes me want to die is simply being conscious and aware, suicide feels like the only rational thing to wish for in this cruel and harmful existence. I just don't have any interest in the horrific mistake that is existence, decaying from age is certainly not for me, I prefer the peace of death.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I would pay for an instant and painless end for all sentient life in this manifestation (let's assume it's possible), and after that I surely wouldn't feel suicidal anymore bc I would be gone and rest in eternal peace, free from all suffering as well.

 

[Blue Elephant]

What @avaruus said! The first time! : )

I'm not sad because of me, I'm sad because of the system with all it's components, with all it's indoctrinated ignorant idiots. This is not about money, this is about caring, about logic and understanding.

 

[Archness]

Not really. Sure, this depression, autism, inabilities, lack of self, and disassociation is making me suicidal, but even then, there's something wrong with this world itself. I'd just ctb with a truly hedonistic lifestyle! Maybe different if the wholeworld could transform for just about $500, but well, this whole setup it just a theoretical anyways, still fucked here and now.

 

[cosifantutti]

Yes I would

 

[Duality]

Sure I'd take up the offer, but I don't think I'd feel any different about believing that people should have the choice of CTBing.

 

[wait.what]

I would. I am indifferent to whether I live or die, but I have friends and family who are invested in me getting better that I don't want to hurt.

This.

Also, I agree with those who point out that the issue isn't several million people just happening to have brains that are bad at being happy. Despair and suicidal depression aren't solely problems of individuals. Conditions of material want and inequity, especially with regard to health care, are also part of the picture, as are cultures that tell us that such inequities are fine and natural.