Discussion Do you find comfort in making a plan to CTB?

[Jacquelyn]

I don't know what it is exactly, but browsing SS and reading pro-choice suicide PDFs seems to almost be a relaxing pastime. I like building a well crafted plan. Back when I was seriously planning my suicide, I had a document I made with pages and pages of my personally chosen methods and short, but accurate instructions under each. I even had pictures and diagrams for some. Sometimes I'd plan out what I wanted to do on the last couple days before I CTB.

Anyways, does anyone feel a strange sense of comfort in having a plan and learning about methods, even if suicide is your plan B?

 

[blivogade]

Yes very much so, knowing ill have something to fall back on if needs be brings me great comfort.

 

[Skylight]

Definitely. I also find comfort in revising my suicide note. I've found it helps calm me down.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Having a plan worked out has relieved a lot of pressure for me. The process itself also brought up things I wasn't aware of and needed to deal with, and that released pressure as well.

 

[deadpixels]

I find some comfort as well, it's hard to explain. My previous attempts were rushed and naive but now I'm carefully planing all the steps.

By the way, do you still have your material? Would you mind sharing it?

 

[Jacquelyn]

I find some comfort as well, it's hard to explain. My previous attempts were rushed and naive but now I'm carefully planing all the steps.

By the way, do you still have your material? Would you mind sharing it?

I'll check if I still have it, it would be a pretty decent resource, however I'm pretty sure I looked for it before.

I find some comfort as well, it's hard to explain. My previous attempts were rushed and naive but now I'm carefully planing all the steps.

By the way, do you still have your material? Would you mind sharing it?

Didn't find anything, not even in my trash :/
There's one other account that may have it in my files, but I somehow managed to lose the password

 

[fantasy_function]

very much so, it's comforting to kno that i'll be well-prepared, if that makes sense. i used 2 stress about the process immensely when i was trying to go out w a bang--like, where 2 buy it (illegal 4 me), where 2 have it shipped, buying it whole versus putting 1 together myself, da da da ad infinitum. it got 2 the point where i knew i wanted 2 die but had no real certain means of going about it n what a fun little spiral that put me into. going thru the process of putting a coherent fucking plan together made me feel a lot better, i go over it from time 2 time n it just puts me at ease. that certainty is a real good feeling, n there's smth very real and comforting about getting it written out

 

[Isittimetogonola]

Most definitely. I carry my method with me at all times. All planned out with a back up. Even though my letters are continually updated, they are complete and could be sent as is. I keep my financial stuff up to date (i.e. passwords, list of accounts) I could go in a moments notice but still know not quite ready. But to have it all in order is very comforting.

 

[Jacquelyn]

Most definitely. I carry my method with me at all times. All planned out with a back up. Even though my letters are continually updated, they are complete and could be sent as is. I keep my financial stuff up to date (i.e. passwords, list of accounts) I could go in a moments notice but still know not quite ready. But to have it all in order is very comforting.

You carry your method with you at all times? Hmm... Pistol?

 

[fantasy_function]

You carry your method with you at all times? Hmm... Pistol?

wild wild west style

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

First of all nice peep photo, I love Peep. I wasn't sure at first if it was just the peep sweet but then saw you had schemaposse on the photo!
Yes suicide planning helps me. It makes me feel in control and that there is a "green button" when thinks get out of control then I can exit. That's been taken away though as my parents were alerted I'm suicidal yesterday and police maybe sanctioning me. Just wish people respected our decisions. There was no "I'm sorry you feel this way." Just you have nothing to be depressed about.

 

[LastRide]

Most definitely. I carry my method with me at all times. All planned out with a back up. Even though my letters are continually updated, they are complete and could be sent as is. I keep my financial stuff up to date (i.e. passwords, list of accounts) I could go in a moments notice but still know not quite ready. But to have it all in order is very comforting.

That's great ! You're lucky (or not - maybe you just tried harder !) that all your « worldly » stuff has been sorted ! That's the one thing kerping me away from suicide right now, ir's that I need to get everything in pristine order so my ctb won't leave a mess worse than my brains on the wall...lawyers just starting to work again right now, so hopefully soon I'll have it all worked out !

 

[SheJumped]

I plan to hang myself, my attention always goes to heavily wooded areas when I'm out. Wondering if that location will ever be utilized.
I update or reword letters to friends, child and family members when I catch the bus.
As time goes on this cycle has been therapeutic.

 

[mathieu]

I find it comforting knowing I can make it all stop.

 

[muffin222]

Absolutely. It fills me with immense relief to know I have a sure fire way out if I ever decide to take that route

 

[Isittimetogonola]

Please know it took me a long time to get to this point and I was in the same place as you. For me as I become more sure of my CTB, the more organized I became. You will get there as well. It was one more pebble off my rock pile. ❤