Discussion Do you feel like you can be open and honest to those around you?

[SnowWhite]

Title says it all.
Do you feel like you can be open and honest about what you're going through, regardless of what that may be, to those around you? Be they friends, family or co-workers.

Personally I can't with most people. The few people I consider close, I've met through here and one friend who I've known since I was 11. I feel like I can't trust anybody else as it's never gone well for me in the past.

I'd be interested in your thoughts and personal experiences on this

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm blessed to have good friends that I can be mostly open to. I've told them about self-harm, chronic suicidal ideation, the r*pes (to make sure I wasn't being dramatic or mislabeling), and that I plan to kill myself in the future. They haven't run away yet. I really don't know why.

Of course there's things I can't talk about including intentional overdosing as self harm, planning my suicide. I don't want to scare them or have the cops called on me to take me to the ER. Plus, I don't think it's fair to put that pressure on them. I know I told them I would kill myself, but I made it clear that there won't be anything that they can do and that it's not anyone's fault. Just me being too tired and in too much pain to stay alive. I had a long chat with each of them and answered any questions or concerns.

 

[leiche]

i can, but only on this forum. all my friends will definitely say i'm stupid and try to discourage me, so i just won't say them anything at all. if we speak not only about ctb, then i have 1-2 people i can trust and that's enough for me since i barely communicate with anybody

 

[Soulless Angel]

you are told it's its good to talk, so you talk, then you get the old cliche bullshit replies, with no real hope or support, just empty platitudes, so how is it good to talk when its just words coming forth with no real listener?
For this reason, just one reason, I am no longer honest with those around me, I deal with my issues in silence.

Yet, I have spoken on this forum for a long time, this is the only place I feel safe to do so, people here actually listen, understand and respect.

 

[sadghost]

No, not anymore. I know that I am able to talk about my problems/vent to them but I wouldn't dare to mention my plans to CTB. The only place that I feel safe to say how I truly feel is here.

 

[Green Destiny]

Definitely not.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm pretty bad at lying but I'm also good at not saying how I really feel some times. I can be slightly more open around people I feel have been through similar experiences as me though.

 

[BehindTheWall]

I never talked about my feelings and will never do. My mother said to me one day "just talk to me, tell me what you got in your mind and your heart!" But I can't, I really can't.

 

[freefrommybody]

No. I've been quiet irl for years. Even if they want to help, the stigma of people thinking I'm woefully flawed would only add to my strain. I'm most comfortable keeping things private.

This might stem from my upbringing, which was colored by competition and passive-aggressive, parental assessment. When someone did something wrong, they became the tainted problem child, the cautionary example, and the burden rather than the asset. I hated the shame of being that, so I tried to never look bad, solving problems alone and hiding my disturbed mental health.

I only feel self-worth when I'm either useful to, or superior to someone else. The main reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I don't want to die without being useful enough. Relying on others is a setback to my quota. I aim to be the one relied upon.

Also, there's this edge on people's faces when they're worried about me. Even in casual conversation, I know I'm itching at the backs of their minds. The people around me are relatively bright and fun. If the darkness in my mind were disclosed, it might cast permanent shadows over my relationships.

Some people think it very isolating to wear a fake smile to fit in, being surrounded by people who don't really know you. That's exhausting, I'm sure, but I feel more isolated when everyone knows I'm different, especially when they're considerate about it.

.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I've tried being open with people a lot in the past. The truth is that no one cares and have their own lives to deal with first without having to carry someone else's burdens. I gave up on expecting things from others a long time ago. Even if I helped them at a point when they were struggling, I never got the same back.

 

[Eren]

I don't trust anyone IRL to tell them this kind of thing, only people I've met in SS

 

[Sarahlynn]

I talk about my mental health issues like the depression and anxiety, for people who get somehow close to me it's obvious that I have these issues.

I never talk about my thoughts on suicide or how severe my depression actually is. I have opened up to current therapists about my plans to suicide, but refuse to talk about specifics such as method and timeline.

 

[Susannah]

Absolutely not. I'm constantly juggeling between my different "personalities". On the outside, I'm the kindest, most understandable person. I tell people what they expect or want to hear. I lie all the time. I never show signs of weakness. Nobody in the real world really knows me, yet I'm pretty sure I know them very well. I lie about feeling good, being optimistic about the future. I lie about my drug abuse (ligh, only weed and alcohol). I've tried the "honest path" once before. People got so shocked they considered me crazy and psycotic. Ended up at the psych ward.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

not really. i rarely ever talk about personal things to my friends or family, because i don't feel a connection to them. i mean, sometimes i say i'm feeling tired when they ask, but i just leave it at that. i haven't really felt close to anybody in a while.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've tried being open with people a lot in the past. The truth is that no one cares and have their own lives to deal with first without having to carry someone else's burdens. I gave up on expecting things from others a long time ago. Even if I helped them at a point when they were struggling, I never got the same back.

This is almost word for word what I was gona write. Hit me right in the feels.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Other people: "You should talk about your problems. It's okay not to be okay!" #BeKind #MentalHealthAwareness

Suicidal person: Opens up about things.

Other people: "Uhh you're so toxic! I'm tired of your negativity. You're obviously an attention seeker!"

Suicidal person: Dies.

Also other people: "Such a tragic loss! There were no signs! ...Also you've hurt us all!"

 

[draw a circle]

Used to. There's my friend who knows everything that's going on in my life, and up until entering college I told my mom everything I did or felt. But the friend, I think he eventually build up an immunity towards me and my rambling and said (jokingly, maybe) that he just stopped listening to me along the way. So when I start feeling suicidal (more actively than before, since we used to joke about suicide to cope) I didn't tell him anything bc I think he wouldn't care, also avoiding the risk of triggering him. For my mom, I've realized a few things about me that might be against my mom's views, so I never told her personal stuff anymore. There's nobody I could tell about me being suicidal, it's awkward and it's a burden to people. Which is unfair, because there were people who isn't even close to me that told me about their mental health problems. Wish I could do the same.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Absolutely not. The only place I can be open and honest is here and my psychiatrist office.

 

[Dystopic_Momento]

No. Absolutely not. I've tried. Repeat bad experiences aren't tolerated in America. They must be your fault.

And therapy is mainly horrific and harmful. The DSM is a nightmare and it's been weaponized. It's heavily tied in with courts and rights can be stripped with a fake diagnosis. Not to mention, the poor don't have privacy rights.

 

[Hanzo]

They will never understand. My friends told me that "this is serious and this hurts me so stop doing it" when I told them about self harm without ever being there to listen to the issues. They kinda all just forgot after that one time interaction? Pretty sure I have no friends now tho cuz I dropped out of the program where I made all my friends. Family thinks people who kill themselves are stupid and also hate gay people (I'm bi) so I have no plans to be open to them anytime soon.

 

[icanhasnick]

No, of course not, it's very hard being open and honest in a situation like this. I'd very much like to tell my closest friend about, well, about the bus thing. But even with her, I'm not sure she won't try to "save" me if she knows. Maybe I will tell her, though.

 

[Lupgevif]

Nope, I have nobody. My parents get defensive for some reason, and either lash out or ignore me as if my issues are attacking them somehow. My friends just treat it as routine, the most they will say is "same". And my therapist has simply disregarded so many things I've said before it feel pointless to repeat it or add something new.

 

[http-410]

Although I could open myself to a few people, I don't want to. It is too difficult for me to talk about unpleasant things and I don't want to burden anyone. The downside is that I feel inauthentic towards people close to me, but I can live with that.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I think I might be the odd one out here, because I am fairly open with people, except for maybe my mother. I didn't tell anyone I was going to attempt suicide, but I think that one is understandable. I don't expect any help or understanding or anything like that from people though. Sometimes people commiserate, sometimes they provide a different perspective, and often they just don't get it or don't care, and I'm cool with all four options, none of them makes me regret being open.

 

[Rue89]

I definitely couldn't tell my family. I only talk about what's going on in my life here.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm incredibly fortunate and I can be open with my friends. I've told them some things to prepare them and they've basically been like "okay, it'll hurt me but it's your life". One even asked me if I want them to stop me or let me go when the moment comes. I was shook. I obviously don't tell them other things like when I was planning my suicide a few months ago, or how bad it's been lately. They don't need to know any more than what I've told them. And I'm sure as hell not calling when I'm about to kill myself.

Family...yeah no I don't tell them anything. Nope. Sorry. I did ask my theology professor about Hell and suicide, but they said they've been asked about that a lot.

 

[Mr2005]

No because it hurts them whereas no one here cares

 

[ItsOverIsntIt]

No I am not open with people I know at all. I feel like they won't care even if they do. I am more open on this site though. It feels calming venting here and I like the anonymity

 

[WinterFaust]

I try to be open about things with the two friends I have now but I'll admit, I'm not 100% transparent. I tend to hide what I feel are the worst parts of myself because I want others to feel comfortable and happy around me. I've been told that I can be very warm and welcoming but that I'm closed off when it comes to myself? Something to that effect. Sharing negative feelings often makes me feel embarrassed and silly. I always encourage others to share though.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I refuse to open up to people in my life because they don't need to know. I've never been someone who's been very open about how I feel and I'm not about to start.