Discussion do you guys see yourself ctbing ?

[mittymittens]

i don't know if i do. i certainly can't see the future nor am i looking forward to it. everyday has been a blur and i have no real concept of time, i feel like ive been disassociating for a long time now.
but i also don't fantasize about ctb, but i guess it would be nice to just not exist anymore.

 

[itsgone2]

This is tough to answer because it's tough to face. Unfortunately I can't see either future. I can't see me tolerating what I'm going through, but I've lacked the guts to ctb thus far so why wouldn't that continue. A few people have said they feel stuck. That's exactly what it is.
It's hard to picture your own death at all. I do like the idea of having control over it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's all I want, all I'm meant for is to never suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence ever again, I'd just never wish for the abomination of existence rather all I want is peace and I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this existence I just always saw as a mistake, for me non-existence is just the only relief in this terrible, dreadful existence that just causes so much suffering and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured. I wish I could just choose to painlessly cease existing, I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall asleep permanently to escape from the pain and suffering of this cruel, futile existence.

 

[treeckofan]

As of right now, I see myself CTBing. I had a failed attempt last month, but I'm planning to try a different method and hope to be successful. I feel like I've given it a lot more thought and research since the first attempt, which was pretty impulsive.

I do relate to it being nice to just not exist anymore. I wish I could go to sleep and just not wake up. I feel like that would be easier for my family, friends, and various therapists/psychiatrists I've seen to accept. CTBing unfortunately takes a lot of effort.

 

[MyShadow]

i don't know if i do. i certainly can't see the future nor am i looking forward to it. everyday has been a blur and i have no real concept of time, i feel like ive been disassociating for a long time now.
but i also don't fantasize about ctb, but i guess it would be nice to just not exist anymore.

I've had vivid dreams of my death Needless to say they're disturbing. Every time I've had one it shook me awake before the moment of death.

 

[wasalloverher]

Not really, as bad as it sounds, I still fear death alot, even though at some moments I cant think other than wishing I would just not wake up the day after. There is still enough ambition within me and things for me to pursue like finally learning the guitar and piano, learning another language, moving out of my really annoying household.
I havent been on this site in so long, I wish anyone reading a nice day

 

[farewell_to_my_mask]

I see myself doing it eventually. Not anytime soon but whenever I get the resources to do so.

 

[divinemistress36]

Yes when I get the courage to