Discussion Do you feel that your problems are justified?

[Dr.Duck]

I personally don't think how I feel and what I do is justified. How do you feel?

 

[itsgone2]

You don't think being suicidal is justified?

 

[Dr.Duck]

You don't think being suicidal is justified?

I don't think how I feel is. I don't think I should want to die but I can't help but torture myself.

 

[AstralMadness]

I do. I wish I didn't have them and I was just a normal person though, life's unfair.

 

[kuroshimi]

I don't like when people devalue other people's problems, so I think my problems are justified as well. Life is truly unfair.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

It's a mixture for me. Sometimes I feel like they are justified, other times I feel they are insignificant.

 

[Tautochrome]

Not justifiable by conventional logic and reasoning based on mainstream values for sure!

 

[AstralMadness]

I don't like when people devalue other people's problems, so I think my problems are justified as well. Life is truly unfair.

agreed, never seen the point in devaluing other people's experiences, while some have it better for sure it doesn't mean they're free of problems, and while some might also have bigger/better chances to fix said problems than others, it never really guarantees that their problems won't stop them completely from achieving it. Life's a constant fight and not everybody is cut out for it or has the people around them to help them out with it

 

[Vivissa]

No.

 

[DANDO]

Tbh, im guilty for all my problems. No one else.

 

[bliss.bmp]

probably not, i don't think i really have problems anyway. i don't know why i feel the way i do.

 

[The Silent One]

The parents are the roots of most problem in my experience, no matter what that problem is. I believe that if the parents do their job right, then no kid would have any major problem that would lead them to a place like this.
However, even with this thinking, I don't give up because "everything is against me" or because I feel like these problems have been set on me just because I was born under a certain family, but I always try to find ways to fix these problems, no matter how little.
It's hard to do that, I know. I always feel it, that heaviness, that feeling to just put all of my problems on my parents and just call it a day, and I do, I give up, I cry, my thoughts race to other places. But no matter how far they go, or how long this episode last, I always come back to the right path, the path of fixing and of taking responsibility. And you should too, you, who are reading this.

 

[LostZombie]

Not justifiable by conventional logic and reasoning based on mainstream values for sure!

Feel you there, I have been told many times now that I am too smart for my own good. People are shocked at how good I am a defending the rhetoric of suicide, and everyone has ended the debate with me because they are unable to keep up with me.

I find it quite ironic that the smarter you are the more you realize that life isn't 100% good. Just a thought

 

[badatparties]

The parents are the roots of most problem in my experience, no matter what that problem is. I believe that if the parents do their job right, then no kid would have any major problem that would lead them to a place like this.
However, even with this thinking, I don't give up because "everything is against me" or because I feel like these problems have been set on me just because I was born under a certain family, but I always try to find ways to fix these problems, no matter how little.
It's hard to do that, I know. I always feel it, that heaviness, that feeling to just put all of my problems on my parents and just call it a day, and I do, I give up, I cry, my thoughts race to other places. But no matter how far they go, or how long this episode last, I always come back to the right path, the path of fixing and of taking responsibility. And you should too, you, who are reading this.

Not a parent so i have no skin in the game. This is wrong, parents can do everything right and their kid can still end up suicidal, depressed, or turn into a criminal. It's called genetics and society. That's why having kids is a huge gamble.

The world is just a shit hole.

 

[The Silent One]

Not a parent so i have no skin in the game. This is wrong, parents can do everything right and their kid can still end up suicidal, depressed, or turn into a criminal. It's called genetics and society. That's why having kids is a huge gamble.

The world is just a shit hole.

You're talking from your experience and what I've seen, I'm talking from mine.

Unfortunately, no parent I've met has done everything "right"

 

[badatparties]

You're talking from your experience and what I've seen, I'm talking from mine.

Unfortunately, no parent I've met has done everything "right"

No one can do everything right. It's impossible. I'm talking major things like abuse, neglect, etc.

 

[Dr.Duck]

@The Silent One I agree with @badatparties on this, my parents have been some of the best I've seen. Yet due to a path I fell down I've been led to feeling like this.

 

[The Silent One]

@The Silent One I agree with @badatparties on this, my parents have been some of the best I've seen. Yet due to a path I fell down I've been led to feeling like this.

Lucky then, to have such good parents, be it yours or in your community in general, they seem like the dominating ones

 

[Noi]

Problems people face being justified is an incredibly flawed measure. After all it's a line drawn in sand, fundamentally. For a very illustrative example let's take my addiction or rather lack there of to nicotine. If I was the benchmark for nicotine addiction, most people wouldn't be justified in their addiction. By some or other quirk of brain chemistry I have either substantially less severe withdrawal symptoms or I can cope with them better.

What I suppose I'm getting at is this. The lines in the sand are at the very least currently necessary but hold no higher truth to them innately.

 

[Black_Knight]

I think so, but I feel too strangled by real but nonsensical circumstances to live by it. I feel like my life is in a constant state of compromise, and when I compare it to others I don't even begin to reach the level of compromise they make. So I don't understand how they do it. All of this freaks me the fuck out and I want it to be over.

 

[kuroshimi]

Not a parent so i have no skin in the game. This is wrong, parents can do everything right and their kid can still end up suicidal, depressed, or turn into a criminal. It's called genetics and society. That's why having kids is a huge gamble.

The world is just a shit hole.

This.

Society and genetics have HUGE impact on personality development. Perhaps even more than parents. That's why I don't want to have kids, because not much depends on me.

 

[Noi]

Not a parent so i have no skin in the game. This is wrong, parents can do everything right and their kid can still end up suicidal, depressed, or turn into a criminal. It's called genetics and society. That's why having kids is a huge gamble.

The world is just a shit hole.

I fundamentally disagree, parents like all people can't do everything right. People make mistakes, it's inevitable. The scale and severity wary of course, but there's no such thing as a perfect human who's made the best possible decision in all cases. Nor is there a perfect parent who's made the best possible decision in every case. The best you can hope for in parenting and in life is to avoid major fuck ups.

 

[badatparties]

I fundamentally disagree, parents like all people can't do everything right. People make mistakes, it's inevitable. The scale and severity wary of course, but there's no such thing as a perfect human who's made the best possible decision in all cases. Nor is there a perfect parent who's made the best possible decision in every case. The best you can hope for in parenting and in life is to avoid major fuck ups.

I didn't mean every single tiny little thing right. I meant the major things. Read back through my posts.

 

[telekon]

Not a parent so i have no skin in the game. This is wrong, parents can do everything right and their kid can still end up suicidal, depressed, or turn into a criminal. It's called genetics and society. That's why having kids is a huge gamble.

The world is just a shit hole.

Alright, I haven't posted or commented in almost a month because I'm trying to phase this website out of my life but I have to put my two cents on this one.

It's the parents. It's the fucking parents every time because yes, the world is a shit hole. It is your job to prepare them for that shithole. Look around! Learn the surroundings and then prepare that young one to survive in them. If you're fucked up and suicidal, it's because your parents are generally asshats.

And know your genes too... like if you have some weird mental or physical quirk and you pass that along to your child, you obviously in your 30+ years of life must have learned a way to deal with it, so train your child in how to deal with it too. I swear to god, parents just don't give a fuck half the time. They forget to raise their kids.

If you do everything right, you're fine. Your kid won't be suicidal. They might not be successful in any way, shape, or form, but they're certainly not going to blow their brains out, hang themselves, or dream day and night about swallowing deadly poisons as so many of us often do.

 

[badatparties]

Alright, I haven't posted or commented in almost a month because I'm trying to phase this website out of my life but I have to put my two cents on this one.

It's the parents. It's the fucking parents every time because yes, the world is a shit hole. It is your job to prepare them for that shithole. Look around! Learn the surroundings and then prepare that young one to survive in them. If you're fucked up and suicidal, it's because your parents are generally asshats.

And know your genes too... like if you have some weird mental or physical quirk and you pass that along to your child, you obviously in your 30+ years of life must have learned a way to deal with it, so train your child in how to deal with it too. I swear to god, parents just don't give a fuck half the time. They forget to raise their kids.

If you do everything right, you're fine. Your kid won't be suicidal. They might not be successful in any way, shape, or form, but they're certainly not going to blow their brains out, hang themselves, or dream day and night about swallowing deadly poisons as so many of us often do.

Can people please read these posts in context. He said if the parent's do their job right, then almost no kids would turn out bad.

I said that is wrong, parents often do a good job and the kids turn out crappy due to other factors like genetics and society, things a parent has no control over whatsoever. That's why having kids is a huge fucking gamble.

Read in context for fuck sake people!

 

[Noi]

I didn't mean every single tiny little thing right. I meant the major things. Read back through my posts.

That's still incredibly dubious. For people to make even good enough choices three prerequisites must be met, they need to be able to conceive of the choice, they need to be able to identify the best choice available to them and they must have the resources to actually make it.

 

[telekon]

Can people please read these posts in context for pete's Fudgin sake. He said if the parent's do their job right, then almost no kids would turn out bad.

I said that is wrong, parents often do a good job and the kids turn out crappy due to other factors like genetics and society, things a parent has no control over whatsoever. That's why having kids is a huge fucking gamble.

Read in context for fuck sake people!

I did... I'm saying that if they raise their kids properly, they won't want to strangle themselves with the night-night method, despite society.

Parents need to teach their kids coping skills and how to navigate the world, give them proper nutrition, and be emotionally present. If your kid can't cope and blows their brains out, it's on you.

The only time it maybe isn't the parent's fault that their kids hung themselves is if they were suffering an irremediable physical condition they couldn't get assisted dying for. If they are killing themselves because of mental illness, homelessness, addiction, prison sentence — all of these reasons can usually be routed back to the parents in some shape or form.

 

[badatparties]

That's still incredibly dubious. For people to make even good enough choices three prerequisites must be met, they need to be able to conceive of the choice, they need to be able to identify the best choice available to them and they must have the resources to actually make it.

What the fuck are you talking about? I literally agreed with your previous post when you said that all we can hope for is to avoid major fuck ups. I swear people just like to be contrarians for no reason.

Nor is there a perfect parent who's made the best possible decision in every case. The best you can hope for in parenting and in life is to avoid major fuck ups.

I did... I'm saying that if they raise their kids properly, they won't want to strangle themselves with the night-night method, despite society.

Parents need to teach their kids coping skills and how to navigate the world, give them proper nutrition, and be emotionally present. If your kid can't cope and blows their brains out, it's on you.

The only time it maybe isn't the parent's fault that their kids hung themselves is if they were suffering an irremediable physical condition they couldn't get assisted dying for. If they are killing themselves because of mental illness, homelessness, addiction, prison sentence — all of these reasons can usually be routed back to the parents in some shape or form.

Wrong. Society and mental illness (which is largely genetic) absolutely has an affect regardless of parenting skills. That's why so many well raised children end up with horrible lives.

Kids also have free will and make plenty of their own shitty decisions to fuck up their own lives. Laying all of the blame on the parents is moronic.

Respectfully, I'm done with this thread. Peace.

 

[Noi]

What the fuck are you talking about? I literally agreed with your previous post when you said that all we can hope for is to avoid major fuck ups. I swear people just like to be contrarians for no reason.

Ah I see where the misunderstanding lies. Making no major fuck ups means you generally chose the best possible option you could. I can't really say the parents fucked up if they couldn't even conceive of the option they should've taken, or their hand was forced by factors outside of their total or immediate control.

Let me give you two examples, you trusted your family to provide handle their finances. For example say you guaranteed a mortgage for a family member, in a culture where guaranteeing loans for family members is pretty normal. They couldn't pay so you had to bail them out. Your finances are now fucked, so you're unable to be present for your child enough. The same applies to your partner. Sure, you could argue it was a major fuck up but I wouldn't agree due to it being common practice, assuming there was no reason to doubt they would pay back the loan.

Or a second example, you and your partner both have undiagnosed neurodivergence. Your child gets born with it, you don't recognize the symptoms because to both of you, they're normal. Your child doesn't get diagnosed because there's no reason for them to see a psychiatrist, since all the signs of said neurodivergence are just normal to you. Did the parents fuck up, again arguably so but I wouldn't consider it a fuck up.

Maybe it's an issue with language, since fuck up or rather it's equivalent in my native tongue means a mistake that stems from negligence or incompetence.