do you feel your so called ''family'' are a bunch of strangers?

[lnlybnny]

or relatives for that matter. i wouldn't even use the word family or relatives. it's just the lack of better words. i don't consider myself as a part of these people. i can't talk to them about my true feelings and thoughts and i don't want to. they don't understand me and i don't understand them. it's like we're completely strangers to each other and i'm fine with it. i almost don't talk to them anyway. on a daily basis i just interact and live with one of them, thankfully. even if we see each other like, once a year, it's still too much for me, my energy gets totally drained (i mean what energy lol i don't have any but you know what i mean) anyhow, it's funny how they think they know me, how they base their judgement on me on who they think i am. i wish i haven't ever met them. but it isn't just them, it's 99% of people. i don't feel a part of humans in general. it's one of the reasons i want to ctb.

 

[Camper]

I wish. They're deeply sick people. There are better people to hang around with.

 

[Ash]

Yup. And they seem like strangers to me. Very little in common and no ability to cross the gap.

 

[Circles]

In all reality no one knows what someone else is going through or what suffering they endure most especially family members. My family is dysfunctional as fuck including myself granted but I feel like I cannot be myself however that's possible with them. They say blood is thicker than water but happens what that blood is poison? I'll never understand how it's possible feeling like your family is a thousand miles away despite really being only feet away.

 

[lnlybnny]

I wish. They're deeply sick people. There are better people to hang around with.

this!!! i wish we could choose where and to whom we are born to, or that we could just go live with the people we love and feel that are ''true'' family

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes, they are neurotypical

 

[lnlybnny]

In all reality no one knows what someone else is going through or what suffering they endure most especially family members. My family is dysfunctional as fuck including myself granted but I feel like I cannot be myself however that's possible with them. They say blood is thicker than water but happens what that blood is poison? I'll never understand how it's possible feeling like your family is a thousand miles away despite really being only feet away.

yeah i'm no saint, i just wish i could hang and live only with people i love and feel connection to (they are rare but okay). i don't feel blood is thicker than water at all, i don't feel i belong between them

 

[uzuf86]

I am not sure about my family, but I feel like I am a stranger to myself these days.

 

[CowardStaysIn]

My narcissistic mother intentionally pitted her kids (from her first marriage) against me (the scapegoat) and after she did the world a favor and keeled over when I was 20, I've spent that time to now trying to get them to see that I'm not the person she claimed I was ( when I was suicidal/depressed and she refused to get me help because it would make her look bad to have another crazy kid- her words, "acting out" or as much as a nerd who just wanted to be alone to read/listen to music/practice instruments could).

There were times when I thought I was making progress only for them to say/do something that reminded me that they still saw me as egg donor painted me, so I would withdraw for long periods of time. Now that they're older and experiencing their own mental health stuff, they finally "understand", but I am at the point where I'm no longer interested in engaging about it. I keep getting, "We wish we knew you better" but it's a bit too late for that. I do love my siblings but there are some things that I just cannot forgive them for. They aren't a support network though they claim they want to be.

When I was younger, it was, we're raising our kids, we don't have time to deal with your shit. So I just refused to open up. Whenever I needed something from them, they attached a ton of conditions. I was the youngest, so I was "spoiled" though they didn't know how things really were with egg donor and enabler dad behind closed doors. I chose to remain childfree (I'm no parent and never saw myself as one, even as a kid) so I don't even have kids in common with them. I was involved in their kids' lives so they know me as I am, not as their parents think.

I sometimes go to family events, and I feel like an observer. I don't believe in patching anything up at this point - they don't even know the extent of the sexual abuse/who did it in my childhood. And egg donor is a fucking saint, and I don't even want to open that can of worms of how she abused me.