Do you feel better knowing if other people went through exactly what you did they'd be like you?

[Ambivalent1]

I always feel bad like I'm defective, but if other people went through my abuse, they'd be like me. There's no "normal life" after what I went through. I've tried to live like others but normal is beyond my reach. I think what messes with my head is that I seem pretty normal to others. It gives me false hope that I can become what they see, but I know that what they see is an illusion.

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes. This applies to my siblings, mostly. My father has always had anger issues before he started taking meds and yelled at us a lot. My siblings are more sensitive than me so he usually found a way to direct the yelling towards me, even if i had nothing to do with the reason that he's yelling for. I got abused significantly more than my siblings who when i open up about how i fell they don't take me seriously. If they also went through what i went through i think they'd be the same as how i am right now.

 

[thrashisland]

Yes, it brings a strange comfort knowing that it isn't me as a defect but the things that have happened to me that have caused me to be this way

 

[Hollowman]

No

 

[CW36]

No

 

[QueerMelancholy]

No because I believe people should learn from history and not repeat it.

 

[Sweet Tart]

Yes, it brings a strange comfort knowing that it isn't me as a defect but the things that have happened to me that have caused me to be this way

A strange comfort is the way I'd describe it, too.

I spent so long hating myself. Now that my eyes have been opened to how damaging my circumstances were (and are in the present, too), it feels like I can stop feeling ashamed of myself (i.e. because I'm traumatized rather than inherently fucked up). It's a relief tho it doesn't make the pain goes away.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Yes, it brings a strange comfort knowing that it isn't me as a defect but the things that have happened to me that have caused me to be this way

That we were just unlucky. Other people aren't better. They're just more fortunate.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I think you are in some ways shaped by your past so you are undoubtedly a product of it. It's also difficult because how alike are they? Same social skills? Same outcomes? What's similar and what is different. Some would be better then me and some would be worse is my ultimate conclusion. That said it's difficult to say. Ultimately, when no one cares about you. It does funny things to you. When you are discarded like a piece of trash and abandoned but told you just endure the suffering that is commiserate with it it breaks you. With people checking in purely to feel good about themselves. Like I've said people don't want to be good they just want to internally be able to tell themselves they are good.