Z

zadig777

naive fool
Sep 18, 2018
180
every time i visit this site i feel shame and regret reading and thinking about this
but i also feel the same shame and regret-even more when i go in the world outside knowing that the way i see it now-my reality is just a fragment of what i was just a few months ago
both ways i feel stupid and fooled and fucked up by myself every day and feel quilt,shame and regret about it
even friends when we are outside are asking me whats wrong with u,i guess i just have that hopeless look in me which i never had :/
 
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weedoge

weedoge

Banned
Jul 12, 2018
1,525
Mildly yes I think so. But I don't feel a lot in general so not really, I continue forward with this odd emptiness.

Sorry that even your friends are picking up on it. Tbh I discuss feelings here to come to terms with then and relate with other people, it helps with the shame if anything.
 
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W

wagram

Member
Sep 16, 2018
20
No.
I found some good advice here.
Just make sure my family or friends dont find out.
 
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Q

QueenEtna

Gone
Jul 29, 2018
256
Nope, it's a social platform for me. And whenever I'm crying and depressed looking up methods makes me feel so much better.. Now where did I place my necktie..
 
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blueming

blueming

if we can stand outside the borders of time
Sep 21, 2018
253
No, this site actually calms me when I'm upset and feeling down because there are so many like-minded people here and in a way it makes me feel less alone. I do understand what you mean, but I hope you know that you have nothing to be ashamed of :)
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
No shame at all. On the contrary, I feel less alone when visiting this forum. Nobody knows me here. Makes me feel safe. When being really down, a visit here, reading and commenting thoughts you guys writes, calms me down.
 
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Kim

Kim

Daydreamer
Sep 18, 2018
155
No. It helps me a lot to talk to other people with the same thoughts. I can talk here about everything... that's a big different to the real world outside.... O_o
 
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MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
No,people have the right to discuss this and by extension,the right to die. Something that simply isn't respect by the prison we live in called "society"
 
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R

RacilyDank

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
321
Yes and no. I don't feel any personal shame for having these thoughts and sharing them with other people. When I get my phone out in public though I grimace at the thought of anyone seeing this on my browser.
 
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S

Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
No, only people who understand me and dont judge
 
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Anubiscan

Anubiscan

Member
Sep 26, 2018
24
Not at all. I know im not alone
 
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Jerryman

Jerryman

Member
Jul 19, 2018
93
It makes me feel less lonely, it's good being in contact with people who understand. I sometimes find it calming.
 
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Going Home

Going Home

Specialist
Sep 21, 2018
357
No I do not feel shame. This site provides great resources and from reading the posts I know that I'm not alone.
 
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Sun Stealer

Sun Stealer

Experienced
Aug 19, 2018
220
Not at all. If you feel so bad to ctb no one is going to understand that apart from someone else in same position. All I get from doctor now is are you suicidal
 
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B

Ben

Warlock
Sep 12, 2018
784
I don't feel shame. I love this place.

one thing I can feel while I visit this place though, Is uncertainty. Am I spending my last days correctly? Am I helping or hurting people with my words? It's such a sensitive subject...I told myself when I joined, I'm going to be among people who want to die. They have the right to choose death to escape the pain, because I have that right too. When a user successfully KTB, I have to belive that it was a "good" thing. They escaped their pain and they are finally at peace. If I'm to support pro-choice, this is how I have to look at it. Otherwise this site would be a great source for more heartbreak over lost connections for me.

I've made what I consider friends here. It's going to really really suck when and if the day comes I never get to talk to them again, but I will be at peace with their decision...because the joy I got out of their interactions with me, doesn't hold a candle to the pain they interact with their life. It would be selfish to want to them to stay.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, if you don't want to die, say so, and you will be helped!

Otherwise, it's not my place to try and save anyone. It's up to the user to request it. it's not my business, or want, to go around convincing people who want to die that they should live. I'll save that energy for people who want it.
 
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Sun Stealer

Sun Stealer

Experienced
Aug 19, 2018
220
Well said Ben. It's good to be with friends who understand. I don't want anyone to ctb but understand that sometimes people feel it's their only choice and I respect that
 
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B

Ben

Warlock
Sep 12, 2018
784
Well said Ben. It's good to be with friends who understand. I don't want anyone to ctb but understand that sometimes people feel it's their only choice and I respect that

I only want people to KTB who say they need to. If they say they are ready, I won't question them. But If they have questions, so do I hah
 
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Q

Qwsapoik

Member
Sep 26, 2018
6
Not shame so much.
More a slight feeling of embarrassment? Not quite the right word I'm looking for.
I've read how many of you struggle with mental and physical health problems. I have neither of these yet still find myself resenting the fact I have to wake up and go through the charade of life.
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Yes, definitely. I'm just waiting until my time comes... But I'm glad to hear that this site provides so much for those who need it.
 
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M

Merseymike

Member
Sep 1, 2018
41
Not at all. Just need some courage....
 
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L

Lost

Member
Apr 18, 2018
88
Not at all. It's good to have people to talk about your feelings about ctb without being told that I am selfish and dumb and all will get better. Nowhere else I can talk about how I feel on the inside
 
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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
I don't feel shame, but this site has become a guilty pleasure for me to keep coming back to 'in secret'
 
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C

Ccre

Member
Sep 11, 2018
29
Nope, no shame no guilt, tired is the only thing I feel without fail.
 
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Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
Nope. I'm so happy I found this site. I can finally be myself.
 
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Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
No. I couldn't be more grateful for my site and the mods are amazing.
 
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Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Господи помилуй — мир в Україні!
Sep 7, 2018
689
I don't feel shame, but this site has become a guilty pleasure for me to keep coming back to 'in secret'

This. Also, my laptop is in the bedroom that my mother and I share. I don't want her to look just past the TV and see the "Sanctioned Suicide" logo. She would get on my case and tell me not to come to SS again. Eh bien!
 
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C

Ccre

Member
Sep 11, 2018
29
No. I couldn't be more grateful for my site and the mods are amazing.

This site helps me feel a bit less of an abomination
 
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CentreMid

CentreMid

Sorry
Aug 23, 2018
478
Not at all. I feel welcomed and accepted here. I don't really mind if someone from the outside sees me here, they won't care about me anyways.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,798
Not at all
 
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R

Ryukil93

Member
Aug 13, 2018
96
No, why should I?
 
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