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L

lependu

New Member
Sep 16, 2023
1
I've been here on & off for years.
I suppose the main thing that prevents me from jumping on my bus is the thought that someone will have to find my body.
Even if I leave a note on the door saying "do not come in, phone the police", I feel like human instinct would cause them to come in, and despite my suffering, I do I love my loved ones - I am very lucky that I do have some people around me.

Please tell me I'm not alone in my doubts, has anyone thought of a way to overcome this? Ensure that it's not your lived ones who find you? Or a random stranger who may be scarred permanently. I don't want my demise to negatively affect others more than it has to.

Peace & Love,
-Acopia:heart:
I would say that the shock of not just finding the body but the whole guilt thing and tragedy for those left behind is my biggest deterrent. I juggle with this and the thought that its my life to do with what I want. Always the thought of my kids has prevented me up to now.
 
jussrav

jussrav

Experienced
Sep 9, 2023
237
I don't mind, with certain methods you look as if you were asleep and the person who finds me might think I had a stroke or along those lines, it won't affect them outside of a little shock I suppose. I mostly think about the life I could have had if I weren't in this situation and mourn the lost years and potential, but that is the only sad subject I think about.
I feel like that the life I could have had and it was brilliant it really was. But its not anymore.
 

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