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Do you feel more suicidal in Sprimg?
Thread starterJade10666
Start date
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My wish to die isn't to do with that, I always wish to not exist and it's all I could wish for, my wish to cease existing is a result of being conscious in this futile, torturous existence where there's all this suffering and cruelty, existence itself really is the true problem to me and simply just existing is enough to make me wish to not exist. For me non-existence is all that's positive and desirable and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer in this cruel existence no matter what, I just wish for the peace of an eternal sleep, I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing.
For me it is opposite. Dark cold winter makes me more depressed. During spring, snow melts, nature becomes alive, warmth. I feel motivated, I feel energetic.
The holidays make me more suicidal but then the promise of cold winter afterwards saves me. I have reverse seasonal affective disorder so I am definitely more suicidal in the spring. I would give anything to avoid roasting in the summers that are only getting hotter.
I find spring/summer harder too - more 'pressure' to be out and about and active and using the good conditions. That and I much prefer cold (can put on layers) to heat (stuck sweating).
In autumn/winter I feel a sort of weird empowered if I make it out and about with my exercise levels - an arrogant 'one upmanship'. But that self-imposed satisfaction is invalidated in nicer weather as everyone is out and about and active again.
Wow, I never knew that. I feel like I start to get a lot of suicidal ideation in April/May and then by June I'm attempting ( obviously not successfully). I spoke to my therapist about it, cos I noticed a pattern.
Most lethal attempt was in May 4 years ago, so I would say yes. Something about spring induces the focused and singular state of mind necessary for suicide.
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