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Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
Some, I think this is a big key to following through.
 
Cerulea

Cerulea

Student
Sep 19, 2022
101
I daydream about it constantly. It's the single most intrusive thought I have ever had. It's much more potent at night, so that's when the bulk of my planning happens. I have no real guilt or issue with how this will impact others. It's a decision that simply isn't about them. It's also relatively easy for me to see that there are some core people who could have made different choices if they were concerned about my happiness, health, and safety. Some things just are what they are.

I used to imagine this act as more theatrical than what my current plans are. Like some others have mentioned, I had plans around I would present myself. I used to think I would do it on some landmark day. Now, I just want the least fuss as possible. I intend to dress comfortably, create a calm surrounding, and have all of my resources in place. I'm prepared to be uncomfortable for a little while. I'm working towards being prepared to survive. I have three day weekends and a relatively private living situation, so I'm confident that I can have the time and space required not just to follow through, but also to recover should I not succeed. The ordinariness of my current plan provides me with a good degree of comfort. Having a plan makes the persistent anxiety and physical pain a little less sharp.
 
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StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
Yes. I used to romanticize it heavily as a teenager, I daydreamt about it in class and even drew it a few times. Back then those daydreams mostly involved ingestion of poison or pills. Now I daydream mostly about plummeting myself from the bridge to the ocean below, followed by eternal darkness where I'm finally at peace.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
It is unimaginable… Like everything else… Everything seems unimaginable Other than doing absolutely nothing
 
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