do you feel guilty about being happy?

[Henryk]

I don't know about you, but when I realize that I'm living a happy moment, my mind gives me a terrible feeling of guilt as if I didn't deserve that. this is one of the reasons why i think i will never get out of this torture

Não sei você mas quando percebo que estou vivendo um momento feliz minha mente me dá um terrível sentimento de culpa como se eu não merecesse aquilo. esta é uma das razões pelas quais eu acho que nunca vou sair dessa tortura

 

[lili]

Entiendo mas o menos lo que estas diciendo, siento que no merezco estar aquí.

 

[JM2RXA]

Very much so; I feel like I need to be punished, which I think is pretty common. Funnily enough, a questionnaire I had to fill in for a new doctor I've been put under asked just this, with options ranging from no, to "I want to be punished".

(Translated poorly with Google Translate).


Muito; Sinto que preciso ser punido, o que acho bastante comum. Curiosamente, um questionário que tive de preencher para um novo médico que fui contratado perguntava exatamente isso, com opções que iam de não a "Quero ser punido".


(Traduzido mal com o Google Tradutor).

 

[jay308]

I feel same. Yesterday for a moment I forgot everything and started watching video. Then I felt "how can be I so carefree and normal? How can I forget my past ?" I turned off the video and started feeling guilty. Then I felt fear in my whole body and loneliness. I switched on my bed side lamp and started crying.

 

[tiredone]

I feel same. Yesterday for a moment I forgot everything and started watching video. Then I felt "how can be I so carefree and normal? How can I forget my past ?" I turned off the video and started feeling guilty. Then I felt fear in my whole body and loneliness. I switched on my bed side lamp and started crying.

This

 

[lionetta12]

I don't know about you, but when I realize that I'm living a happy moment, my mind gives me a terrible feeling of guilt as if I didn't deserve that. this is one of the reasons why i think i will never get out of this torture

Não sei você mas quando percebo que estou vivendo um momento feliz minha mente me dá um terrível sentimento de culpa como se eu não merecesse aquilo. esta é uma das razões pelas quais eu acho que nunca vou sair dessa tortura

Sometimes, I feel guilty when I surround myself with good people and if someone spoil me because I'm not used to it, so I'm in a loop of surorunding myself with horrible abusive people instead because that's what I'm used to.

 

[Rainy_days]

No, it happens so rarely that I just enjoy it while it lasts. I feel plenty of guilt in my usual state of depression.

 

[Pinkliquid12]

When I'm having a happy moment I get a sense of anxiety that this is too good to be true and I need to calm down so that the next thing doesn't hit me like a truck.
I don't understand. Why would you feel guilty? Assuming that what brought you happiness didn't cause someone to suffer.

 

[Ilayis]

There are times I feel immense guilt for being happy. I had a mother that would dive into traffic for me and my siblings. Was there for me at the drop of a hat if I was ever hurt or in trouble(No matter how mad I made her)even into my 20s. We turned 18 and she didn't know what to do with herself so started drinking...Now shes an alcoholic who drives us insane and ruins family stuff. After yrs of trying to help her I finally had to let her go very recently for my own sanity and trying to find some sort of happiness in this fucked up world..I feel insanely guilty that I had to give up on the woman who NEVER gave up on me!!! Now I'm getting all teary eyed thinking about it

 

[Sapphire]

No, I don't feel guilty when I have a good day and feel happy. I live In the moment and enjoy it while it lasts.
You shouldn't feel guilty for being happy. Everyone deserves to be happy.

 

[Ultracheese]

Yes, grief is weird like that. For me, most, if not all whiffs of happiness are sad reminders of past experiences with my friend and the inability to make any new memories with him.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not so much guilt but fear! I don't trust it because I know from experience that it's likely setting me up for a fall. Circumstances will likely change that will end up making me feel much worse than if I hadn't felt that brief moment of optimism initially.

Life in general can feel like that though- if you can't accept losing things easily- sometimes it seems safer not to seek them in the first place- relationships, careers, happiness. EVEYTHING feels so unstable in this life. It's made a lot worse if you find it hard to accept it and go with the flow.

 

[bluville]

Kinda? If I'm ever happy it's from some dumb distraction like video games and I thinks "i shouldn't be doing this I should be getting my life together" or something. Don't know if that counts as "happy" tho

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

Sometimes I feel better, but then I feel as guilty as I can feel good despite my past. And then I remember everything and everything goes back to normal. (normality - wanting to erase all memories, death and self-hatred) its so stupid

 

[Unending]

I always anticipate when the pendulum in my brain will begin to go the other way. It never fails for me, my happiness is always followed by a depression and the drop back down to the abyss only amplifies the pain.

And yes, sometimes when I'm happy, I begin to think about those who are experiencing torment and start to think to myself, "How can I be happy when our existence allows this?" It usually doesn't completely ruin the moment but it's definitely a bitter reminder that my brain faces me with.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm not familiar with the sensation.

 

[asterisk3]

I'm very familiar with the feeling. Funny I see this thread the exact same day I start being aware of it...

We're punishing ourselves. In my case it's so I don't put myself in a "vulnerable situation" (being happy), because I've had many instances where everything went to deep shit real fast as soon as I let myself "go". Possibly one of the reasons I'm so on edge all the time... and also one of the reasons I'll be CTBing if I don't fix it somehow.

 

[mierepeashi]

I feel same. Yesterday for a moment I forgot everything and started watching video. Then I felt "how can be I so carefree and normal? How can I forget my past ?" I turned off the video and started feeling guilty. Then I felt fear in my whole body and loneliness. I switched on my bed side lamp and started crying.

Oh my, this is exactly how I feel, every time I experience something good, after that initial rush, I immediately start remembering how I really am and I feel as if a mountain just fell on my head. It's like the aftermath when taking a drug.

 

[attempt2]

Everyone deserves to be happy. Nostalgic moments where I'm listening to old music or old TV shows on YouTube make me happy and let me forget how depressed I am.

Yesterday I was watching the Royal Rumble wrestling and it was like I was 10 again. Was so happy and carefree for the first time in ages

 

[lonewolf22]

I think the reason we feel guilty is because we subconsciously know that our mind is trying to betray us with these fleeting moments of happiness and so we are resolved to temper our expectations after having lived through countless experiences of being let down by the false hope of things getting better.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I will occasionally laugh at something, but by no means does that mean I am happy.

I do feel guilty about it as I should feel completely miserable in my current state.

 

[stermc]

I used to feel this way a lot of the times. As if I didn't deserve to be here or to be happy or loved. With time, I realized I am deserving of all of those things, even though I don't feel like I belong here. I can tell you that my head is confused all the time, but I am sure I deserve to live good things, even if I end up killing myself.
I have been through so much pain. Why wouldn't I be deserving of happiness?

 

[hellispink]

I am unable to have feelings towards anything. I am a numb machine that just can't feel. So I guess I wouldn't know how to answer cause I feel nothing much less happy thoughts

 

[Ashu]

A rather odd question for this group, no?